Mr. Williams

I was in the military (still am) when my wife decided to take our daughter and move in with another man.. She then moved to Alabama while I was stationed in Virginia.. She filed for divorce in Alabama and like an idiot I agreed to her having full custody and me paying child support.. I was to have the normal visitation ( I was later told by the attorney that filed the Decree that the visitation was incorrect that I should have had the long distance visitation). My ex refused to allow me to see my daughter unless I came to her house and stayed there with the child and I could not have my summer visitation unless I took that amount of leave and stayed in Alabama. I went to see my daughter as much as I could.. I was not the best father that I should have been. I freely admit that.

Four years after my divorce I remarried. My new wife used to be really good friends with me and my ex. My ex had asked my wife to discuss adoption with me since she had remarried and had a child. My wife discussed this issue with me before we married, she then suggested that since she was good friends with my ex and had kept my daughter on numerous occasions that she would let my daughter come stay with her in Florida (military transfer).. My ex went ballistic and informed my current wife "if she ever did anything like that again, she would make her life a living hell".. My wife and I got pregnant and we were moving back to Virginia we sat down with my ex and her husband and talked about my visitation.. My ex agreed to let my daughter come to me... It never happened.. She was making good on her promise to make life a living hell. I finally contacted an attorney to find out what to do. He was told the story and said that if the adoption was still an option that would keep the child from being a pawn because my ex would go to jail before letting me see my child. I debated this for weeks and decided that adoption was the best option for numerous reason.

Today I am being called deadbeat, infidel, and lots more awful crap.. I go back home to Alabama and have people walk up to me and ask if SHE is my ex, when I reply yes they have spit at my feet or call me asshole to my face..

I can't win either way. My daughter is now 16 and believes every word she has been told by her mother. My daugher informed me she knew the truth cause her mama had told her everything. She was told that since I had another child I did not want her, that I HAD NEVER asked for vistitations. She then informed me that I HAD BEEN allowed visitation and that her mama had let her come to Virginia to stay with me. She and I tried to have a relationship about 18 months ago and when she told her mom, I was then informed that I and my two little girls could come to Alabama and stay with her and her mama at their house but my wife is never to set foot on their property.. I said no and then I was informed that I had to choose between my daughter there or my wife and two children. I realized then that no matter what i say or do it will never change.. I am tired of the drama and just want peace... She left me for another man, took my child to live with him but I am the deadbeat asshole...

What about mothers who go against the Final Divorce Decree? And the wifes and mothers who screw around and leave you for someone else, how do they come out smelling like roses?

The system here sucks and people really need to open their eyes. They need to realize there is two sides to every story and only the people directly involved know the whole truth and they need to stop judging people based soley on what they are told by one party.

Please leave your questions in the box below if you have any questions on child support. A professional lawyer will get back to you.

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Its the system
by: Anonymous

Mr. Williams,

Sorry about your luck and the situation the other parent put you in. I'm sure my story is far worse, but there doesn't seem to be a damn thing we can do about it. The problem is the child support system.

The fact is that the system nationwide lets them whore runs wild and make babies while holding the non-custodial parent responsible. Not once has any state system (that I know of) held the custodial parent (usually the woman) responsible for her actions. They can screw whoever they want, make babies and pin some unlucky guy as the father.

The reality is that those who create, manage, and enforce these child support laws all benefit from the non-custodial dollars through federal funding. They won't do anything to sell themselves short on that. Good luck trying to find a family law attorney with some sense of right and wrong to help you. They're part of the problem too.

One good thing is that your daugher is close to becoming of age. At least you won't be financially responsible for her any longer.

Your Ex
by: Anonymous

Sounds like your ex is a real bitch. Her way or no way.

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