Nicole

by Nicole Darnell
(Jackson Ms)

My oh so wonderful husband and I separated in June of 2007, our divorce was final December 2007 and 4 months later his girlfriend gave birth to their child. I fought with him every month for the first 5 months over child support.


The wonderful $313 I get for two children barely pays for anything and I have to cover them on insurance and daycare, all he is supposed to pay is the $313. He was granted 4 days visitation but because we live 10 hours away from each other he gets those 4 days combined. He doesn't have a car or license so he can't meet me to visit the children, so I meet his parents.

In March he missed his first payment. I still let the children visit him and then in April his parents wrote me a check for $400 to pay for April and some of the missed payment of March, since then I have let them visit 3 more times, but now that it is September and he owes me $1565, and we have a clause that he signed in our divorce that if he gets behind on child support he doesn't get to see the kids, I haven't let him see them. He never calls and if I can get in touch with him about the money he promises to send it the next Friday. I

am so tired of empty promises and no money. I would like my children to have a relationship with him but his empty promises spill over into the little relationship he has with them! He promises them kids dirt bikes and new helmets, he promises to take the boys fishing and camping. Our children are 4 and 2 and I know that they are starting to see the empty promises but I hurt for them. I hope they never think that I wouldn't let them see their dad just because he wouldn't pay me $300 but the point is, if I didn't feed my children they would be taken from me.

If I just left them at home alone while I went to work, DHS would be all over that. If I just didn't buy my 2 year old diapers, who would? And I feel that by him not paying he is allowing them to go without the things they need. Now the fact is that I will and do provide everything they could possibly need or want but I feel that he helped make these children he should help provide. By him not paying he is allowing them to go without food, diapers, daycare and support. My children will not suffer or do without because of his lack of support but how much do they suffer because of the lack of emotional support? How many children are doing without because fathers like this one refuse to pay?

Yes I can take him to court and I can hire some fancy lawyer, but the man only owes me $1500, a lawyer is more than that. And everything I read and every person I have spoken with says that I still have to let them see their dad, well to me a dad is one that supports, loves and cares for a child, so I do let them see their dad. I will take them to the Medicaid office, this is their insurance, and I will let my children see their daycare worker, this is their caregiver for most of the day, and I will take them see all of my friends, these people love my children.

So I have let them see the people that care for them, as for the person that donated sperm, I hope he realizes the children he made, call him by name only because he is just another name to them.

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hmm.
by: Anonymous

I understand what you're saying but 4 and 2 is SO young, they're formative years. Please Don't limit their access to Dad because of money. Let them decide for themselves when they are older.

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Dear Confused
by: Anonymous

You suck.(JMO) So basically youre saying that even though he helped create the children, that he has no interest in supporting them whatsoever, that he should get custody? We custodial parents and I don't mean just moms, have every right to b***h about the money that helps us provide for the kids needs and when we don't get that money it interrupts in the provision of those needs. It's a struggle to be a single parent even when you get child support but at least when you get it you have that help and that's more then you would've had before but for someone who is showing no interest in paying or providing or calling or coming thru on even just one of the promises made to those kids, he should have no say in anything at all then.

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Confused
by: Anonymous

You talked about money more than you did your children. If paying the bills is such a struggle and you aren't able to make it on your own, maybe you shouldn't have custody as you are obviously going to hinder your childrens future opportunities

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