On a Mission!
by J. Rose
Okay, fellow Women, what I am about to say may make some of you mad, but it needs saying..
While I recognize that there are huge amounts of deadbeat dads out there, there are good ones too.But these good ones feel slighted and abused by the system just as much as we do. The way that child support is set-up, gives way too much power to people that are just "doing their job" and really have no vested interest in a positive outcome for the family as a whole. Custodial parents are treated as though they should be happy with however little they are sent, non-custodial parents are expected to never EVER have any life changes within a 3 to 5 year period, and neither parent is held accountable when they resort to less than childlike behavior by using their children as weapons against each other.
VERY SAD. In the end, the children are the ones who suffer most.
I have a friend who is caught up in this whirlwind of similar mess. He was denied visitation of his daughter for 15 years, and resorted to the bad choice of paying as little child support as he could because he was angry that he was being denied his rights as a parent. The Mother even took his daughter out of state, which is kidnapping, and has NEVER spent ONE day in jail because of it. They fought over this forever in court, and of course, no one was injured more in my opinion than the little girl. However, my friend has never been afforded any recourse, and even though he was/is still quite angry at the situation, has become older and wiser over time and for years now, has worked hard to correct the situation. He voluntarily went in and asked for a MOD because his income was higher, and he wanted to make sure he was doing right by his child. He finally got to see his daughter for the first time since she was a baby when she became a teenager.
As we all know though, the economy has since fell apart, and his income has since changed. Other situations have happened as well, like another divorce, and another beautiful little girl that he pays child support for faithfully (and thankfully gets to see), and as life would have it, he's behind on taxes and student loans.. Now, thats ALOT of change!!
He has been to court to try to rectify the situation, but in order to get a MOD again, he has to wait, or get an attorney. He cant afford an attorney. He works 50-60
hour weeks, and when the IRS, student loans and both child support payments come out of his check, there are times I have personally witnessed him get a $3.00 paycheck!! WHAT?? How can a person live? Now I do understand he made a bad choice long ago,but how is this right? He cant afford it. Then on top of all of this, he is expected to come up with 10% of his back child support payments or he goes to jail. Where does this leave his other child? How does putting this reformed Daddy (who is really trying, by the way) in jail, going to benefit either of his children or their mothers? He is angry, hurt, and depressed, and actually is technically homeless, because he has had to resort to living on his truck (he's a truck driver) in order to afford just to eat!I'm suprised he hasn't resorted to killing himself at times.
He goes back to court in two weeks, and at that time will either end up in jail for 6 months, or lose his license, which is how he makes his livelihood, and pays child support. Worse, he will not get to see his daughters!
So who will suffer? Oh, sure, he will, but even more, his daughters will, and his grandaughter will as well. When he does get out, he will be unemployed, and will have NO means to even attempt to support any of them.
This is UNFAIR, UNJUST, and just plain SLOPPY politics that these broken families are caught up in, and it DEMANDS to be corrected.
I am a 34 year old woman and the mother of 3 kids, and I would NEVER, after what I have seen my friends, both custodial, and non-custodial go through, allow the attorney general to play ANY part in the financial support of my children. ITS A JOKE.
Right is right, and wrong is wrong, I know.
But Broken is Broken. Our system for caring for the welfare of our kids is a broken mess, and we need to demand that something be done.
We also all need to grow up, and stop allowing ourselves to use our kids to beat each other up, and get Government out of our families business.
There is a solution... love your kids enough to agree to be good parents, and lets tell the OAG that their way needs reform..NOW!!
A concerned friend, proud parent, and American citizen.
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