Mr.Thomas

Mr.Thomas

by Thomas
(New Haven,CT.)

I'm married with 3 children; I made a mistake cheating on my wife; I had another child; I asked the girl to get an abortion, she said no; she had the baby and I ended up paying child support for the girl. I once paid $69.00 a week now she brought me back to court to have my child support increased to $90.00 because she no longer works. Now she has 3 different baby fathers, and she does not let me see my daughter. She is now 14 years old and my wife who I have been with for 20 years no longer works due to an illness. I have a mortgage, car notes and three children at home; I can't afford the extra $21.00 a week. I pay for all my kids medical and dental. What can I do?

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Mr.Thomas

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Oct 22, 2008
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Wow
by: Anonymous

I agree with both sides in my own way because I too have been the victim of my significant other stepping outside of the realtiosnship and possibley fathering a child. It just so happens that the girl had gotten knocked up before by someone else and got an abortion because she said he would have been a dead beat dad, but then when she got pregnant by my fiancee then she proposed to him. (mind you she has been chasing him since high school) knowing that he was with me and we had a child together. All this time she has said if you just talk to me and accept us (her and her two daughters one by someone else) as a part of his family then she wouldnt press for child support, because she didnt need the money. She also said as long as we werent married she wouldnt take our relationship serious and wait for him to be with her, now that we are engaged she wants child support I think women like this dont deserve anyhting especially if it can be proven that they are using the child. Now even thought the child is "inocent in the situation" just like us women who choose to stay with the men who cheat and father outside children get punished by association...why should the children be any different i dont mean that in a harsh way but come one that child isnt old enough to speak for itself either so the woman should have to take care of the child she wanted.

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Oct 22, 2008
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Submitted by: Anonymous

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I agree with both sides in my own way because I too have been the victim of my significant other stepping outside of the realtiosnship and possibley fathering a child. It just so happens that the girl had gotten knocked up before by someone else and got an abortion because she said he would have been a dead beat dad, but then when she got pregnant by my fiancee then she proposed to him. (mind you she has been chasing him since high school) knowing that he was with me and we had a child together. All this time she has said if you just talk to me and accept us (her and her two daughters one by someone else) as a part of his family then she wouldnt press for child support, because she didnt need the money. She also said as long as we werent married she wouldnt take our relationship serious and wait for him to be with her, now that we are engaged she wants child support I think women like this dont deserve anyhting especially if it can be proven that they are using the child. Now even thought the child is "inocent in the situation" just like us women who choose to stay with the men who cheat and father outside children get punished by association...why should the children be any different i dont mean that in a harsh way but come one that child isnt old enough to speak for itself either so the woman should have to take care of the child she wanted.

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Oct 12, 2008
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Women should pay also.
by: Anonymous

This is just a bit of information. My husband and I raised his two sons by different women and neither one of them was ever made to fullfill their obligations to child support. We never recieved any back pay that we were suppose to get. Between them both they owe him over twenty thousands dollars. Now, he has to pay for a child he had out of wedlock and they are making sure he pays back pay. What is wrong with the picture. Even though I am a woman, the man is the one getting the shaft. Maybe it is time some of you men get together and protest the system.

Oct 11, 2008
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Support equally
by: Anonymous

Regarding comment singlemiltarymom.
So everyone woman that is single has the right to sleep with married men? I just figured out why you made such a comment. I think you know why also. These poor single women are unable to find single men so everyone should pity them. Please spare me. The woman is as much to blame as the men. BOTH are to blame and both should support the child equally. So make these women work also. I went to college for 5 years for my degree and she makes more money by laying down. I am not sure what catagory you are in but apparently you have no ideal about how the wife feels.
Mary

Oct 11, 2008
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Think before you speak
by: Anonymous

To the singlemiltarymom. As for your comment about me blaming the woman. She knew my husband was married from day one. She collects three child support checks from three men and has never worked a day in her life. Good way of making money. This is what is called professional child support seekers. The fact is she told my husband she could not get pregnant. He is to blame as well and I have never said any different. He should have had a choice in the matter of having a child. She made all the choices in that situation. The only thing I was saying is there is women in this world that are true to there children and family and my husband is not the only one who pays for it, but my children do to. I just think there should be a limit on how many children you have with different men and recieve support. Then maybe she would think of a different career. I see you are a single parent. So, Your comment must come from experience.
Mary

Oct 08, 2008
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Equal Rights, Not at all
by: Anonymous

First of all I'm against abortion, but heard an interesting argument. A mother has rights to give up her child by having an abortion but the father can never legal give up his rights. He will always have to pay child support. Why can a mother legally give up her rights to a child by having an abortion but a father doesn't have any rights to give up his child if they want to. even if he could sign his rights over, the courts can and will make him support the child. Is the law discriminating? What about equal rights? A mother can choose but a father can't.

Sep 13, 2008
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Please!!!
by: singlemilitarymom

First off, the sin is the sex and not the baby, so for you to ask her to have an abortion is down right wrong. You should of been man enough strap up or not play around period. SO, you getting what you deserve. And for the comment made by Mary, dont blame the female she has no commiment to you, you husband took the vows to stay true. SO, quit blaming the woman for doing what she has the right to do by beeing single and blame your huband for not doing whats he was supposed to do and stay true to your marriage.

Aug 16, 2008
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Women who live on multi-child support
by: Mary

Your comment to Mr.Thomas was uncalled for on the abortion issue. My husband is basically in the same situation and yes he made a mistake also. What right does it give these women to sleep with married men and then collect two or three child support checks and live off our tax money as well. When will the law protect the woman who are married to these men and make such women pay for their actions because the man sure pays.

Mary

Jul 23, 2008
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Think Twice
by: Anonymous

If you asked her to get an abortion and you have the audacity to then complain you can't see the child you deserve what you get. Sorry - it's sad but true.

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