Military dad and child support

by Katherine
(Dimmitt, Texas)

I am the custodial parent (mother) of my almost 7 year old daughter. I was 16 whenever I became pregnant with her, and I have raised her ever since. In 2004, I contacted her father to try to persuade him to sign his rights over, being as he had never seen her or spoken to her, by his choice. He refused to have anything to do with the situation, claiming it would wreck his marriage and his family if his wife found out about her. He acknowledged that my daughter was his after seeing a photo I emailed to him, at that time.

I accepted what he said, but made it clear to him that once my daughter started asking questions about her father, I would fully support her in showing up on his doorstep. Shortly thereafter, I filed for child support, only for the state to tell me that they could not locate him, and his parents claimed that they had never heard of him. He was never served, and ORS closed the case. After that, I just decided, "To hell with it," and forgot he existed, and just battled through the financial difficulties by myself.

I have worked hard, graduated high school, went to college, supported my daughter solely without the aid of welfare, and put her through private school. Towards the beginning of this year, my daughter began asking questions about, and expressing the want to know her father. I made good on my promise to him, and tracked him down through the internet. When I found him, I wasn't sure if I had the correct person, and asked him if he was the correct one. He replied, "You have the wrong person." I apologised for botherine him, and went about my search. Upon stumbling across his brother's Myspace page, I realized the "wrong person" was number two on his brother's page.

I was livid. So, I contacted him again, expressing my anger (in a nice way), and let him know the reason for the contact. I gave him 3 days after I saw that he had read the message and ignored it, and I contacted his wife. I gave them two choices: Acknowledge his daughter, or pay child support. They ignored every attempt at contact, so I started a case in Texas with the AG. They had no problem finding him in Hawaii, in the Air Force. Of course, he requested a DNA test after he was served, and he was tested on Oct. 29th. The positive results came in yesterday, and still no word from the father, nor his family who lives just down the street from us. His sister, a few months ago, contacted me, calling me a gold digger because I turned him in for CS.

I politely explained to her that I took responsibility for my child at 16 years old, in every form and fashion, and I was not wrong for expecting him to step up to the plate. I also explained that I gave him a choice in either having something to do with her or paying. He obviously chose paying. After my response, I was called a "desperate trashy redneck," to which I lost my temper and replied that I would rather be a redneck than a piece of shit wetback who doesn't take care of his responsibilities. We have our negotiation hearing on the 8th of Dec. to discuss child support and visitation. I will be requesting full back child support from the time she was born(and they said it will be granted because I have proof of his evading child support services when she was a baby), extra for medical since she had no insurance, and supervised visitation only at this point since he has never met him, and I haven't seen him since we were 16.

I will be starting pre-law school next semester, and am glad that he will start paying next mnonth since I will not be working and will not be able to afford to put her in private school in the new town. I am also glad they are going to intercept his tax refund, but that's just because I'm pissed that he chose the coward's way out, and I think he should be penalized for that. Vindictive, a little? Maybe. But, after 7 years of working my ass off to provide for her, struggling financially, and giving her a damn good life, I feel that I'm entitled. I wonder how the militart views dads like this??