Military Dads

by Cory A. Argenbright
(Colorado Springs, CO, USA)

I am a Soldier in the US Army. I was married when I got deployed on a 15-month rotation to Iraq. During this Rotation my wife had our first child. Upon returning home I was told that she wanted a Divorce. She moved my son 5 stated away from where I am stationed and I have no choice as to whether I can move so I had to stay. I have paid child support since day one and have never been late or behind. Yet every time I turn around I am being hindered from seeing my child. I am currently deployed again and am now having to fight about child support based that I will be making some extra pays while I am deployed. I still am fighting tooth and nail to get my visitation when I am back in the states. I pay 947 dollars a month for one child but yet I was told I cant have custody of my son due to being in the Army. This seems to be a trend among service members and I have gotten no help not even from my attorney. I have contacted US Senators via email from every state and have been told the federal government won't help us. I am tiring to contact my state legislators to see if they can help but with no avail.


We need to unite and get or government help those of us who are suffering at the hands of unfair state child support laws due to our military service.

Comments for Military Dads

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Same issue
by: PFC Tredo Zac

I my self am having the same issue right now as we speak, i am currently deployed in afghan and have been here 7months and only have 5 left, my ex-wife found out that i recieve this "extra pay" and now took me to court to have it raised. I told the court my issues and her not allowing me to even speak to my daughter while i am here is unfair and that i cant help that i am serving my country and supporting my daughter, yet they still see it as only 1% of my time spent with her. And when im home she only lets me see her when she wants and does not follow the order cuz she knows i do not have the time for court. There has got to be some way to stop this from happening to good fathers in the military who just wanna spend time with there children and not be punished or "charged" extra, even with a temp order. if she needs the money that bad then it would have happened before i deployed.It kills me the way the court works yet we give our lives to defend them so they can do this.

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
outcomes
by: Anonymous

curious to hear about any positive outcomes. Currently researching info to allow me to see my kid.
Thomas.eckermann@gmail.com

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
So Sad
by: Anonymous

I feel ya'll pain and at least you are trying to see your children and not just be a paycheck. I was active duty and so was my ex-huband and all he ares about is how uch money I'm getting in child support. When he was a SPC, his chil support was set at $500 for two kids and even after 6 years, I didn't take him back to court to have it raised. He was abusive and a complete jerk and I just wanted him away from us. He tells everyone that I keep him from his kids but I had to get a protective order against him bc he kept hitting me and threatening to take my kids to another state. I was granted sole custody and he was given supervised vistation and he didn't even show up for court! Why? Because it didn't have anything to do with money. So recently the AG took us back re-eval our child support and they raised it. Now he's suing me, claiming I was overpaid, but I paid all medical and dental bills that he was ordered to pay. It's guys like him that make the rest of you look bad and he goes to court playing the "I don't know if I can come back bc I'm in a Special Forces unit and we could deploy at any time" He's not even Special Forces! He's Chemical! But the courts listen to his little violin song and while his mama is paying for his attorney, I'm paying for my own and that's money I could have for my kids. He doesn't call them, send them birthday or Christmas cards, nothing. So for you dads who are tring to see your kids, I'm sorry and wish you the best. My kids call refer to their dad by hid first name and care nothing for him, and that's completely his fault.

Rating
star
Crap
by: Anonymous

I am the mother of Cory's child, and I didn't divorce him because of his deployment. He forgot to mention the fact that he tried to leave me for somebody else, and was trying to cheat on me with several other women right before he deployed. He also forgot to mention the fact that he has major anger problems. I didn't move five states away after he returned. When I was pregnant I had complications and moved with my parents so I wouldn't be alone. I eventually left because I didn't feel that living with him would be safe for me or my child. He also happens to be a habitual liar, and chose not to see his son. I never stopped him from having visitation, but our son was very young when he returned from his deployment and didn't know his father. I wanted him to take some time to get to know him before he left the state with him. During the time that he couldn't "afford" to visit his son because he paid so much child support he was spending over 500 dollars a month at the liquor store. I have never let my son go without a single thing and even after the child support was divided he still took home over 1400 dollars a month more than I did. I'm not really feeling the sympathy considering he had a roommate to split the bills with. If I was you I wouldn't donate a dime to this page because I can guarantee you it's all going in his pockets. I take very good care of my child. He always has nice clothes, plenty of toys, and gets taken fun places regularly. So don't let him fool you into believing that he is a poor pitiful soldier with an evil ex wife. Trust me you wouldn't want your child to be alone with him either.

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
I feel your pain!
by: Anonymous

I am a retired E-7 who got divorced over 15 years ago. While I was married me and ex wife had two daughters. The divorce took place while I was in Korea and I was receiving extras in my pay, COLA, Jump Pay, things of that nature. The state of Ohio had added in all the other pay entitlements even though I would just be receiving those particular pay entitlements for a year which had increased the amount of child support I would have to pay. Now that I am retired I learned before retiring that Child Support would still continue to be paid through my retirement pay, why is that? I have also learned that my VA disability can also be hit up for child support also. I have never been late nor have I neglected my daughters, but it seem the courts don't care whether or not we as fathers have any rights at all. I know all this comes from a combination of "baby daddy's" who make babies but do not take care of their parental responsibilities and greedy mothers who use child support money for their selfish needs and not of their kids! Case in point, I pay over 1,000 a month but my kids live in a small over crowded house, not dressed to the point that you would think, mother has no car, credit is beyond bad, and I can't see how my child support payments is providing for a better living enviornment? Something has to be done for those of us who are good fathers but still get taken advantage of. What about our rights?

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
in the same boat!!
by: Anonymous

well heres my story i got divored 2 yrs ago after comeing back from iraq, when i got back my x wife and kids had moved to ohio. so i hadnt seen my children for a yr when we went to cort for the divorce. later that year i had leave comeing up and talked with my x about my visatation and she agree (even thought my court papers say that i can anyway) let me have the kids, so make the long trip up to ohio to get my kids and she wont awnser the door. i stood there for an hour knocking on the door when i heard my son say "dad is that u?" and then i herd him get smacked and taken away from the door. i then called the police and they entered her house and talked with her for like 15 min then cam out to tell me they cant enforce my TX court order and that i needed to leave the premisus..... the next day i called a lawyer in ohio and he told me there wasnt much i could do with it being a TX court order and that he could try and get it moved up to ohio and then he could do something, only problem with that is #1 for him to do just that he was asking for 6k, found on that would take the case for 4k but still that was only to get it moved to ohio, the #2 it would jump my child support from 761 to 900, mind u i had recontly got remarried and hadanouther child on the way. so i went back to TX with my tail between my legs and went to a lawyer in TX payed 3k forhim to take my case to court and the only thing that happend was that they filled the poilce complaint i had from ohio in my file...... so needless to say its been 3 yrs sence i seen my children. luckly she allows me to call them, but being in iraq its not easy to call on a regular basis. so for the moment im stuck till i go back and go throught this all again. there no one to help, there no one who even cares about our rights as fathers. its almost as if ur forced to wait till there 18 and come looking for u , wondering y u didnt care enought to be in there life....... sawgunner1305@yahoo.com

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Let's do something!
by: Anonymous

I am in the same boat. I went to court got visitation and then when I went to pick my son up his step dad said I couldn't and called the cops saying I theartned him. So that led to a warrant. I am in Iraq right now and have my lawyer working the warrant issue and I am pressing charges on them for filing a false report.

I am also talking with my lawyer and with Jag about starting a group of military non-custodial parents that fights for our rights as fathers not just pay checks.

Let me know if you are interested. I will also eamil you.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Colorado Child Support.