Men don't have children!

by David
(Minneapolis, MN)

Part 1: Here's the short version...back when I was 23 I had non penetrative "sex" with a filthy little college whore known for "almost" going all the way. Somehow she managed to get pregnant with our son who I loved very much. I decided that I did not care to engage her further by marrying her (smartest thing I probably ever did with her) but did move to MN when she moved there with our son and got a job. For about a year and a half we made it work with me having him two nights a week and every other weekend. Then she announced she was getting married to some smuck back in MI with hardly a months notice and she was gone.

She did however manage to file for CS with MN before she left and so I was stuck not only with a lot in arrears, my son being taken from me (the "man" had not care for my plight just pay the CS), and a monthly CS payment. At the time work was slow and I had been managing maybe 35 on-call hours at $14 per hour but no guarantee of those hours (some weeks 16, others 35, etc.) yet I was forced to pay CS based upon my "ability to earn" for working 40 hours a week at $17 per hour for having a degree (this was in 2004).

Since then I have had no contact with my son, cards and packages sent from myself or other family have been returned. She has moved several times and despite spending several thousands trying to correct all this I've basically given up and am in debt.

Part two: Imagine all the grief, sadness, and depression that comes with part 1. Now I meet another woman in her 30's who insist she is on the "pill" and who pushes me to not use a condom and sometimes I fall for her pouting and don't. She ends up pregnant because a psych med she is on nullifies her "pill". This time I do it all right and we move in together with me mostly supporting both of us while she finishes her Master in Education to be a Spec Ed teacher. We have a beautiful daughter, I'm again in love! I take off 6 weeks from work exhausting my sick and vacation time, I support her as she stays at home raising our daughter but my income isn't enough for her wants and needs (house, car, smartphone, weekly trips to see her family in WI).

She can't find a job with her new fancy degree, she's pissed that I have debt and pay so much for my son in CS that "takes" away from what I make that could be used for us (like buying a house, vacations, etc.) I encourage her to find a job to help out so debts can be paid off and savings can accumulate. She's not a very good "house wife", a terrible cook, I do my own laundry, chores, man chores, am handed the kid every evening after working 10 hour days, I definitely get in at least 50% of the child rearing, plus work 50 hour weeks, plus do 50% of the house chores and all the man chores.

She decides she wants another kid, I'm already stressed and her comments regarding the future strain me more. I stand my ground an say no to more kids and suggest she find a full time teaching job (what the F%^$ is she doing all day anyway). She leaves to her mother's and next I know she not coming back, she moves to another state and files for CS. I'm stuck with a large monthly rent, no car, all the bills (nothing really new but I am already pretty strapped for $$ without this new CS).

I'm already maxed at the top in my current place of employment but CS keeps me from going back to school or taking a lower paying job to come out further ahead,. I am now a slave again. A bullet is a pretty good option right now versus slaving away for another 21 years, always being in debt, never getting ahead, and the severe depression that will surely follow...

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So what now, find another one?
by: Anonymous

I mean, come on man!
Why would you even be with another woman when you haven't gotten your financial house in order?
this is the problem in our society, and the answer is always move to the net one and do it again!
I too was in the CS trap, but when I was put there......I CERTAINLY DID NOT go out to get hooked up with another one.
You have a responsibility now, based upon your own bad decisions.
I know you hate to hear it, but you do what it takes now. even of that is a second full time job.
the court will suffer you no excuses, and to be honest......many in society have no sympathy because people keep creating these messes for themselves.

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