NYS Family Ct. Judge Set Up For Failure for Non-Custodial Parent

by Tammy
(Arizona)

I'm a ncp of 4 siding in NY, while I reside in AZ, who has their wages garnished 50% the legal max. for AZ with NY legal max 65%. I filed for a downward mod. bec. of changes in circumstances beyond my control & was denied. I filed an objection to the denial & was denied. This Judge has set me up for failure, made it look like I'm a deadbeat parent, and has not taken the emotional well being of my children into consideration at all. My childrens' father put me through 2 custody battles.I lost everything in the fight for my kids. My home, car, 3 jobs, friends, family members, & neighbors too. I've held down a reputable job, trying to put myself through school & have been reduced to living out of my car, in & out of shelters,no medical coverage, food stamps, etc. all bec. a Judge has decided that my ex can keep the kids in expensive private schools when public schools are good enough & what this family can afford. I do not believe that the child support laws were created to impoverish the non-custodial parent but this is what happens. NCP often times live in squawler bec. of inflated/unrealistic child support orders. When children get older & they find out that this is how their other parent was living they feel a tremendous amount of guilt. It is imperative that in these harsh economic times that the judges handing down child support orders take into consideration what is prudent living expenses for the children as opposed to luxuries. If the custodial parent is placing a daunting burden upon the ncp with frivilous expenses the judge has an obligation to see to it that both parents are acting fair & in the best interest of the children.

I have become nothing more than a dollar sign both in the courts eyes as well as my children who have been estranged from me for over 5yrs. The ncp has a right to any & all financial documents regarding the childrens' expenses, names of schools, etc. & the judge in this case has not ordered such documents be granted to the ncp. I'm caught in a vicious circle. I do not have the earning capacity to meet my court ordered child support & fall behind in arrears each month. This is why I must return to school to get a higher degree so that I can pay my child support obligation but the court instead confines me to Tent City where I am not allowed my school books etc. I have asked to negotiate with the General Attorneys Office & have been denied. I have come up with a solution to pull myself out of this abyss but the court refuses to consider it. Each month I'm found in contempt because I did not come up with the 1200+ payment when I don't even make that in 2 months. Do the judges not understand that the ncp has a right to a respectable life too? Do the judges not understand that the moral of the law can & should be looked at too? Do they not understand the messages they are sending the children..it's O.K. to eat steak while their other parent eats from a garbage can??? We teach our kids to have respect for their parents but where is the respect from the judges for ncp?? We can't even get court appointed attorneys when we can't afford to hire our own counsel.

There has to be measures set within the child support guidelines for the well being of the ncp too. It can't be all onesided, it most be a level playing field. Whomever reads this & agrees or not I would very much like to begin a support group for those ncp who are falling between the cracks. I can be reached at tomkitten1213@gmail.com