Never letting go of the past
by Deanna Avery
(Manchester ct usa)
I am married with 3 children. My oldest being my stepson who is 10 years old. For the last 7 years my husband has been doing everything he can for his son. He pays his child support consistently and he even pays half of everything else for his son. Sports, birthday parties, school clothes, school supplies, you name it and he is involved. We have him every weekend and twice out of the week and more than that if she needs us.
The problem is his ex despises him and has nothing nice to say because she holds onto the past. The first three years of his life he was very inconsistent with child support and visitation. There are no excuses but it was not by choice that he didn't see him as much as he should. His mother passed away unexpectedly and he was in a fog living a party lifestyle to ease the pain. He is now fully aware of his mistakes and has spent 7 years going above and beyond the call to try to prove he has changed. Everyone can see it besides her.
I don't know if it goes deeper than this but I just feel that she should move on. I know that she will not forget that he wasn't there as much as he should have been but he is now and has been for 7 years. I feel as though she should be happy that his father came around and grew up and accepted responsibility and is doing the right thing. My husband is a great father. I could not ask for a better one for our children. At one point in time about 7 years ago he was 15,000 dollars behind in child support.
He is now all caught up! For an example of how his character is..she took him to court two years ago to modify his support to get it higher. With all the facts the court said he could actually get it lowered and they asked him if he wanted to do that and he said no, lets keep it the same. I just wish that she didn't see him in such a negative light. She bashes him to their son and to anyone else she comes in contact with so everyone has this preconceived notion and it makes it uncomfortable. Oh well..I guess the most important thing is that his son knows the truth by his fathers actions and maybe one day she will succumb to the truth and be able to let go of the past.