Pays Support But Doesn't See His Daughter (his choice)

by Rose
(United States)

My daughter is 2 and 1/2. I have tried getting her father to pay attention to her. His fiance found out about Suriah and forced him to take the DNa test (that I paid $500 for). She was 12 months and I was deployed overseas in the Army. My mother took care of my daughter and got the DNA test taken care of. Results came in September of 2010. 99.9% he's the daddy. Then he doesn't see her until December. He lived about 5 miles from my mother and where my daughter was staying. My mother became I'll while fighting cancer and I was brought back from Afghanistan to care for my daughter. Her father seemed to have stepped up.

Well I was sent back over seas for the remaining month of the deployment at the end of Jan 2011. I left my daughter in the custody of my best friend who had been in my daughters life for longer than a month. They were doing visitations even though her father wouldn't talk to my friend when they picked up or dropped Suriah off. It was all done through his fiancé.. At one point they left My daughter overnight at a babysitters house. (about 3 minute walk from his house)... My daughter developed a rash (she has a history of them due to sensitive skin) and played the blame game. My friend only wanted to due supervised visits from then on until I got home in 2 weeks. Her father got mad and took ME to court (after begging me not to go to social services in the first place).

My mother passed away during this time and things were extremely difficult. Court ruled for child support and visitation. He pays the child support but when we tried doing the visitation the very first timehe called and said he couldn't bring My daughter back to me because his car broke down. We now lived 3 hours apart which I had to drive (we agreed to meet in the middle for visitations)... So 3 hours to and 3 hours from. Since then He has never seen her although if I'm in the area I give him the chance. That was in May 2011.

I got married to an amazing man who wants to adopt My daughter but he can't unless her father agrees.. Her father broke up with his finance and was arrested and released for domestic violence. I know he smokes pot religiously and rumors are reaching my ears of pill abuse. I don't want him in my daughters life. He is manipulative and uncaring unless it profits him. I'm not sure how I can convince him to let my daughters stepfather adopt her. I know if he doesn't see her it's grounds for termination of parental rights, but he pays child support so I think it counts. I'm at a loss. He pays child support but IS NOT a good father...

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