PLEASE DONT MAKE ME DO IT!!!!

by billy ray
(florida)

I MUST FIRST SAY I love my son (kids). I am a man with problems with disabilities and unemployed at a bad time now. My BM is draging me back to court again because I wanted to see my son at my home. I just moved back to Florida because she said my son wanted me here. She said he thinks im dead( wonder where that came from?) So all money I got from my parents to fly to him, but before I asked her are you saying this to see him or to make life hell for me? She said im not gonna do that to you he wants you around, so I came to him. She picked me up from airport and surprised him with my arival. I stayed with him for 2 -3 days. It was a good time for me LOVED IT. I would call to talk both daily untill day 11 of being here in FL. when I asked to get him for the weekend she said her mom was coming her for a while so I didn't call for awhile(that weekend)when I asked again for next weekend she was agitated with me while talking she was like were here you could have come by and you didn't call all weekend. I was giving her some space to be with (her mom )since she doesn't care to be around me. I Thought I was doing right thing.

Now after that phone call about 30 minites later a police officer comes to my home and says you have a warrent out for you. I was like she called you for that? He said yes, I was like WOW!! so I went to jail for a few hours paid 1500 dollars to get out (going towards CS)dad helped me there. So the next day me and dad were going to breakfast and another police officer shows up. I said what did I do now??

This is a restraining order to take affect now, you can't see your son or come within so much feet of her or my son. I now have to go to court again to defend myself over the lies she is saying. I had been talking to her while I was in Idaho for a year and a couple months, telling her about things that go on here and the drug problems the state has with METH an the signs they put upall over the town.

In the restraining order she stated I have sores all over my body and doesn't know why I have them unless I was using it (METH). Can't stand the stuff and its been 20 years since Ive seen it. I'm also stalking her in the order. I dont drive becauce lic. is suspended CS has stoped my occupational lic. to.

NOW its driving me to the point that I want to harm her I don't want to be it keeps going through my head. I'M over her but she makes me CRAZY WITH ANGER. Now when I call or talk to her. I love my son and wish to see him if I can, but now its to the point where I am going to give up my rights as a parent so I dont have to deal with her.

I am going to ask the courts to stop these thoughts by stopping parental rights and pay all back CS and be done with her. My son may not understand now but when he is older he can find me anytime and then we can talk. I miss him, I love him and I want a relationship with him but not have to deal with her stupidity and vindictivness against me.

WHY IS SHE DOING THIS???
she is playing with emotions i'm having trouble with already and dont know if I can control then either.

WhY DO MEN NOT HAVE ANY OR AS MANY RIGHTS AS laws need to cange to keep men like me from thinking or carring out thoughts against others. Please dont make me do it!!!!

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