by AlmostAnAngel
(Modesto, CA)

I just want to say that I read a piece of this article that mentioned child support should be based on current salary of the non custodial parent, not what they may have made 5 years ago. So what if the non custodial is making waaay more than 5 years ago? Does that change your thinking on child support?

I agree, there are some mothers that are cruel and mean to not let the father be a part of there lives. I, personally wouldn't choose to do that. My kids do love there father and it would just be punishing them and hatred for me when they are old enough to realize what is going on. And I say old enough to "realize" not "told" what is or was going on. When the non custodial parent decides after 5 years that he wants to start sitting in on both children's classes every Friday, I thought it was great. Our daughter who just turned 11 and our son who just turned 9 think it's great also. But, what if you are hearing your 11 year old come home from a weekend visit and tell you that "Daddy asked me if I wanted to go to Junior High by where he lives"?? Now, 11 years old, and she is having things dangled in her face for bribery techniques. And what about if you had just talked to the other parent one day earlier on a project that your son had due, I did explain in the English language to which he understands and speaks, fluently, that we were working on it, but it was not complete. But assured that it would be within the 4 days they still had off before returning to school.

Then upon the return of the children, I am told that our son was saying that we had not worked on it and so the father has him do it again while with him. What our son was trying to say was that it was not finished, not that we didn't start it. Maybe a call to there MOTHER would of been a better decision!! I was married to this man for 6 years. I think I know him pretty well. And conveniently, he starts to take the control lead, or tries, in there lives. You want to know exactly why? So that when our daughter, not our son though, comes of age to possible decide on where she chooses to live, well he is hoping she will say him. But then what about our son? He has always had his head up our daughter's ass since I can remember. He has never played catch or baseball or any father-son type activities with him. He promises all the time, but then who has got to mend that little broken hearted boy that comes home and cries about it? ME. The mom. So many manipulative bullshit moves have been made on me by him, and YES in front of the children. I constantly remind him to watch what he says in front of them. He does it on purpose. Or he is the most ignorant, unaware father ever known.

He does and says things so that the children will just over hear it and then, what do they think when they hear there father talking about there mother in such underhanded, chicken shit shots, they are going to have some belief in it. They are children. Sponges. And they especially will not for a second think anything bad about the parent they only see 4 days a month. So I am the punching bag, the sinner, the horrible care taker and the mom of all of it! So what fathers have to say, I know is bad, believe me I do. I have had friends do scantless things to the fathers of there children. I am just not that way.....YET anyway! So I am taking him back to court for support re evaluation and some revisions in the custody papers. I'm not taking time away, but I just want him to stop trying to make trouble with me and our kids. It is draining my relationship with them. And because I stick to my guns and bite my tongue, I have to just deal with it and try to make the best of it. But one day, they will realize, without me having to tell them, how things are and were. I pray for that anyways! And I told my daughter, that if she thought she would be happy there, well then I would not put up a fight.

Assuring her that I do not want her to leave, but that her being happy is what matters most. Then we have our son, who the father has not mentioned what so ever on living there also. I asked him about splitting them up? and his response was "Well yeah, why not"? My son needs his father, but is being rejected in a way. And he sees it happening, that is the saddest part. IDK? Thanks for letting me vent fathers!! lol Good Luck to each and everyone of you. Don't ever give up the fight for your children!

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