Pissed Off Step Mom!!!!

by Erin
(USA)

My husband had a daughter with someone whom he was never married to and ever since his daughter was born she decided when he saw her and where and for how long.....until I came into the picture!!! They agreed 11 years ago to $60 a week and every year he would buy clothes...actually, until me, he sent her money. I started taking my step daughter shopping for school a few years ago but this year we couldn't afford it. My husband and I have 2 boys together and they're growing as well but last year I spent close to $300 on school shopping for her. My husband and I have also busted our A**ES to clean up our credit so we could get newer more reliable vehicles for all 3 of our children to ride in. Well this year we just happened to stumble on a good deal for both of us so I now have a 2008 up from a 1998 and my husband finally has his truck.

Well now my step daughter's mother thinks we're rich!!! NOT TRUE!!!! I work 2 jobs at night to be home with my 2 boys all week during the day taking them to pre school and kindergarten and staying home with them while they're sick. Plus not too mention it saves us over $800 a month in daycare expenses. My husband drives truck so I'm pretty much a single mother Monday thru Friday. Well now all of a sudden she wants to have the child support reviewed. She's doing this because she is married and has a child by her husband and she's supporting the four of them because he works when he wants too.

So are we suppose to support both households?!! My husband is suppose to have his daughter every other weekend which has only been stuck too for about 1 year of her life. She will be 12 in April 2009!!!! He has never been able to have her for a week in the summer or on vacations!! I told him if she wants more child support that this is what we were doing: no extra's cuz that's what child support is for, we get her every other weekend faithfully, we get her for 1 week in June, July and then August AND every other year starting this year my husband will claim his daughter on HIS income tax return!!!! I do believe this is only fair.

Every time his ex calls and his daughter needed something for sports or school or whatever we made sure she had it but now my step daughter really only calls us when she wants something. So she has adapted the "They're Rich" from her mother. I just feel like ripping something or someone apart. I'm a female and I have 2 kids and I do believe in providing for your children but come on doesn't anyone believe on co-parenting. Showing your kids that your adult enough to get along. Which by the way has never really happened here. There has always been little digs here and there even after we tried to get along. Does anyone know a good lawyer in New Hampshire for situations like this?




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Mar 31, 2012
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stupid women
by: gold diggers

I am 24 i have three kids and 1 step kid my kids father don't pay child support...for u mothers when u took these men to court for full custody u made it your responsibility to financially care for your kids. If u can't handle it give up your rights. Get your lazy a** up and get u a job stop trying to live off c/ s. Stop bitching for more money. And also u wana call uz monsters but who takes care of your kid when u dont want to. We do. And everything was good before us might be true but i sure as he** aint lettinv cheating gold digging wh*** treat me man like that..... GET A JOB

Mar 31, 2012
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step mom f*** stupid gild digging h***
by: stepj

Im 24 a mother of three and a step kid. My kids father do not pay child support.For the mothers how about yall all get your lazy a**** up and find u a job. u wanted the responsibility when u filled for full custody. Then deal with it stop b**** ing for money. Nd yall want the step moms to take care of your kid but yet we have no say. We have say we do yiur job when u dont want to what kind of mother does that make u.

Mar 23, 2012
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Stay out of it STEPMOM
by: Anonymous

Is your husband a man? All of you STEPMONSTERS out there need to stay out of it. Married to the man or not you are not in control of his previous relationship or previous children. The phrase "until I can along" means....everything was just fine UNTIL YOU CAME ALONG

Oct 18, 2011
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I am a 2nd wife and love it.
by: Anonymous

To all single mothers out there I feel your pain. Its defintely a strggle trying to raise children in one house hold. But, if you are going to say 2nd wives are second, you are really a tit for tat person. You cannot possibly expect a good man to choose between which child he should support based on thier birth date? Really? Just like he laid with her he laid with me and I expect him to take care of all of his children; not just hers. There are women here who have several "baby daddies" and they are not choosing which child to feed based on which father pays child support in a given month. Serously, adults need to be adults. First of all how much money the new wife makes has nothing to do with the first set of children. Second of all, if the NCP and CP were not algned on childsupport and other situations that arise before, what does that have to do with the new wife? Nothing. This may be the very reason why they are not together today- can't agree on anything. If both parents were putting their kids first by being respondsible versus comparing incomes and going to court, a lot of people would be happier in these situatons. Third, the courts are not for you CP or as you like to say First wives. The more child support they collect the more funding they get. So guess what. they dont care whether they rip your families apart. If being a supportive father was so important to them, why in da heck do they not make visitations mandatory like child support. You are a number in those courts. True adults can work things out in a civil manner. I see alot of angry people out there. Always mad at their "baby daddies" because he is not paying child support. Yes, he is supppose to but the truth is it takes alot more to chase after him then go on with your life. Educate yourself so this doesnt happen to you again. Make sure you go to school and better your self to be able to provide for your children. It takes the bigger and better person to make the first move. Trust me with these child support laws he is not living a great life either. Take care of you and yours.

Aug 09, 2011
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I'm a step parent adn understand.
by: Anonymous il

My husband and i have had custody of his daughters going on 6 yrs. Thier mother always tries to take us back to court to get custody of one, or both of them. If she wasnt a horrible mother to them , she would of never lost custody. When we didn't have custody she would never let him see them if she didn't get what she wanted. he was paying out the ass in child support. WE got pregnant and she made sure to take him back to court for more money knowing we were getting ready to have a baby. NOw that we have custody she pays hardly anything and is always trying to come up with reasons to stop payment. She is a pain in our asses. My husband has always been a great father. I've been a great step mom. My step children often think of me as thier mom , not thier biological mother. She talks about my 6 yr old daughter and makes up lies about me. SAys my husband tried to leave me on our wedding day for her and is constantly talking about me behind my back. She always calls him for no reason at all. She swears she hates him but yet can't keep his name out of his mouth. How do i deal with this?

May 12, 2011
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Greedy women
by: Anonymous

Greed is one of the most deadly sins. No step childs mother will ever touch a cent of my hard earned money. And if I want to buy a new damn car, guess what mama I am! She's popped out kids from several different daddies and is preggers again. Not my husband and I problem. She gets almost 2000 a month from these foolish men. Must be nice to be a breeder. But to all you step parents out there who's spouse pays this support, don't let the birthmother touch a shiney red penny of your income it's yours!!!!! RegArdless if you make more than her and him combined!!

Mar 28, 2011
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YOU are a very scary woman!
by: Greys mom

The only person I feel sorry for in this scenario is your step daughter. You are clearly a very self centered control freak. You are pissed because this is a situation you can not control. How about you get over yourself and think about this young lady that didn't ask to be put in the middle of this! What do you mean you could not afford to buy her school clothes? Did YOUR sons go without? You are beyond delusional if you think $240 a month in child support is taking care of anyones household. I'm willing to bet should you and your husband divorce you will not think $260 a month in child support is sufficient. Every statement you make is about you and what you have managed to control. When your done patting yourself on the back for being Stepmonster of the year you may want to try to think about the other people involved in this situation. It goes so much further then YOU!!!!

Mar 20, 2011
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Unfair system
by: Anonymous

My husband has 2 children from his x-girlfriend from before. My husband pays her 104 a week and since then she found out that my husband made a little bit more money and it turned out the courts hearing he has to pay her 330 a week b-coz she was saying she's studying in nursing, and can't afford to put the kids in child care too. We have a son in our own and it was too much for us to pay her. I don't work and we only have 1 car. I took care of him because we can't afford to send him to daycare. And now she was saying she did not graduate in nursing she went for LPN course. For over 9 years she haven't do anything at all to support this kids. All she did is digging some money from the state and from my husband and from her x-bf from before which she has a child too. They went to court again couple months and she have no car anymore since she had minor an accident just the car won't work anymore. And she said she only graduated in medical assistant and she have to go to school again for cna. What the fuck?This woman is full of shit. I was working now and my husband is been working hard to support us. Its just not fair to us and to my son especially that we only get to see the kids twice a week in just 2 days. We love the kids so much but she is trying take them away from us esp. to their father. . She wants us to see hurt financially, emotionally and etc. I just think the whole system is wrong she's milking the state get more money of it because she is a single mom. The kids are full time student she have no reason not to go to work.

Feb 02, 2011
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what to do
by: Anonymous

i am a single parent.. i dont get any child support cause the system is so shitty and is taking them a whole yr to give me a court date... My kids dad is such a loser. I would just be happy if he would pay some support and see the kids every other weekend..I just say your husband need to pay child support what ever they tell him to pay .. ya pay for certian things she needs doesnt have to be all expensive and take her on her schedule days... on the income tax if your husband shouldnt claim your step daughter because she doesnt live with him she lives with her mom and yes that child support doesnt cover really anything for the other parent it reallys just help her to raise the child so that income tax should go to the parent that the child lives with. I make good money and can support my three kids by myself. i recently found my fiancee and now we are living even more better financaly and still no support from the kids dad.. Now he thinks were rich cause there is two people working and he shouldnt even have to pay support cause he cant hold down a good job and his girlfriend doesnt know how to look for one and work... In your case just pay the support and see the child when you have her take her out and buy her things.. at least your doing your part..

Jan 20, 2011
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ur a bitch
by: Anonymous

ur a bitch im a single mother and he had sex with the woman so he needs to step up for his actions. wrap it before u tap it if u dont want to put up with crzy baby mamas. and u need to consider u step daughter as if she was also ur own..not just ur BOYS and u dont need to drive a brand new car. if u cant afford it dont buy it...duh!u also got with the man knowing he had a child and knowing their circumstances they had set up. child support shud have been arranged a long time ago.

Nov 17, 2010
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i have a question
by: Anonymous

okay so what if i married a man who has a kid who i totally love and he is paying child support to his ex wife because she is supposed to have him 60 and us have him 40% of the time but we have him all the time. we figured it out just to see and we have had him 80% of the time in the past year. she never even calls to see her kid, she goes weeks/ months without seeing him and then when she does she wont even keep him for a full 24 hours.
is there any way we can legally get more custody of him. we are a stable family and i dont feel she should be getting our money for child support if shes not even having him. she get food stamps and all that because she is supposed to have her kid too. I mostly would just like for us to not have to pay for her to be able to go party and get tattoos. any advice on how to go about of getting more custody.

Sep 07, 2010
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Cone on now, CS is just another copout...
by: Anonymous

I agree with you 100%!!
People who rant and rave about how "unfair" it is to be a single mother and how lucky these guys are because they just have it so easy are just plain ignorant and uneducated. How about a little education? Child support was originally intended to be applied ONLY in cases where assistance had been requested, such as well-fair. Then they would go after the dad and make him help.But geez, it goes through "government" channels now and holy cow all the sudden they apply it to EVERYBODY! Nobody finds this strange? Do a little research you would be quite horrified at what you find...
-Did you know that financial analysts have proven women's living standards increase following divorce (where CS is involved) and men's decrease?
-MOST cases of non-payment of child support can be attributed to inability to pay npt unwillingness to pay? Big differance...
-Percentage of income guidelines have been ruked unconstituational pay most states, yet about 9 still use these guidelines? Such as Texas, NY and those..% of payors income is considered-nothing else, in Texas they count nothing, the insurance is automatically covered by the payor and the CS is figured above and beyond that, its disgusting!
-MOST cases of "single" parent households are the result of the WOMEN leaving, not the man. Yet society continues to see the women as the victim...
SAD, and I may throw up if I hear one more person say, yeah but the child support ONLY covers housing, food and clothing what about everything else? Here's a bulletin how about YOU cover the rest, it's your responsibility too!!!!!!



Aug 08, 2010
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2nd WIVES ARE JUST THAT-2ND
by: Anonymous

I don't feel sorry for your situation because before you came along, your husband helped create another human being. If he couldn't afford to be with you and continue to provide for his first children, he should have either (a) not had anymore children or (b) made sure the wife knew what his obligations were going to be. You see, no matter how much you think you DON"T have, I guarantee you that "other" child your husband helped create has a lot less because a man already has an advantage in making money over the mother. I am sure you are not rich but to make sure you are not envious of a child that requires her father to support is plain evil. Maybe you should get a job to help support your own children with your new husband.

May 03, 2010
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WTF
by: Rachal

Are you freaking kinding me? First of all, if you marry a guy that has a kid or kids with someone else you are saying that you except the other kids and the situation. I am so tired of men going around making and leaving broken homes (single mothers). Then, you think that he (your husband) should just pay child support (in some cases $62 a month) and that is all he should do? That should take care of everything the child needs? Fuck that shit... men can make a baby... leave and go find another victim... making the women and child suffer... Then!!!!!! You have the men that marrys someone with kids (not his kids of course) and does more for those kids then his own. WTF? I HATE DEAD BEAT DADS AND THE WOMEN THAT EXCEPT THEM!!!! If you marry a man that doesnt do shit for their kids and you allow it (by staying with him or not saying anything) or you aid him in doing shit for the kid or you open your mouth to bitch about what he does or in most cases ordered to do for the kid then you are just as bad. Children need to have both parents support. Child support is NOT enough. Child support (in my eyes) just helps cover the childs living expenses, food and maybe some clothes. But, what about extra curricular activities? Toys? School activities? Day care? School pictures that cost at least 40 bucks? Field trips? School supplies? School clothes? Christmas? Birthdays? Halloween customes? Glasses or contacts? Children grow so much in their life. New clothes is a must. Shoes sizes go up... I mean I can go on and on for days. Men have it so damn easy. Plant the seed and go. U are not safe women... not even if you are married to the jack ass. Dont have a child unless U (the female) is ready and willing at any point to possible do everything ALONE.

Feb 05, 2010
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WOW
by: Anonymous

My daughters dad has never been around! he begged me when I found out I was pregnant for me to let him be involved! I was ok with that! But he never showed up to anything! He wasnt even there when she was born! Im a single mother attending college full time and also have a 3 year old! He would always say that she isnt his. (just because you sleep around buddy, doesnt mean I do) So I file to do a DNA test! When he gets his papers he flips out telling me how stupid I am that he knows she is his and so does everyone else. Well after the results came back, he obviously was ordered to pay child support. Apparently as soon as the baby was born he stopped showing up to work, so he would loose his job and not have to help out with his daughter! he was issued to pay $62 a month child support! That is a freaking joke! that doesnt cover a damn thing! thats not even a month worth of diapers, or even a weeks worth of daycare while im school! Ive asked around, but seems in Missouri theres much you can do about it, except file a hearing. that hearing date is set over a year from now! What the F, am I supposed to do untill then??

Mar 20, 2009
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Way pissed off
by: Anonymous

Wow do I agree with you all. My husband who has been a loving single father to a severly disabled son for 28 years,has a daughter with this broad who is a raging alcoholic and now that we have been married and i have horses and a ranch she thinks we are rich. Between us we have 5 kids living with us and barely make ends meet. I juggle our bills each month so this person can get her $1000 a month. We are slowly sinking and the courts refuse to conside our situation.

Dec 30, 2008
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Same Here
by: Wife to a Non-Custodial Parent

Wait till that hateful broad that left me a comment finds this one!! I'm glad you all feel the same way. My husband does everything except live with his daughter. My family is the one that needs the money. They technically get 3 incomes. While we live on one ( i recently got out of the army wasn't going to leave a newborn while hubby and I deployed for a 3rd time. That's pushing our luck) So we have to scrip and save for everything. I feel like we are getting punished. And with all the DEBIT the ex left on my husband (bills, credit debt, a foreclosed house) I'm sorry to say I'll be glad when she turns 18 so maybe we can break even some how. I know this sounds horrible but the money doesn't go to the child. The child lives with her grandparents 95% of the time but the courts won't let us change it.

Dec 18, 2008
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I have the same story
by: Stepmother of 3

I feel for you. I'm all about support for children. But there comes a time when enough is enough my oldest stepson thinks money grows on trees.(his mother tells him that we need to show her the money) for things like guitar lessons, school clothes, etc. Which I bought this year. But after the child support review at the begining of the month and the CS was changed from 300.00 a month to 787.00 a month, which they never took into consideration the other 2 children my husband has a support order on which is 700.00 a month for them so in total he is paying $1487.00 a month in CS. So the mother dicided she would take care of his guitar lessons since the CS was changed, well I called the instuctor to let him know that she would be paying for the lessons from now on, and come to find out our stepson was not going to the lessons and instuctor said he couldn't teach him anymore because he was not making it to the lessons. So we dished out money for lessons that he is'nt in anymore. So what about her promise I guess that don't mean s**t she now has an extra $60 a month for her self. I have an Idea you might want to look at http://change.org to get some of the CS laws changed.

Nov 07, 2008
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I feel your pain.
by: Anonymous

have 2 step dtrs with my husband, she spends our child support on herself and we always ended up buying everything the kids needed; courts do not care; when are they going to make these women accountable for this money and how it is spent.

Nov 02, 2008
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Frustration
by: Anonymous

I totally understans your situation. My husband is paying 300/week, for two children. Anytime the children need clothes, shoes, school supplies, sports stuff, jackets you name it, we are called and expected to buy it. The kids are starting to understand and feel our frustration. I don't think that they should have to worry about stuff like that, but SHE will blatenly buy things, not for her children mind you, and make comments like: "Look what your daddy's child support bought. I'm with you girl I am all about support and supporting children, by all means. BUT there is a time when enough is enough!!!

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