Other side of the Coin
I see a lot of stories on here from the father complaining that they got behind on childsupport and are angry they still have to pay the balance due, even after the kids are 18. Currently my eldest just started school this year, and my ex (well, soon to be) and I have been seperated for almost 2 years. He actually filed on me, took the kids, emptied my home and our checking acct and served me with papers on a friday afternoon. I didn't even know where my 1 and 4yr old childen *were* for 4 days until I could get a lawyer. Despite the fact the attached sheet to the divorce says "in this county, don't do these 20 things" and he did almost all of them.
He was ordered to pay half of my daycare expenses, which he did....always late, always partial payments, I was always bugged by the daycare and worried they would refuse to watch my kids because of the issues with him paying his part.
After a year we went to mediation (march of 09) and he was ordered to pay child support in lieu of daycare. daycare had been 600-900/wk for his portion. 1st, 3rd, and 5th weeks. 300/wk.
His child support is 530/mth. He is living with his family, they are paying for the kid's clothes and food and toys and diapers. he doesn't pay for a thing. They are paying for his lawyer who keeps taking me to court and trying to run me out of money.
Meanwhile, 7 months later, I haven't received a dime, paying 1300/mth in daycare, carrying the mortgage of our home alone, my 10yr old car broke down and was worth about 400 in the blue book and not worth fixing, so now I have a car payment for a modest car, my water main burst and cost 1K to fix....
I can't afford to go see a dentist, buy pants that fit, eat out, buy my kids toys, etc. most days I feed my kids a healthy dinner and end up eating pb&j or ramen after they are asleep. I only eat 1x a day.
True, when they are of school age I will no longer have 1300/mth in daycare expenses, or once they turn 18..... at the same time, I'm working my butt off to make ends meet and I make 3x what he makes. I have no family to help me, I'm paying for legal fees (20K to date I believe) that are nonsense because he likes taking me to court, I'm stuck paying for this house that I don't want, and barely able to feed my kids many times.
I make just enough to pay my bills, but any additional expense puts me over the edge. So the 5K in legal fees, water main breaking, etc... keep putting me back into the negative.
Meanwhile my 350lb ex goes out to lunch every day, buys new clothes, new video games, takes the kids out for $$ activities, new glasses....
True, after the kids turn 18 the mother may not be supporting them (as much, I doubt most moms could turn a blind eye because a child turns 18) or the cost of supporting them may change, but that doesn't negate the financial responsibility of the father.
If you owe your ex wife 30K after your kids are 18, thats 30K of food, clothing, entertainment, etc that your ex wife was unable to give to the children, or more than likely gave up basic needs she had to pay for the children.
I spend the 4K a month I make on just bills I have for me and the children. We don't spend a lot, the daycare and mortgage are more than half. a good percentage has been legal fees because my ex wants to be a jerk.
If I have to eat ramen for 10 years to make sure my kids are taken care of, then he should too.....even if that happens after the kids are 18.
if the tables were turned, it's doubtful as many women would complain and refuse to pay child support. I know I certainly wouldn't be refusing to pay my ex for 7 months.
I work very hard and I have a very skilled job to make as much as I do. if my ex has a issue with me making more money than him and having to pay child support, I say get off your butt and get a better job. Being as he complained for 10 years that he hated his job, and spent every night "applying" for jobs (ie, playing video games) and used it as a excuse for everything wrong in his life....I don't see that ever happening. I shouldn't have to suffer for his apathetic attitude towards life, nor should my kids.