Mother not recieving payments

by Jenna Pound
(Upstate NY)

I know I am not a Dad but here is my story and I would like feedback... I was a young mother and the "father" never wanted anything to do with my child. A support order was placed at ONLY $47 per month... He couldn't even pay that. He quit his job and everyting to avoid the payments. It has been 9 years and he still hasn't paid or attempted to contact us. (We don't live that far away, we used to live 2 mins down the steet). Anyways... My son has no idea who he is and another man has raised him since he was 1 year old. My complication is I can't afford to raise him on my own financially and either can the man who has been raising him. I have filed modification orders and such but nothing has actually worked. (RETURN TO SENDER) is all I get when the papers are mailed out! I don't know where he lives either. SO MY QUESTION IS... am I a bad person for filing for child support even though I don't want him to get visitaion even if he for some reason changed his mind and wants to be a part of his life. I don't want to confuse my child and someday I will tell him about his biological father but now is not the time. I don't know what to do. I want my child to have as much as I can give him/her but I don't want a person like his bio father in his life either... DRUG ADDICT and whatever else he is into... That and I know there are good fathers out there. I know many of them who want to be in their childs lives but the mother wont let them. I however gave him plenty of chances and tried to even force him to be a father but it didn't work... ANYONE KNOW WHAT TO DO?

E-mail me with Subject: DO THIS MOM
Thanks

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Sep 28, 2011
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You can support a child too!
by: Anonymous

It's to bad that your son has to go from dad to dad. If his bio-father is so bad and you don't wnat him in your sons life,why would you want his money. Mothers all over the nation support thier children by getting a job instead of staying home and waiting for a free ticket. All I am saying is if you can write a letter for answers from strangers than you can fill out a job application and support your child all on your own. You said that your a young mom so get out and prove to yourself and your son that you can do it.

Sep 27, 2011
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get a job
by: Anonymous

If you don't want the father in your sons life than why do you need his money. You need to pick yourself up and stop expecting others to do it for you. there are plenty of single mothers out there that take care of there children themselfs. Forget about others paying your way and do it yourself. If you can sit down and write a letter than you can fill out a job application.

Aug 12, 2011
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No you aren't wrong or bad
by: Anonymous

No you aren't bad or wrong. Same situation here only I haven't filed on him because he said as long as I don't come after him for support then he won't mess with the kids head. He ended our relationship right after we found out about the baby. He said he was fine with us but didn't want a baby and wanted me to have an abortion. I said no way and he left. I got it in email where I asked him if he wanted to know when the baby was born,the gender,name or if he or his mother wanted to be there and he gave me a resounding no. He has never seen nor contacted us since that day 18 months ago. After the baby turned a year I did email to try to see if he wanted to see the baby and he finally answered my email after two tries and just said..I'm in a relationship don't contact me again. So I haven't. He nor his family has ever tried to have a relationship. So you see there are people with the same or similar story so keep your head up. And for those step mothers on here saying bad biomom,bad biomom well I can tell by reading a lot of them that of course they don't know the whole story. And yes I think if a "dad" makes the choice that he doesn't want to see a child period UNTIL he HAS to pay support then a mother and the courts should have the option to say no you made your choice...just because you have to pay now shouldn't change your mind or "suddenly" cause you to want to play dad of the year! Our children aren't for sale! It shouldn't be "well if I have to pay then I should get something for my purchase!" There is so much more to say but I will just close in saying God Bless and keep you. May you find peace for both you and your child.

Apr 11, 2011
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MEN ARE SPERM DONORS
by: TINA

You r not wrong i am in the same issue you r in my babys father is a straight looser .he was odered to pay support of 230.00 a month and ats like he cant .I give him time after time to see his daughter but he has every reason y he cant now we r goig to court for none payment and now he deided he wats to do an dna after 2 years old he eve siged the birth record.so thats makes him a looser your childs father is lucky your not doing like me writeing a bulltin board with his name and town stateing sperm donor beware dog in heat men sometimes deserve to be in jail for there sorry a** by the way the sperm donor ex child fathers of mine i stated about was a sprem name jonathan millsap for DAYTONA FLA,in case anyones nos him tell him to pay my chils money.

Jan 30, 2010
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READ ABOUT THIS!
by: Anonymous

Hey guess what! DONT LOOK MY NAME UP ON THE INTERNET! WHO DOES THAT ANYWAY! Am I a bad person for trying to help my kid out cause a scumbag decided that 8 years wasnt worth being a dad! WHAT A LOSER! Better off with out you! READ ABOUT THAT ON THE INTERNET! PATHETIC!!!!

Jan 30, 2010
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TAKE ANOTHER LOOK
by: Anonymous

You're not a bad person for wanting to do this.

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