There is always 2 sides to a story. When 2 people fight about over a child it is both that are lying. For 11 years I thought that my mother hated me and di not love me . why because that is what dad said. later I found out that she left because he was hurting her. She tried to take me but he stopped her. She tried again and he said that he would kill me if she ever came back, she believed him and did what she thought was right. I know her now and love her dearly. Dont be mad at your dad just cause your mom is . Hear his side to he may have a good reason. I know my mom did.
Apr 19, 2009 Rating
Time to Forgive by: Anonymous
I understand what you feel my father never paid a dime to me and I am deaf. I learned that it doesnt help to be angry with someone who hasnt take care of you. It not ment for him to be in a life of a child revenge takin him to court making him miserable only put bitterness in your heart deeper. Thats why I dont go after my father I forgive him and Let God take care the rest. This is why I can move on with my life and live it to the fullnest and I hope you do the same. Money cannot buy happeness.
Apr 07, 2009 Rating
Dead beat real father of my own by: Anonymous
Just wanted to tell you, you are definately NOT ALONE! Up until I was 21 yrs. old, the only thing I knew about my real father was his name. I found my real father when I turned 21, his wife of 20 yrs, and her daugter, and the two kids that they have together. I said WOW, he has a family and took care of them, but not me and my mom. JERK! I looked beyond that, and talked to my real father the 1st time ever on Father's day in 1996. CURIOSITY killed the cat! I was hated from that moment on, and was told by his wife NOT to call again! When I turned 27 I became a mom to a wonderful son, and decided to try and give him another chance, and make up the time he lost with me, and let him know that he was now a grandpa. He was thrilled, told me that he had tried to locate me and wanted to try and form a relationship. It lasted 1 1/2 years. THATS IT!!! The only time I hear from the other half of my family is when they buy something BIG, or are planning something terrific in they're lives that doesn't include me, and my son. So now at age 34 I realized that I had a real dad all along, not my real father, but my real dad. Anyone can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a dad. Sometimes as single mom's or as a split family the extra money does help out esp. because raising kids is very expensive and its only going to get worse. There are so many children out there thats not recieving Child Support, and thats not going to get any better either. So in my opinion, anyone who can't take care of their responsibilities doesn't deserve to be called a parent. I doubt he'll show, and if he does, well I'd say someone has a quilty conscious, and HE should! Neither you or your mom did anything wrong, you both should walk into that court room and be proud, I know I would. Best of luck.
Apr 02, 2009 Rating
Yes he IS by: Anonymous
Erin:
Just Wanted To Let You Know That Yes He Does Still Have To Pay Support On You But you Must Collect It Within 10 years of Turning 18 So You Can Still Collect Until You Are 28 If He Has a Court Order To Pay But If he Has Never Been Served With A Order.you Need To Get Him Served A.S.A.P .But On The Other Hand WHy Would You Want To Know Somebody Who Has Tryed For 17 Years To Keep From Helping Take Care of His Child Now If He Didn't Know About You Then That would Be different But It s Sounds Like He Is a REAL JERK! That You Might Be Better Off Not Knowing You Know What I Mean. & if He Has Been Served With Papers From the Courts To Show Up and He don't Then He Will Have Contempt Charges FILED Against Him By The Courts I Know This Because I Have Been where You Are Now With My Child's Father So Just Wanted To Shed Some Light On Things Good Luck & God Bless
Feb 19, 2009 Rating
Is it the money or the principle? by: Anonymous
I thought you said it wasn't about the money it was just that you wanted to meet your dad. So why do you care if he is liable to pay back child support?
Feb 14, 2009 Rating
Thank You by: Anonymous
Thank you both for your advice, and support. I ended up going to court yesterday, and of course, he did not show up. The court ordered a bench warrant, and told us to call the attorney general. We made the call, and were looking to see if we qualify to put a felony on him United States wide.
I can't exactly say that I wanted to meet the man yesterday, but I was hoping he would show up and take his consequences. He just proved to me that he is not man enough to do such a thing.
I'm not going to continue my search, but I'm happy that this felony has taken into an effect, and I will receive money that I believe I deserve. I know that sounds awful, or at least it does to me. Since my mother has taken care of me all my life, I think that is something she also deserves in return.
Feb 13, 2009 Rating
It's better sometimes by: Anonymous
All i have to say is it is better sometimes to not know your biological father at all. As a woman the mother has the right to find the child a new dad. And take it from me biological doesn't matter, it takes more of a man to take in non biological child. Sometimes things happen for a reason. But in the end it only accounts to whomever is right. And if your innocent then it will be ok. There is a lot of children who grew up just fine and never had a father in their life, me for an example. And i wouldn't care to meet him. Because that type of man doesn't deserve kids in the first place.
Feb 11, 2009 Rating
Shame by: David
Erin,
It's sad that you were put into this situation. I have read many of posts and this is the first time I've seen a child write one.
So you know, each state has different laws pertaining to child support. The first thing you or your mother need to do is google Michigan Family Law and review the rules for child support payments.
If child support was ordered against your father years ago, then the amount has continuned to accumulate over the years with penalties and interest. The amount would have been based on his reported income back when the order was established.
If this were the case, then your father's annual income tax return (if he ever filed) should have been taken away and given to your mother. Some states will also pull driver's license' and put the non-paying parent in jail.
I'll assume this never happened since your parent's split before you were born. There are many reasons as to why this may have happened, but only your parents know the truth.
So, assuming this man is truly your father as proven by DNA, then the courts may catch up with him and make him pay a certain amount of back pay. How far back is up to the Judge. Some Judges may elect to go all the way back to birth, while others go back a few years. Each situation is handled on a case-by-case unless specifically stated in the family law.
Take the time and do a little research to get the answers you seek. Just remember, this could happen to you if you make the same poor choice in a man as it appears your mother once did.
