Military father visitation rights violated!!!

by Angelo Minoglio
(Hampton, Va)

My name is Angelo Minoglio and I am currently serving in the U.S Navy. I have been having problems with my Son's Mother with visitation since he was born. I have been ordered to pay $600 dollars in child support each month which I do happily. However, She refuses to allow me to have my visitation. After he was born in 2004 I urgently filed custody and support papers because I new instantly she was going to give me problems. Knowing I would not get custody because I know the way the court system works and being a military father it would be extremely hard to be awarded custody.


But when we went to court she was awarded sole custody and I was awarded the usual every other weekend and every other holiday, with 2 weeks of vacation in the summer and winter. Since then I have had only one visitation with my son. Right after that visitation I had to immediatly deploy to hurricane Katrina relief.

As soon as I left she went and filed an emergency hearing to try to strip me of my visitation. But because of the soldier, sailor act they denied her request. But now the thing is not only am I supposed to have visitation but I have to drive from Norfolk, VA to Baltimore, MD. With gas prices being the way they are and paying child support on top of having a wife and daughter it is kind of hard to afford the travels.

It just really makes me mad to see real men who love there children get kicked around and treated like a dead beat dad. See I don't understand because if us as fathers don't pay the child support then we are thrown in jail. But what about the mother that is in contempt for not complying with a court order does she go to jail? No she just gets the good old don't do it again warning. I just wish I could just get custody of my son or even just a long vistitaion every month to be able to know him and so that he knows that his father is here for him. Well I just want to say thank you and Hope that some of us good fathers get some kind of credit soon.

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rights
by: annamariapeter

The rights are not for violation. The rights are only for obeying. These issues between a father and a mother are affecting the future of the children in a bad manner. The divorcees must think of their children before getting divorced. They will become some criminals in the future.

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the real spell caster that helped me bring my ex back to me
by: jennifer

I just want to share my experience with the world on how Dr uwa help me, I got my love back and saved my marriage… I was married for 6years with 2kids and we lived happily until things started getting ugly and we had fights and arguments almost every time… it got worse at a point that he filed for divorce… I tried my best to make him change his mind & stay with me because I love him so much and don’t want to lose him but everything just didn’t work out… he moved out of the house because it was a rented apartment and still went ahead to file for divorce… I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful, great spell caster who eventually helped me out… I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try reluctantly because I was desperate and left with no choice… He did special prayers and used roots and herbs… Within 7 days my husband called me and he said he was sorry for all the emotional trauma he had cost me, moved back to the house and we continue to live happily, the kids are happy too and we are expecting our third child… I have introduced him to a lot of couples with problems across the world and they have had good news… Just thought I should share my experience because I strongly believe someone out there need’s it… You can email him through his email address finalhomeofsolution@outlook.com

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fight for your son
by: Anonymous

Take her back to court and tell the judge she's doing it again , and ask for custody you have a live to all for the boy fight and keep fighting , for him

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it can get worse
by: Anonymous

my boyfriend got kicked out by the military because of occusaions his ex made... millions of phone calls to his first sgt. until they kicked him out. he was stationed in germany and on the day he had to fly back to his home of record his ex finally signed the divorce papers. While he was back in the US, she took the children for a vacation to her country (in Europe) and using the reason that he is back in the states to simply stay in her country where the children have never lived. my boyfriend, unemployed and broke flew back to germany on a tourist visa to fight this abduction under the hague convention. won in the 1st and 2nd instance, paid about 25K Dollars to get them back to Germany to fight custody which his ex has initiated here 3 years... his ex finally had to bring the children back after her 10 monnth stay in her country, manipulating and brain washing the kids... my boyfriend managed to find a job in the german economy and get a residence permit. He is still here fighting to get his children back to the US (where they all originally came from). Even offering his ex to help her to find a job and apartment in the states so she can be close to the children. BUT everything he is saying and doing the german government is using it against him... now they will give his ex full determination of stay so she can legally go back to the country where my boyfriend just spent a fortune to get them out. she was always the main caretaker due to his military career?! what a f* BS... it just makes me sick.. I always keep telling him to keep fighting and one day justice will be made... god has a plan and he want you to fight it for all the great fathers out there-
it makes me sick to see a mother trying everything possible to keep the father away from his children.. These women should be glad (even though their marriage or relationship didn't work out) that her kids father actually cares for the children!!!!!

god bless all the great fathers out there and all the mothers who appreciate and respect the fathers love for their children.

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Keep fighting the good fight
by: Anonymous

good fathers out there you must have rely on your faith in God that good will prevail over evil, God prepared me for my recent court hearing for joint legal custody, child support and visitation (which I did not have a lawyer for), see the courts are biased towards the mother or primary custodian of the child and because of that it is a difficult battle but when the Lord gives you insight into their baseless arguments they try against you because the judge wants to believe the mother you must be prepared with your evidence to the contrary. My daughter's mother tried to eliminate my bi-weekly visitation by saying that I was inconsistent, I produced receipts of tolls, hotels and gas from Oct 2010 - Feb. 2012 (since I live 6 hrs away) and proved that I was consistent with my visits. She tried to deny my joint legal rights which would remove my ability to be involved with my daughter's education, medical emergencies and major decisions in her life, I showed emails where I was marginalized and told I had no say in these matters (even though it hurt me dearly at the time to receive these emails from her mother, my faith in God showed me that this evil behavior would be found unjust when I went to court if I continue to be kind and just try to be a father by attempting to have a cordial parenting relationship). And the Lord reduced my child support due to the fact that my daughter's mother sent my daughter to private school after pre-k and I had emails proving she did told me I would not be a part of the decision. God is good even though you may have to fight through many obstacles please do not give up, be like Jesus and turn the other cheek for the sake of your child they will know who put them first when they get older and have more wisdom. And lastly listen to God I did not want to have to keep all these receipts every time I drive on the road, I did not want to drive in snowstorms, rainstorms, give up my personal opportunities to do things to drive 6 hrs to see my daughter. At the end of the day, God gave me discernment to know that I had to continue with his plan but also ensure I collected all my information for the time he would give me the glory. I love my daughter and sometimes mother's that you are no longer with think that if you don't love them then you must not love your child. Please mother's do not use your children as pawns in your game to penalize, aggravate or marginalize their father's because it is impossible to do with God on our side and eventually the child will realize where the negativity originates from

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hurting the military father
by: 2nd Wife

My husband was served divorce papers while in Iraq. He was lied to by his ex so that he would sign them, he has since discovered that she had stopped paying his bills and moved another man in their home (with his children). we got married a year later and I told him how wrong the whole thing was, and I spent days, weeks and even months trying to find a lawyer who would take my husbands case. Child support is automatically taken from his check each month, and ever since she was served with papers taking her to court, she has tried every way possible to drive a wedge between him and his children. He PCSed more than 4 hours away and refuses to meet half way, and since he pays so much in child support, cannot afford the gas to drive that far twice a weekend to pick them up, let alone the time spent in the car for the kids. The relationship between him and the kids has become increasingly strained because she insists on causing friction when they are in his care. Now he waits while the lawyers are supposed to be working this out...yet he still hasn't been able to see the kids since Christmas (when she called the police because she didn't get her way) He has decided to file for custody but don't know what the State of Georgia will do regarding fathers rights. I keep praying that this will someday get worked out, and the kids can live with him.

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wierdo soldier
by: deadbeat soldier

It is horrible the treatment my daughter has endured from her father in the last six years!How can a person be allowed to be called army strong when there not even man enough to give his daughter a phone call when deployed or even stationed in Texas!When he returns my daughter is so estranged from him she does not want to see him or spend any time with him he forces her.
He recently violated our court order i am taking him for sole custody of my beautiful daughter.
I am no longer going to deal with his neglect.My heart breaks for my daughter.He recently came home with alopecia due to stress had visitation with my child,a few days later she ended up in the hospital,severe pneumonia,during her stay her request was to return home with me she asked everyday of her four day stay in the hospital.
I had to leave for a while to tend to my child who was home with my mother.When i returned he had discharged her and told me i was not getting her back over the phone,i thought i would die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She was still very ill with her 02 at 89%.If there is a god i will get sole custody of my child before he has the chance to hurt her again!!!!!!!!!!!

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mothers story of childs father in army
by: Anonymous

Here is a comment from a Mother on the other side of the picture: my daughters father went into the army last may and has not been in her life since day one. He visited once a month and never asked how she was doing since she was born. when he went into the army, one of his friends told me that he went in to "sneak away" thinking he would be out of sight and out of mind so i would leave him alone. and thought that after laying low for 3 years, he wouldnt ever have to pay child support. of course i filed for child support. he started paying last month, and the first thing he did was complain and is now trying to take me back to court to get his child support lowered. (he has NEVER helped pay for one thing in my 1 & 1/2 year old daughters life.) he has never shown any interest in getting to know her....and now he is trying to get visitation and trying to get her over night only because itll lower child support. she doesnt even know who he is. it isnt right for a complete stranger to have any right to a child whether it is his or not. it was his choice to go into armed forces and leave his child behind. His mother is a night mare and cant understand why i dont have three days a week to hang out with her (i am in school full time, have a full time job, and a part time job-raising this baby on my own)...im lucky if i find one day every other month to see a friend...she thinks that i am the most terrible woman on earth. but doesnt see that i am trying so hard to raise a baby on my own. i have asked and asked and asked for help from her and her son and they both refused since day one. i think i have a reason to be bitter towards them both. some dads really do care about their children, and may god bless you for doing the right thing.

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Keep praying and fighting the good fight
by: Anonymous

I am going through a similar scenario and I will fight this battle because it is not one of this world it is a spritual warfare against the evil decree Satan has put into the minds of the courts and revengeful ex's to break apart the natural love a father has for their child. See the world doesnt want our children to grow up well-rounded and with a focus on the Lord because the father is the beginning of this relationship not to say a woman cant give the same wisdom but it takes a loving woman who is a child of God and puts their child best interests first and foremost and one being a great relationship with the father even if they are not together. I have been travelling from north jersey to virginia (6 hrs.) of every other weekend for 6 yrs because of one reason I love my daughter unconditionally. I have blamed her in the past and everyone else I can lay blame upon, it is not anyone's fault. I have two weeks in the summer thats it, I pay $800 in child support per month I only see my child one day on the weekend and pay the gas, tolls and hotel fees in addition to child support. Trust me it has been a great sacrifice but one that will not be hor naught, the Lord knows my and your works he will release the evil bondage these woman place upon their children but we must have faith, pray for their lost souls and understand that we are the soldiers in God's army. We are on the front lines and sometimes we do feel the direct blows and question our allegiance to the greater cause, but do it because I realize I am not alone and I am going to fight along with my brother in Christ and good fathers becasue only us know the hurt and pain that comes with not being able to live out the most awesome responsbility God has given us. See we are the fathers on this earth, but trust God is the father our children have when we are not around so rest assure God will deliver us and our children if we place our burdens on him because he is the only one capable of correcting these situations. God speed I may not get my child this Thanksgiving because of her mother ultimatums and unreasonable demands for me to get her but I will be there to try and my daughter will know just as your kids will know that their daddy loved them and when they have the ability to choose between good and evil, GOOD WILL ALWAYS PREVAIL.

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Awful baby mommas
by: Anonymous

I feel so sorry for the Navy dad who is going through so much trouble with his son's mother just because she is a winch. My granddaughter's mother is THE SAME EXACT WAY BUT WORSE!!!!!!! My son unfortunately got the most evil woman in America pregnant and I hate their whole situation. This is my first time being a grandmother and my sons' daughters' mom has made this experience a living hell!!!! I mean she has manipulated my son and the legal system to prevent that baby from being around me just because she and I do not like one another. She has lied beyond belief in front of judges to make it seem like she is the innocent one and we are the bad ones. She has committed EVERY devilish, manipulative, deceitful act known to man to keep the control over my grandbaby and my son and I am so lost as to how to have her stopped legally!!!!!! I do not understand why good men get involved with awful terrible women and the good men/dads are always the ones who get kicked in the teeth behind what the women do or don't do. I don't get it either but I pray to you soldier that your situation gets better for you because God will step in and your son's mother will get exactly what is coming to her one day. What goes around comes around. God bless you.

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Deployed member parental rights
by: Anonymous

Military Parent Equal Protection Act

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Winning the Baby Momma Drama Dilemma
by: Leopole McLaughlin

This was a very powerful story. I really want to help. I have written a book called, "Winning the Baby Momma Drama Dilemma," which deals with issues like this. This book helps fathers get an upper hand when dealing with their rights. I am also starting a grassroots organization which will lobby for greater father's rights and lobby to have mother jailed for violating the visitation. Please find me on Facebook.
Leopole Astonelli McLaughlin, III

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FATHERS IN THE MILITARY
by: Anonymous

MY SON DEPLOYED AND NOT ONLY DID HIS WIFE FILE DIVORCE, BUT ALSO, TOOK CUSTODY OF THE CHILDREN, I CANT BELIEVE HOW THE SYSTEM WORKS SO NEGATIVELY. MY GRANDSON LOVES HIS FATHER, AND CRIES FOR HIM ALL THE TIME, AND THE MOM, TELLS HIM HE IS NOT GOING TO GO LIVE WITH HIM WHEN HE GETS OUT OF THE MILITARY. I SAY, IM SORRY THAT YOU CAN GO INTO THE WAR ZONES AND KEEP THEIR BUTTS SAFE, BUT YOU CANT BE WITH YOUR CHILDREN? IS AWFUL. KEEP FIGHTING FOR THEM. WHEN YOU GET OUT OF THE SERVICE, KEEP OUR COURTS BUSY....GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL. I HAVE TWO SONS IN THE MILITARY AND DEPLOYED, ONE OF WHICH BLOWN UP BY AN IED....WHAT THE WORLD IS COMING TO, IS A SIGHT TO SEE SOON ONE DAY....

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Fake Fathers. Only in it for hurting the X wife and have no interest in the welfare of the children.
by: Anonymous

I know of a man (that is if you could call him a man.) Who stayed away from work so that the law would determine the minimum child support. Gets money and support from his Mother and girlfriend.
Volunteered to be deployed, according to his Mother, to repay her some of the money she spent.
He had no interest to even tell his children the day he was leaving. Had very meager contact with his children while he was gone and most of his contacts were complaints about his X or boasting about the danger he is in and how he is dodging bullets and hand grenades. When he went on his R&R he chose to take his girlfriend on a 2 week trip instead of seeing his children. When he came home he saw his girlfriend first and about a week later he contacted his X that he wants to pick up the children. During the year he was gone, he did not share in the children's school expenses, medical expenses, extra school uniforms or anything. Since he has been back, he has not attended any of the children's activities and when he has them he tells the how bad their mother is and degrades the meager surroundings that she is able to provide to her children through working 3 jobs. Now he declared that because he was deployed by the military he now can have the children for 160+ days of lost visitation days. Isn't this absurd? All he wants to accomplish is to make sure his meager child support for 3 children ($620) should stop and hoping to disrupt the children's lives by asking for a 7/7 agreement.

I will let you know how the wonderful Louisiana law will look at the horror stories the court will have to listen to to make a decision in the "best interest of the children".

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PLEASE HELP I NEED ADVICE
by: Anonymous

I need some advice me and my soon to be ex are almost to the point of fighting over our son. He hasnt tried to come to Texas where we live in a year and a half and now my son doesnt know who he is anymore. My husband wants him to spend a year with him in Florida. I think this will be very traumatic because it will be like him going to stay with a stranger with me no where around. He says that is the way everyone does it in the navy a year with one parent then a year with the other. I have no idea if this is true. I have no problem with him seeing our son just not for that long and especially since he has no clue who his dad is. He also says if i dont agree he will get a court order. PLEASE HELP... VERY SCARED

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Child Custody/ Visitation (Armed Forces)
by: Anonymous

My husband is an Active duty Marine, we are currently on the same boat as some of you, for those who live in California I advise you to check out the Family Law Codes 3046 and 3047 it states that visitation rights and legal custody can not be changed nor petitioned to be changed by the custodial parent due to deployments. It also has alot more regarding those serving and able to transfer your visitations to your current spouse oir you parents , meaning the grandparents of the child or other family membe while you are deployed. I found this codes and has been a great help to our case.

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Child Custody/ Visitation (Armed Forces)
by: Anonymous

My husband is an Active duty Marine, we are currently on the same boat as some of you, for those who live in California I advise you to check out the Family Law Codes 3046 and 3047 it states that visitation rights and legal custody can not be changed nor petitioned to be changed by the custodial parent due to deployments. It also has alot more regarding those serving and able to transfer your visitations to your current spouse oir you parents , meaning the grandparents of the child or other family membe while you are deployed. I found this codes and has been a great help to our case.

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To Whom it may concern
by: Anonymous

Well, I personally think it should not be a gender basis. Children have the right to know both parents who love, encourage, and want what is best for their children. I do not believe women get treated any different in court if not worse. I can speak for myself. I believe stop being selfish and take care of the children first.

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about child support
by: Anonymous

They do get bah for the guy who said they don't.. I have the whole paper work explaining it all. What ever bah is for the area they are in is what they get .. tnats how I had it explained to me when I had to go and get the info.. and I really am sorry this is happenin to all you,, and also I understand tnere are two sides to the story.. but thank you all for what you do for our country and hopefully things get better sooon!

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Women do get off easier then men
by: J.

Women get treated like the golden child in the court system, in civil or criminal courts. I'm currently majoring in Criminal Justice, and from what I've heard off and read, women do get their way more often then men do. I'm do not have a one sided mind. I'm just stating facts here. The chances that this guy is not getting his chance to see the kid is very likely. Even though he has the right to see the kid. The parent with custody has the power to slam the door on the other parents face whenever he or she wants, and I agee this not fair. That is why most men have custody battles because the women refuse to allow their kid's fauther to see their kid. Thats sad. In some circumstances women have legitiment reasons. But in some cases they don't. Whoever wrote this thread, you need to hire an attorney that specializes in cases such as this. They are out there. They can win over custody for you.

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husbands in the same spot
by: Anonymous

my husband is in the same situation he is in the military and we are fighting right now for visitation... there needs to be clause in there for military because of deployments.


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funny
by: Anonymous

Funny no one questions the father who only talks about him self and every thing he does boo hoo. She is the one raising this child not him and who knows her reasons I would love to hear her story. Its the best interest of the child a judge usually considers. They have worked in many cases usually and need evidence to give sole custody its not easy to get sole custody.
I can speak on this because I am a mother to a 4 month old with a miltary father who sounds so much like this guy and many of you others but the truth is another so remember there are always two sides to the story, and to the person who burned his ex's car I can see why she left your violent ass.

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COMMENT
by: Anonymous

I feel for you, I am going through the same thing and I went to the 60 minute website as well. This is ridiculous that we fathers that are serving go through this. I love my kids and my ex has done nothing but keep my kids from me. I HAVE RIGHTS and they should be enforced.

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...did it
by: Anonymous

I went to the 60 Minutes website and made a suggestion for doing a story on this! Thanks for the suggestion!

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blow-it-up in the media
by: Anonymous

Write to 60 Minutes or Dateline...EVERYONE! See if we can get them to do a story on this. The very people who are serving their country for the rights and freedoms of everyone are having their own rights stripped away. It is not ethical! It is not compassionate! It is outrageous and sick! Men and women are being used as throw away government tools, not humans. Get the story exposed and create a coalition to pressure the government. If these stories get exposed and recruitment and retention is jeopardized, maybe someone will start to listen.

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stop playing nice, we have tried that, lets get involved in the law.
by: Anonymous

when my ex didnt let me see my child, i burned her new car with gas and emptied her bank accounts to offshore accounts then paid it back in child support. now i get her 12 days a month and alternating holidays and 10 days for a vacation every year. if you continue to stand by and play nice you might as well get out of the childs life. you are only messing it up more. i tried the court system and playing nice as well as recording her abusive calls and actions. no one cares, trust me, the judge and lawyers enjoy spending your money though. we either need to get together and get lawmakers in the fight or stop complaining. I would be down for organizing a march.

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Same here...kind of.
by: Anonymous

Same here, Army; stationed overseas twice in 8 years and deployed once. Have seen my son maybe 6 times. Visitation is in Maryland only, so it's not possible to visit when it is "best" for the mother or on any regular basis and schedule. When I'm there the mother has me pick him up from school and take him to some activity where he is NOT actually "with" me...take him for a burger and bring him back to her. That's IT!!! Clear across the country or the world to be a taxi for what SHE wants our son to do. This whole thing is BS and the military should provide protection to the rights of service members so that visitation, in the service members state/country of residence...in the service members own home and joint custody is a GIVEN (just like ex's getting half our retirement is a "given") EXCEPT in cases of proven child abuse. Peroid!
To the "mothers" who are saying it is not their responsibility to help the "father", Maybe it's not, but it IS bad parenting to allow your child to grow up thinking their fathers don't care because they cannot make "your" schedule and you shouldn't "have to live around them". Parents who do not HELP make the child's relationship with the other parent better, if for nothing else than the child's emotional well-being, sicken me. The most important thing in these cases are the children. That includes their feelings of being loved and being wanted. To let your child feel abandoned because you want to "live your life on your time" well, whatever. These men and women are not being "bad parents" because they don't (or friggin' CAN'T! I'm indef.) get out of the service and find a new career in your town of choice and buy a home down the block! Which is what my ex told my son I would have done if I "really loved him", and not he won't even speak to me!!!! Not for you to give up a thing, just for your ex to give up everything they have/are/do...for YOUR convenience. I'm sure the kid's will find a good shrink in the future...after a few dozen failed relationships due to emotional insecurity.

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I feel for you
by: Anonymous

Hello my ex was in the navy and we arranged for me to drive half way and him to do the same. it worked for awhile and then are daughter woul fly to virgina i live in ny. I feel for you maybe if possible take her back to court to redo the visitation and have her have to drive part of the way. You dont have to come here for court they can do it over the phone because you are in the military well. I wish you all the luck and god bless you and all of you fighting for are country.

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Fatherless America
by: Anonymous

I and my ex has equal shared custody w/ no child support , the mother has been exposed to doing meth and has disappeared multiple times without my knowledge. The kansas city drug courts took my daugther and placed with the ex husbands aunt and garnished my 65% wages. I've been drug tested 5 times and homestudied numberous times. Lived in the same home for 18 years. Even though I have done no wrong they will milk fathers at every opprtunity of there children and income.

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Police wont report
by: Anonymous

Cops will not file a report if the mother say's she is taking the little one to the ER room or the Dr's We have tried that. We even tried different cops, same result. Then when asked to produce proof of DR visits or ER room documents for the so called illness, nothign could be produced, there for she turned around and called him a liar, which the judge got more pissed at him.

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Veteran Mother custody rights violated
by: Anonymous

I am going through the same thing, and I am a Mother who has deployed through the CAARNG to Afghanistan. Also when I was in country court was supposed to be continued until I got back, but his lawer put a temporary custody into a Permanent custody without legal representation for myself! The judge has asked me several times, and the mediator if I was going to deploy again. This is against the law to ask this as it is my civil duty. I am still in the Guard, I don't do drugs, I have a nice home and am in the same neighborhood as their school and their dad to make it easier for the kids. I am still fighting, though it is hard, I also am paying 600 p/m in CS and struggling. If I would of known I would be judged for serving my country 11 yrs ago, I would not have joined. I am also a veteran of the Marine Corps 6 yrs! No Respect I tell you!

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Situation
by: Anonymous

I have sole physical custody of the child and joint legal with the father of my child. He only sees him the third and fourth Satuday until he can comply with his visitation. If he can't make it those days he has to arrange with me when he can make up his time during the week. He only lives 1 hour 1/2 away and can't even make the visitations on Saturday. The court arranged them on those days since they noticed he alternated between the first and second Saturday of the month with the military. Now he can't even make the visitation on the third and fourth Saturday. I know everyone's situation is different but like the court stated I don't have to live my life or time around his life based on his schedule and it feels like I do. Having to make up time during the week is just to much as it takes away from the routine of my son. I really think he is playing with me and trying to show the court that I don't let him see him when in fact I am trying to arrange the days so he can make up his time. Just because he is available only certain days does not mean those are open to visitation. He doesn't believe that my son is in school. I gave him the name of the school but yet he feels like I am not providing the information. I mean come on he is not illeterate and how hard is it to look up the information on the internet and or call the school to find out the name of the teacher. To top it off he is doing this while I am work. We are going back to court in January but my thing is if you can't make your visitations because of your military what fault do I have? The court purposely arranges dates to avoid problems and so that you can make your plans around them. That doesn't necesarrily happen when the other wants to take you to court for every little thing. The courts don't really look at what you have to say about the other parent. That is just another way of loosing your case. They look at what is convenient for the child and having a parent come in and out of childs life is not good. They will look at it as the military parent having an unstable life. It is sad but that is just the plain truth. I am not trying to keep my son away from his father but when he keeps making up excuses on why he can't come military, too far, school and thus far; then there is a problem.I am not unstanble parent I have my Masters a job and home. That is all the courts will look at. If you are mentally unstable, drug user esc. now that is a different situation. Every state is different but if the femail is not an unfit parent you will get Sole physical custody and joint legal.In some cases you get 50/50 if you live in the same town and or come out of a marital relationship. Life would be much simpler if he just showed up when he is suppose to and do his part.

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GRR!!
by: Anonymous

My husband is in the Army and having the same problem with his exwife. The last time we saw my step-son was over a year ago. We were supposed to have him for the whole two weeks that we were in New Jersey visiting, but when we got there she said that we could only have him on the weekends. So instead of making a big deal out of it and not getting to see him at all, we went along with it. The first weekend, my husband went to pick him up early in the morning and when he got there, she wouldn't let him leave with his son until after he had spent all freaking day shopping with her and her mother. He didn't get home until after 2000. And then he had to have his son home by 1800 the following day. During the time we had my step-son, we took him to the beach and my husband's grandmother took a picture of the three of us together. I loved the picture and put it up on our myspace. The following weekend when my husband went to get his son again, she wouldn't let him have him because of the picture. So we only got to see the child for a little over 24 hours after not seeing him for a year because my husband was deployed and we were stationed in Germany. We were also suppsed to have him for two weeks this summer, but she refused to let him fly out here to Colorado with my mother-in-law. She was fine with it up until the day before he was supposed to leave. I get EXTREMELY upset when she plays games like that and then gets all pissy because she doesn't want her son to grow up without a father!!! And I get frustrated because there's nothing we can do. Our military put themselves in danger for our country, but they can't get custody rights of their own children!! Things DESPERATELY need to change!!

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police reports
by: Helen

My brother had the same problem. All you have to do is go pick up your child. If the the ex refuses to answer the door call the police and make a police report. After ten police reports my brother requested a court hearing for vioaltion of a court order, a divorce stating visitation rights is a court order that all parties must comply. When the judge saw the polcice reports he had my brother's "EX" handcuffed and gave thrown in jail Boy was she crying bucket loads of tears!!! (My brother's lawyer asked she be released that day) WHAT A VICTORY to see that witch handcuffed in front of everyone! She NEVER denied my brother his visitation rights again. So go get your kids. If they are not there call the police and make a report! Most of the time the sight of a police officer making a report is enough of a "wake up call" to crazy ex-wives to allow visitation. Good Luck

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U.S. ARMY DADDY
by: Anonymous

I understand your pain and and anger i have a son from a previous relationship.. I am always trying to call she never picks up... when i do get a hold of her its always i need more money i need more money. she lives with her parents doesnt like to work i dont think she has work for the past 3 years except she was in "Promations" at a strip club for a few months. Found out she was arrested when i got back from Iraq in 09 by that time it was too late because i was on the way to Germany and now the other day i had found out she is back in jail on a VOP so she has 3 felonies... I cant get a hold of my son what so ever... now im looking for a lawyer.

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air force father
by: Anonymous

My ex regularly denies me visitation with my children. She'll even give me a date and time I can see them, then shortly before that time, she'll change her mind. This is terrible for my kids!

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military wife
by: Anonymous

DEAR COLLEAGUE LETTER
DCL-10-02
DATE: March 8, 2010
TO: ALL STATE AND TRIBAL IV-D DIRECTORS
RE: Obtaining Additional Data Elements from DoD
Dear Colleague:
The federal Office of Child Support Enforcement (OCSE) is exploring the possibility of acquiring detailed entitlement and allotment data from the Department of Defense (DoD) in response to requests from state child support enforcement (CSE) agencies. The purpose of this letter is to bring you up to date on our progress, and to let you know that we will be contacting you to discuss the entitlements your state uses to establish or modify child support orders for DoD service members.
The QW data now submitted by DoD to the National Directory of New Hires (NDNH) contains the service member?s gross base pay, including all entitlements in a quarterly lump sum. This QW data does not provide sufficient information to those state CSE agencies that consider only certain entitlements to establish or modify a child support order since the individual entitlement amounts are unknown.
When a military service member does not provide a leave and earnings statement or appear for an appointment, some state CSE agencies use the QW data to set a default order or may rely on other means to obtain income information including subpoenas or legal proceedings. These methods delay and/or set unrealistic child support orders that can adversely impact service members, custodial parents and children. The DoD understands that providing the detailed entitlement information to state CSE agencies can positively affect its service members that pay child support as well as the custodial parents that receive it.

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same boat here
by: Anonymous

3000 characters is not enough to tell my story. Just make sure you get involved with a fathers rights group and write every politician you can. Government loves to take the military guys money and hand it over to the mother so they dont have to pay her welfare. Look up the stats with kids that dont have fathers in there home!!!

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disposable income only for military
by: navy wife

I don't know why, the jag no lawyers know about the dod volume 7. That says child support is only to go by your disposable income only.( not your bah) If you write dfas they will send you a reply that says the same. the thing is child support filled out the garnishment papers sayin they followed all federal and state laws when it comes to the garnishment ,"But while at court they are telling you they can do what ever they want". And when you tell the dumb jag they said they can do what ever they want.How is that legal. pls fellow military family ask for your garnishment paper work read it. And see the laws child support said they follow but did not.what can we do about it. ps. sorry if I spell any thing wrong.

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Even the Army is in the same boat
by: Terry

Well, we are all in the same proverbial boat. I am in a situation were my Ex-wife is bilking me for massive cash but this is the not so funny part. I am an Army Reservist, just out of an ASI. My ex filed two income deduction orders on my civilian job and the military, that?s right I am paying twice for child support but to add salt to the wound the Army DACS has messed up my order and she receives the full amount every two weeks. That?s right $625.00 from the civilian side, and $1250.00 from the military. JAG which serves no use to good soldiers said we can?t help. SO WHY ARE THEY THERE? I have a deduction order that states if I am in arrearage that all pay will go to the child. So for the next two months I will not receive any pay from any source!!!!!! I can file a civil motion but it cost $400.00 and takes three months but guess what, no money in no money out. Then the parental alienation started while I was gone. I bought airline tickets to have my daughter flown up to me and the ex refused. I got to talk to my daughter five times while I was in school and my daughter cried every time I had to hang up because she missed me so much. My ex said, my little girl need to go to a physiologist and I was going to pay for it because of the emotional distress that it caused. WHAT?? You got to be kidding the distress was from not having frequent and liberal calls to me and not allowing me to see her. JAG said nope we can?t help you again... You got to be kidding what use is JAG... I?ll tell you absolutely nothing to a good solider. I am now faced with a Year MOB a 1000 miles away in July a nine year old Daughter that will be absolutely destroyed because I wont be able to see her and paying $1250 a month because the DACS can read.

Unhappily Reservist Terry

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Help is out there( fathers advocacy)
by: Anonymous

My husband is in the Army and he has joint legal costody and no rights because she is a violater of the divorse. How shameful. We live 3 states away and get our every other weekend and 6 weeks in the summer, but it has to be within the state she live in. We are in the process of fixing that with the fathers advocacy. I hope it works. they will fine her 500 dollars that must be payed to us everytime she doesnt comply with the visitation. You people should look into that. We all are in stressful situations, but there is help. Its 98 dollars to sign up with the one I found. Its sure is better than a lawyer fee. Im so upset about all this. She allows him visitation only if she is there and thats not what the divorse says, so Im hoping by next summer we can finally bring them to our house.

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Always scared
by: shanteia knox

For years my husband has not been allowed to see or talk to his daughter we have a court order but to no avail will the state of missisippi enforce the act or try to check on it. Than when we tried to call she has cut the phone off completely and we have never heard from her since. It is undeniable the worst times of my life I worry if my stepdaughter is in a clean enviornment or if she is even in school. What is the point of having military legal, and lawyers if they cannot enforce the visitation rights. I mean, how can you ask them to serve when you are not serving them? What kind of an example are you setting for girls? It's okay to use your child as a paycheck as long as the soldier is still fighting our wars.

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Militay rights for fathers
by: Anonymous

My son is also having the same issue with his current wife who filed for divorce out of the blue 2 weeks before he left for Iraq. After a year away from his son, he gets to come home for 2 weeks before he goes back. Since he did not have time to get a divorce before he deployed, and or sign the papers she divorce papers she sent to him 2 days before hos deployment, she wil not allow him to see his son while he is home for two weeks, but she didnt have a problem spending the $900 a month my son sent her each month.

This is just not right !!!!

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MY son has the same problem
by: Anonymous

My son has the same problem with the mother of his son, he is in the Air Force. The mother will not let him see his Son even though the court awarded him visitation rights every other weekend. The law seems to have double standards which needs to be addressed. They need to change the law and protect fathers who support and love their children.It seems to me the law as it stands is very much outdated and ne3eds to be updated to give fathers better and more just rights.

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Your not alone Hon.
by: Anonymous

My husband, serving the US army goes threw the same thing. He is ordered to pay more then 900 a month for a child he can't see. She has used methods of lying to put his job in jepordy. She uses her family to swear on her lies. Now she is dong it to another man. it's like every 4 years she does this to men. What is he to do? he had back off. If he tried to fight, the little girl took a back seat to all her hate and the end result, the little girl got lied to hurt, and pushed away. He couldn't bare to see his daughter go threw all that so he had to let go in fear of his life (which she vowl to ruin) and the daughter growing up in world of lies. Where is the system when HE needs it?? The system fails GOOD fathers! Something needs to be done!

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