by Tara Alexander
My experience has been one that is unjust. My son who is 21 has never received more than 220 a month and required insurance coverage since the age of two. I filed for support in 1999 when I saw verbally was not gone to work.
After the infant stage his father felt a child didn't need much in spite of the expense of childcare. My alternative was support court ordered and still not successful. Currently I am owed over 13,000 and recently was required to appear in court missing a day of work. Why because the absent father was utilizing his rights to appeal a 40% increase by the state to clear his rear amount. I became aware of this on the day of court where are my rights! Prior to this date my son saw his father and was denied a father son relationship because of this situation.
A relationship between father and son that has been on the rocks since my marriage in 1997.This supposable saint, citizen decided to stop paying his support on the grounds that I had a husband. And caused tension between my son and me until my son said my Daddy said you spend my money. First of all no child that I am aware of under the age of 16 has money unless they receive it by doing odd jobs of some sort. My son was not, nor did he at anytime work more than one job so his needs would be meet, or sacrifice his wants ,desires or dreams to ensure the best for him And neither did his absent parent.
The countless tension and emotional stress this absent parent by choice caused makes me sick to my stomach. You may be thinking you should have followed up. I did on several occasions I would receive court papers go and he would not show. I had to rely on Support kids in Texas to finally receive my child support again. I paid this agency to locate him because it was the principle of the matter not the money, besides what is the value of 220 and medical coverage which he did not keep on my son. When the child is wearing a size 10 in elementary school and still growing. I share all this because I fill I was failed by the system mainly because this man was in law enforcement majority of the time of this order. I was always told he could not be located.
I have always felt he had help with dodging and avoiding this court order. My son?s father worked for the Charlotte Police Dept and Sherriff Dept in Mecklenburg. After these positions we were told by him and family he no longer lived in Charlotte, supposible he lived in Greensboro, Rowan County and etc. with the lies. To our surprise during my son's senior year due to technology my son's girlfriend was contacted by a young man on facebook.He saw pictures of my son and replied that's my brother. I know strange not knowing about situation my son asked if his Dad had other children. My response of course! I don't know he proceeds to tell me why he asks. As it turns out he is married to this young man?s mother this is his stepfather.
This man was picking up someone else child up at the same school his son attended. My son saw him on several occasions and he would do his usually play with the mind and liem. I'm out of town or the best one yeah I was there checking on you. How low can you be? This once innocent child is know a twenty one year old man with so much potential and ability, but is filled with so many emotions and has a stagnated life because he continues to ask why! What did I do regardless of what I say? My son is upset and currently searches for peace, I pray daily and know he will overcome. The saddest thing of all is Monday March 22, 2010 this year my son came to court with me for support this man never spoke or recognized his son. Again how low can you go my son is innocent this man, Dad yeah right! Continues to pay support currently for his own negilance, but yet my son and I continue to suffer due to his ignorance and a failed system one that is not for the welfare of the child.
There is no way to erase the hurt and pain my son endured with the many lies and promises as he waited to be picked on the weekends, nor is their time to give thanks to my husband for not being a man that made a situation as this difficult he never made this man feel he was unwelcomed at our home neither did I.I understand my sons confusion for years his Dad's mother was just like our family until a couple of drafts from bank accounts were collected. My son is denied by Dad and Grandma know, if they want to be angry first look at self ,choices and by all means be angry at me not my son. I have never said negative things about this man to my son nor have I made him feel guilty for wanting to spend time with his Dad. The same respect was not given to me every chance he got my name through the mud. As I end the funny part of this story is this man lived about 10 minutes from where we lived during this whole ordeal. Mind boggling isn't it but the State of NC could not locate him.
I will continue to think some unethical things took place in my case it just does not add up.