I feel you, I have been raising my step-daughter along with my husband for the last 7 years without support from the mom. She just got out of prision after 10 years and CPS took her when she was 2 and she lived with her grandmother until we were forced to take custody. Well I filed for a step-parent adoption a few years ago and the judge put it on hold, because the bio mom requested to be at the final hearing and disputed the adoption. She never wrote the child since we have had her or spoke with her. The child has very little memory of her bio mom. Now we get court papers in the mail and she is wanting joint custody, and he has not paid one dime in child support. She does live in another state, and when child support contacted her she stated she didnt have a job. OOOH, for the last 6 months she has been sending post cards to the child from her elaborate vactions with her new boyfriend. We have been trying to get child support started for this child for a year in a half, but they have been unable to serve her because she hides. She can come here and we go to court for custody and Texas can't serve her because they don't have jurdicitaion over her. This suck to the the upmost. The bio mom doesn't want to pay child support,does not want me to adopt the child. but wants to take us to court for some deranged order for custody. Oh did I mention the child is now 16. Does this child not have rights. She signed to be adopted 3 years ago. Her bio mom is surely not thinking about the childs emotional state. I thinks she wants the child to pick up where she left off in her criminal activity, because she knows if she goes back it will be for a life sentence.
Aug 14, 2008 Rating
Sorry to hear.... by: Anonymous
Sorry to hear of all the damage that Mental Mom is doing to your kids. In my opinion you should get a court order to prevent her from seeing the children until she has had a full mental evaluation. You do have some leverage with the letter that says she does not want to see the children. Document everything with dates and times in a notebook so you have something in case you do have to go to court. If I were you I would file for child support but as you probably already know the only thing the child support agency is good for is keeping a running tab on how much she owes you. The shock of all of this may help her to realize that you mean business. Filing for child support is cheap if not free. That would be a good start. Also maybe think of getting your kids some psychological help. Someone who is an out side party for your kids to talk to may help to offset some of the damage that Mental Mom is doing. If your working check into your health benefits because it may be covered.
I hope things turn around for you and your kids.
T. Riley
Jun 24, 2008 Rating
Mental Mom... by: Anonymous
Wow Bill,
Have you considered getting a statement from a psychologist stating that your nutz ex's behavior is hurting your children and that she needs to stay away permanently? Have you considered putting whatever monies come in (yours or hers) in a living trust for the children? You have many options and it sound like you should investigate and exercise the most viable of them quickly. It doesn't sound like she can work either, too unstable. A psychologist can help you and you can find one through your state welfare dept. I know because I had to do this.
