MONEY HUNGRY MOTHERS

by JOSE
(NEW YORK)

I COULD PROBABLY RIGHT A BOOK ON HOW SCREWED UP THE TEXAS CHILD SUPPORT SYSTEM IS BUT FOR NOW I WILL KEEP IT SHORT AND SWEET. I HAVE ALWAYS PAID CHILD SUPPORT FOR MY TWO GIRLS($800 A MONTH) PLUS OTHER THINGS ON TOP OF THAT, I LIVE IN NEW YORK AND GOT A CONTRACTED JOB WHICH WAS PAYING MORE THEN THE USUAL WAGE. WELL THE EX GOT WIND OF IT AND WENT TO CHILD SUPPORT ABOUT AN INCREASE. MIND YOU I WAS ALREADY OVERPAYING AS IT WAS BUT IT WAS WHAT WE AGREED ON. I HAD TO FLY DOWN TO TEXAS FOR A HEARING BECAUSE SHE WOULDN'T COME TO ANY AGREEMENT HER LAWYER HAD HER HOPES UP ON GETTING $1600 A MONTH WHICH WAS IMPOSSIBLE THE MOST SHE WAS TO GET WAS $1000 WHICH WAS WHAT I WAS OFFERING. SO I'M THEIR FOR THE HEARING AND I EXPLAIN THIS IS A TEMPORARY JOB I HAVE ON A 2 YEAR CONTRACT AND THAT THE PAYSTUBS YOU ARE GOING BY ARE BASED ON THE TRAINING I HAD TO UNDER GO WHICH HAD ALOT OF OVERTIME. THE OVERTIME IS NO LONGER THEIR I REALLY SHOULD BE PAYING ABOUT $1000. WELL THE JUDGE BASICALLY SAID WHATEVER AND BASED IT ON THE OVERTIME WHICH STILL CAME TO $1400. NOW 2 YEARS PASS BUY I GET LAID OFF SO I PUT IN TO GET CHILD SUPPORT LOWERED, THEY ASSIGN ME A HEARING DATE IN ABOUT 2 MONTHS LATER. SO IM STILL OBLIGATED TO PAY THIS RIDICULOUS AMOUNT WITH A $425 CHECK FROM UNEMPLOYMENT. THE HEARING DATE COMES THE MOTHER NEVER SHOWS UP SO THEY GIVE HER A CALL TO SEE WHATS GOING ON AND THE NEXT THING IM HEARING IS WELL WE CAN'T DO ANYTHING BECAUSE SHE WANTS THE CASE TRANSFERED TO HOUSTON. I WAS LIKE ARE YOU KIDDING ME WHY NOT LOWER IT FIRST THEN TRANSFER IT YOU GUYS ARE KILLING ME WITH CHILD SUPPORT. MIND YOU SHE GOT HER WAY AND IT IS NOW SEVEN MONTHS LATER AND I HAVE YET TO GET MY CHILD SUPPORT REDUCED IT JUST BARELY GOT TO HARRIS COUNTY ABOUT FOUR WEEKS AGO AND THEIR TAKING FOREVER JUST TO ASSIGN A HEARING DATE THE WHOLE SYSTEM IS SCREWED UP. THE SYSTEM IS GEARED TOWARDS THE MOTHER AND WHEN YOU HAVE A FATHER TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING AND THE SYSTEM JUST BEATS HIM DOWN OVER AND OVER IT'S NO WONDER WHY SOME FATHERS GIVE. BUT MY DAUGTHERS ARE 15 NOW AND THEY ARE SLOWING STARTING TO SEE THEIR MOTHERS TRUE COLORS. MY EX GETS NEW YORK MONEY TO LIVE IN TEXAS WHERE THE COST OF LIVING IS NOTHING AND TELLS MY DAUGHTERS SHE HAS NO MONEY WHATS UP WITH THAT.

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split custody
by: Anonymous

ok. see if someone can help me out on this one!
i am a father of 2. i have custody of my son and my ex has my daughter. i pay 400 a month cs. she pays nothing. i take my daughter every weekend so my ex has free time and goes and plays. she lives 5 mi from me and takes our son maybe 3 weekends a year. ex is recently remarried now and wants more money. both my ex and her new husband gross over 60k yr. plenty to raise one child. i have never missed a cs payment, but b/c she filed for food stamps (and got it!!!) they investigated as texas does, and started garnishing my wages from my paycheck.(i always just mail the check to the att. gen office) now here is my question, i heard a rumor that if you have split custody (i have one and she has one) that if she remarries, i may not be obligated to child support. any thuth to this? i am just tired of threating me she can get my child support raised with no problem.

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Excuse me
by: Anonymous

But I think that is very stupid and I cant believe that. How are they expecting you to pay such large amounts on even lower salary.

When I was a kid my dad never/hardly ever worked and when he did we only got $20 a month. And there was tow children. We worked it out that we could only afford a 50 cent cone from maccas a day.

He remarried and the kids that came with that marrage were adopted to my father. so then the payments were literally $4 a month. He may as well have not paid us anything.

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Wisconsin CS system is a joke also!
by: Anonymous

I am a custodial parent married to a NCP that pays huge amounts in support. I have seen the unfair system at work.
....First off the states get money from Federal for every dollar child support can collect. S there is the incentive for States to award such high amounts.
... Any NCP can pretty much guarantee that at one point in time they WILL fall into arrears. It is un unavoidable. They set child support on unearned income (overtime or bonuses that you have had in the past) Therefore when you no longer have your overtime you still pay the same amount.
....Even the woman should be able to pay her own way as far as rent, utilities ect...She is allowed to not work and collect welfare.
.....There are a lot of overstated child support orders out there that are in reality Alimony (maintenance) in the disguise of child support. Married, or just had a baby together they share income from the man to "upgrade" the CP's household giving her the castle and leaving the man in the shack.
....I have been able to get into court with in a month VS my husband puts in for court and it can take up to a year.
Sorry but Woman always say the Man should support the child, and yes they should but not to the point where they are broke by it. The woman should also contribute the same amount towards the child, did they not have to pay there own bills, rent before she got pregnant? If not, stop looking for a baby daddy to pay your way and stay off your back, or use birth control.
just saying.........

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You gotta see it from both sides
by: Anonymous

I'm sorry you are getting screwed like that. Sometimes the law isn't fair and not every mother asking for additional child support has good intentions. But on the other hand, if she is the primary parent she should recieve a decent amount. The same applies to the fathers who are the primary parents. Children are expensive and most of the time the court ordered child support amount is still not enough to cover half of the expenses. Food, clothing, school supplies, daycare, etc adds up quickly and I'm sorry but the minimum 200 dollar payments most men complain about paying doesnt cut it.

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UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by: Anonymous

I totally understand.. I have a boyfriend that pays way to much for child support. for one child he pays $600 a month and to top it off she doesnt even work so she uses the child support for herself more than for the child. plus she never wants to keep him. I swear the state of Tx needs to stop always thinking that a child is better with the mother than a father. Mothers are way more money hungrey then men most of the time. Plus the attorney generals need to look into both parents before they decide who the child needs to live with. why not give random drug test also because I know his own mother does drugs.

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MONEY HUNGRY MOTHERS
by: Anonymous

I am a dad to a wonderful 11 year old boy. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Me and the mother divorced when he was 2, since then i have always been in my sons life always provided for him in every way possible. The evil witch call the Texas AG'S Office and drags me into court. With no proof of any arrears Abbott and his infinite wisdom(HA) sticks me with $15,000 in back child support. They garnish my checks steal my tax refunds and even have locked me up for three weeks the day before I was to start a $21 an hour job, and then stands there and asks me why i don't have any money!! ARE YOU F'IN STUPID? This is deters prison is it not. I thought the feds deemed that illegal! I want to see the entire child support system dismantled and all the lawyers and judges working it dis barred and prosecuted for crimes against humanity. We need a united voice to stop the insanity going on in Texas. Being a good dad in Texas is the recipe for becoming a felon. BOTH HOUSEHOLDS INCOMES MUST BE APPLIED, THE AMOUNT OF TIME THE KIDS SPEND WITH EACH PARENT MUST BE APPLIED, NO PERSON SHOULD EVER EVER EVER BE PUT IN JAIL OVER MONEY IN THE NAME OF HIS OR HER CHILDREN. GREG ABBOTT SINCE WHEN DO YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO TELL ME WHATS BEST FOR MY KIDS? I will not be labeled a deadbeat because of this a@@ clown. It is TIME for change lets take our families back from the courts lets scream we will not be victimized by the child support system. !!!!!STOP THE ABBOTT VICTIMOLOGY NOW!!!!! DISBAR THE TEXAS ATTORNEY GENERAL AND ALL HIS FELLOW CHILD SUPPORT STAFF AND DE THROWN THE JUDGES!!! WE CAN WE MUST!!!!

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Not Alone
by: Anonymous

I can totally relate with all of you fathers out there, struggling to keep the ex's satisfied. I'm a proud single mother who never wanted anything from my daughters father, anyway this story is about my current husband. He supports my 16yr. has for 5 yrs.. At the time my daughter was 11 no problem, he has 3 kids now 16, 13, 10. For 4 years the middle daughter had to come live with us because she didn't agree with her mothers living arrangements, meaning she found out that her mother was sleeping with one of her fathers friends (some friend) come to find out they even worked together. She said she needed space so he gave her her space but ended up finding out the truth eventually. He's 24 she's 32, younger guy mentioned a breast enlargement so ran and talked her husband into using the income tax for it. Had it done and divorced very soon after to re-marry and have another baby, better life she has always wanted with this kid. Still bothers us for money. She has a 2 story home and 3 brand new cars, designer clothes, and the girls have everything they can possibly need, they are by far not hurting! but yet in still she insists harassing us. Why can't a Judge see all the ugliness she possesses on those girls on a daily, why isn't that important. Emotionally those girls need to get away from that family. I'm sure there are a lot of fathers out there that are just being treated like ATM machines instead of a human being.

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Money Hungry Mothers (UPDATE)
by: Jose

Well I finally got a court date to modify my child support over a year later. So she's been getting over paid this whole time and now when I ask about getting retro for all that time they tell me its not going to happen but if it was the other way around they would be all over me. What else should I of had expected. I'm just glad I only have 2 more years of this crap and child support is done with. Then i will be able to give support solely to my girls and get this their mother then tells my kids well you can go live with your father at that time. Amazing huh but what can you do when it seems that even the system is against you.

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ridiculous
by: Anonymous

if the atty gen can screw you they will. only the trash that calls herself a mother has rights the father who pays and does all right does not. you can go to jail for not paying but if she doesnt provide insurance that the same court order says she is supposed to the atty general will do nothing but tell you to hire an attorney that you cant afford because of all the d@#* money they are taking.

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I feel your pain!
by: I need free money!

I am in the same boat you are. I had the same thing happen to me when I went overseas. Texas child support laws are geared to help only the Mothers. She hasn't worked in over 15 years, living only on child support and doing "side jobs". Here I am wearing down working 50 hours plus some weeks just to survive, and thats only when the company lets us work over. I am having to pay more a month now just to keep the intrest on my back child support down. So being back home with an hourly job has me living pay check to pay check. It seems like there is no one out there that wants to help, unless it has a price! Like I have money for an attorney? How can I possibly afford anything? They have Fathers stuck! Only God knows the truth! Hang in there!

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frustrated
by: Anonymous

Two years ago my husband received a court order to have a paternity test for a child he never knew existed. turns out he is the biological father and the kid is 15 years old. how is that the mother never came around to get child support until now? what was she doing the past 15 years. my husband never got to know this child and now she wants money? it is all about money. there should be some limitation on filing for child support you can not go 15 years then decide you want to tell the father and then stick him for child support. i think she never came around the past 15 years because we really didn't have much we were struggling ourselves with two daughters. but the minute our lives got better she thought she could have a piece of it. then they based it on his last few pay checks and my husband was getting commission at the time, luckily for her she got him at a good time and now he pays a rediculous amount for a kid he never new existed and his income is not even that high but you need a lawyer just to get child support to listen to you as if we had extra money for that. now we struggle with our mortgage, car payments and living expenses and she bought a new car. must be nice. i think if you are pregnant and you decide all on your own to keep it a secret from the father then you made the choice to raise a child on your own. you can not change your mind later especially 15 years later. my husband and i were young when i became pregnant and i did not keep it a secret from him, he was the father and I expected for him to be there just as much as i would be so i don't know what her reasoning was for keeping it a secret. it is not like it would have been hard to find my husband he is a pretty stable guy, has always had a job and we have lived in the same house for over 10 years.

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i feel your pain..
by: Anonymous

My ex-wife requested an increase after I moved to Chicago. Once I rejected her offer for us to get back together, here comes the letter telling me from the agency telling me I had a hearing in two weeks. To make a long story short, I moved back to Texas 2 yrs later making almost half of my Chicago wages, and it took almost three months to get a hearing to lower my child support payments.
The office is in no hurry to accommodate the non-custodial parent and that isn't fair!!

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Why are Fathers looked down upon when it comes to child support
by: Anonymous

I agree with both statements above. Legislature needs to change to be equal. No matter what I do to do the right thing my ex still gets her way because the laws are geared towards the mother. The Laws seem to make every father the bad guy. Even though mothers are not required to show where the support goes. I am currently arguing that I had to move for a job and want my ex to meet me half way but she refuses to drive two hours, and wants me to drive 12 hours round trip to see my kids. Yet she can drive to an outlet mall 2 hours away.
There really needs to be changes to the current laws and make them equal for both Fathers and Mothers alike.

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Money Hungry M********
by: Anonymous

I am in the same situation, and part of the problem is judges on the bench are idiots.
It's a woman's world.

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money hungry
by: Anonymous

Sounds like your ex wife is a money hungry (Bleep)

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tell me about it
by: Anonymous

i even went to this fathers rights attorney once about custoday..paid them a 125 dollar consult for them to tell me i could get custody for 30,000 paid to attorneys....us attorneys and gov getting rich off us but is it helping the kids....WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE A FEDERAL LAW AND NOT STATE TO STATE....you are ruining fathers who try......and are making us really bitter having to live off nothing because you wont look at outdated laws

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Same situation
by: Anonymous

I am engaged to a NCP who has 3 children with his ex. He continued to pay her bills after they split for the children's sake, until she got engaged to someone else. Then he said he would pay half as the other man was living there. She then decided to move 6 hours away to live with her mother and live off of the system. Then she filed for child support,including back support. He has no problem paying and does, even though it is based off of an older,higher-paying job. but visitation on the one weekend a month is an issue, as it is a 12 hour roundtrip and she refuses to meet halfway as she doesn't have gas money. And then she tells the kids that Daddy doesn't love you and doesn't want to see you. (they are 3,6 and 8) He calls them everyday he's not with them. Of course, she still gets food stamps and other assistance. She refuses to work and has told me that she plans to go back to court to get more money as she's barely getting enough to make her car payment. But, she met a man 5 months ago that she happily drives an 18 hour roundtrip to see as soon as she gets her support,taking them out of school. We have the kids for the summer and she's basically moved to be with this man (to another state). So, if we can pay an attorney $1000.00 before she informs the State Attorney's office of her move, we can stop her from moving them. Why should this cost so much? I am so frustrated that she takes advantage this way. And I raised my child without financial assistance, (18 years old and will be paying for college expenses also) so I have been there. I just chose to work hard and take care of my child, not bleed the system and the man dry.

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