Selfish mothers

by Holly
(Pulaski, TN)

We are in a situation where the father pays above and beyond in child support plus has always paid extras..
She has took him back to court for more money...This story could go on for days with so many details but
Its to much stressful time consuming crap...but I just wanted to say that mothers are so selfish to not allow there children to have a real relationship with there daddys...Its the most selfish act a mother can do..
it sickens me that these women do this and get away with it..as it turns out he has been paying to much child support and her taking him back to court will hopefully eliminate this but this has been going on for a year and she has not allowed the kids to come visit at all..She is in contempt of court as we speak..and there nothing one can do...we are due back for mediation
in November but all this is hogwash..here we have spent thousands of dollars to an attorney who could really careless...now we feel like we are getting screwed by our lawyer as well...It keeps getting put off...we have medaited once and we have already said take it to the judge but they dont listen...we have a 2 year old who was stripped away from her brother and sister. they haven't been to our house going on 9 months and still the court hasn't done anything...This woman who is responsible for this is a greedy, jealous sick selfish human being who claims to be a christian, all american mother haha what a joke!!!!!! She is so caught up in what she wants she cant see the damage she is doing to her own kids..women like her give women a bad name..
I can only hope Karma will be a bitch for her!! and as far as the law goes...unless you have unlimited amounts of cash and know somebody its useless!!!!! fathers rights are not protected and it allows women to take advantagae of good men...I am a women writing this and know this to be fact in my experience...The laws need to be changed!!!!!!!!!

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BOTH SIDES OF THE FENCE
by: Anonymous

I have been with my husband for 21yrs. And I can tell you first hand, from both sides of the fence that the courts dont care about anything but money!!! Sad world we live in. I met my husband at age 17 when I was a single mother of a 1yr old son. He was seperated from his first wife of 2yrs, and they had a 14mo old daughter. Way back then , everytime she saw him for a visit, she was beside herself with joy. She loved her daddy...but now 21yrs later, her mother was such a selfish, vendictive, manipulating, coniving,jealous person, that the relationship has been destroied and broken to the point that we do not even communicate with her, sad thing is...Now she has two children of her own and she's doing the exact same thing with her children that her mother done with her...very sad sad situation. It's a cycle that the lawyers and the courts are too dam greedy to see or even care about, so my advice is this.....if you are going through this kind of situation,(1) Pray (2)Make freinds in high places/Get connections/resources , because unless you just have loads of cash to spend, or an easy case to win, you will need more than a lawyer. You will need friends and connections in high places, so seek them out. Educate yourself on the laws of the situation, learn what all you can and can not do....TAKE YOURSELF THROUGH YOUR OWN LITTLE LAW SCHOOL (SO TO SPEAK) OF THE SITUATION YOU ARE IN..... I have a 22yr old son myself. I've never once denied his father visitation, even though the man has been in an out of trouble with the law all of his life, nevertheless, he loves his son and I ALWAYS fostered a good relationship between the two....difference in my son and my husbands first daughet...My son is a high school graduate c/o 2011, she dropped out preg in 11th grade. My son is in the aire Force. She has never had a job for more than a couple weeks. My son does not drink alcohol, nor smokes, nor does he have any interest in either. She has done all three, smoked while preg with both children and continues such. My son spent his high school years being all of his buddies sobar driver when they all partied a little too hard, he has been a good friend and a wonderful son. He is now going to be a great man as long as the good lord is willing and I'm alive :) , on other hand.... she spent her high school years sneaking around with whoever would sneak around doing god knows what when ever she could. She has never had real friends becasue she does not know how to be one. LESSON: SHE IS EXACTLY WHAT HER MOTHER RAISED, AND MY SON IS EXACTLY WHAT HIS MOTHER RAISED. Children live what they leran and learn what they live.

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Woman's lib Curse
by: Inquizative

You don't fully Understand this selfish woman (I don't mean mother) mentality is running rampant and it's protecting by the law. It's womens lib out of control!! You have a whole generation of kids whose mentalities are destroyed because of this!! The family court system doesn't care about fathers or their children, they just want to make sure that woman and child don't lean on the system for welfare! You see it's not family court it's WOMAN'S COURT nothing else but for women and I don't mean ladies!

Today's woman doesn't care about children because if they did they woulda me sure they were in a stable relationship before having a child. Not just turning men into sperm banks just because they want to experience motherhood. Today's woman resents the fact that a child has an innate need for a father! Their narcissism is out of control.

Folks check out the law books for the legal term "The Tender Years Act." and this will explain the source of this horrible curse these "liberated" woman have done to children and their fathers.

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white male
by: Anonymous

You are right. I was a good father and a good husband yet I am the one who can't be with my daughter just bc she wants to be young aand go out with her friends. I would rather be home every night with my daughter and be a good example to her but if you don't have the money and you are a white straight male you might as well forget it.

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Hateful mom
by: Anonymous

Hi, I am 24 years old, and have a three year old dauter named Hannah. I love her very much and i never get to see her. I raised her for the firest nine moneths of her life. Everything was going great untill my ex started cheating. Well, we broke up ofcourse. I eventually started paying childsupport, and have been sence. Im still paying and i still can see my daughter:( I miss her soo much! I love that little girl, but her mother is a lowlife heartless *****, so things havent went so well for me needless to say. I'm out there bettering myself everyday just for my daughter's sake, and mine. I want to add another note as well: our, ("Fathers") child support money should have a certain percentage of the amount payed- go to a personal saving for the child for when she/he is old enough to spend it for his/her self. The remaing balance to help with other exspenses for the child...
Thank You
Sincerly
Todd Warren

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selfish mothers
by: Anonymous

i just have a question because we are tired of paying so much child support for his and his ex wifes kid, she so selfish and thinks about herself we want to have more time with him. is it easy to take her back to court to try and get 50/50 or at least maybe 40/30 to where we get more time with him and do not have to pay as much for 1 kid

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Get it straight
by: Anonymous

Please. All this talk about not having enough money left over to live on after paying child support and whining about just tells me and hopefully many others that u are clearly living beyond your means. Get a clue. Children come first - they only get more expensive to raise and care for as they get older. If u have the means to call someone from your blackberry or iPhone, then u have the means to put money towards your kid instead of putting yourself first. It makes me ill thinking about it. Stop your complaining, pay what u are supposed to pay and be done with it.

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tired of child support laws
by: Anonymous

i think that if u have kids with someone and u split up and u are in that kids life just as much as the mother why should u have to pay child support, why does the man have to give the mother oney for taking care of there kid,if he is in the chiulds life he shouldnt have to give the mother anything, she can take care of her child when the child is with her, now if he wants to help here here and there that is different, but if he is working 2 jobs to take care of all his kids why should he have to give her money we dont know where that money goes my fiancees ex wife is so sellfish and materialistic, i know she doesnt need over 300 month for an 8 year old we have 5 kids and it sux that his son comes here with all this new stuff, and i can barely buy my girls from my ex anything, so my fiancee pays over 300 month and the rest of our kids have to suffer kids are expensive we try to but them as much as we can but sometimes its hard i dont get any child support for my 2 kids from my previous relationship, something needs to be done zbout the ead beats who do not pay anything and do not work, all they have done so far is suspend his license, my exes fiancee always gets mad if we leave something behind lkike clothes or shoes, like we didnt pay for it, she acts like everything is hers, and has to stay at her house so what if we forget something i not like he doent have more at home, it always comes back eventually i just cant wait to take her back to court so something can be done in our favor she never lets him make decisions even though they are suppose to together, if we want to get him an extra day she says no and then lets im go to his grandmas why cant he come here and extra day and see his sisters and dad y deprive him from extra time 1 extra day here and there shouldnt be a problem she just likes to have control and he letes her

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Cash Cow fathers
by: D.Lopez. (FL.)

I haven't seen or spoken my son in 17 years. His mother took him and left. I have paid child support religiously and carried health insurance for him. Nobody can tell me where he is. My pay checks are garnished and the checks they send seem to keep finding her. I hired an attorney but my case wasn't taken seriously. I spent the first 10-12 years after she left trying to find them. I didn't have alot of money at the time so I did the best I could. After awhile you seem to lose hope. The courts don't enforce the woman being in contempt or with abbduction of a child. Had a man done this. He would have been on Americas's Most Wanted. Had I chose to be a dead beat dad and not make the payments there was only one person I was hurting....And that was my son. The Attoney General or the custodial parent doesn't care where the money comes from as long as they get it. I feel like a cash cow that is caught in the system.

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Same situation different story.
by: Anonymous

My Fiancee and his ex have two children together. when they spit they had a signed agreement between them notarized by the court stating that they would share 50/50 custody, and that neither would pay child support. Then a month ago she decided she didnt want to abide by the agreement and wouldnt let him have the kids, because we are together and she "wants him to herself" quote unquote. Now she is taking him to court for child support, because she doesnt want to get a job, ( she quit her last one, for no apparent reason,) because he will have to pay her more money if she doesnt have a job. She told the courts it was all about the money, she pretty much showed them that she doesnt care about the children. Why is it all right to use kids as pawn just because your pissed off?? She is a greedy Jealous person and this cant be legal!! What can we do?

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ex wifes
by: Anonymous

my fiancee and i have 2 kids together 5 total and h has a son with his ex wife he pays over 300 month in child support and she acts like she is the only provider, if we leave a pair of shorts or flip flops anything here she gets pissed and says i want his clothes back, then she told me that her and him take care of there son not me i dont make parentakl decisions the only decisions i can not make are the medical and legal ones , she is so controlling, she acts like 300 is not enough\, she i sos selfish she doesnt wan to have more kids im sorry but i think people who have i kid and sont want anymore unless u physically cant that is selfish cause it will get in the way of your life. the father to my 2 older kids doesnt do anything has never paid child support these woman dont know how lucky they are to have a kid with a father who cares and pays child support, i cant wai to take her back to court and re modify everything like she did with us

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I agree 100%
by: Anonymous

I think the justice system should look into this because we are also a victim of a woman like this. She had a child with my husband while she was married to somebody else. She collected money and took a full custody of the child. She just want money and didn't even care if her son has a father. Now that a child want his dad she still collecting a child support as a full custodian. The justice system should not allow this women to continue on abuse men out there. Not all women are nice at all some are nasty and no moral what so ever. I think a child support should be fix. I have 2 children and my husband made paid more $600 a month for 1 child. what the court didn't understand that while the save a child they are also killing 2 or more children out there. Why not add all the children a man have and split by that number. Why the other child deserve more than the other children.

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i agree!
by: Anonymous

this is so true! my husband has a little boy with an ex-girlfriend and always has paid child support. they went through mediation and that was good while it lasted. his son's mother is SO selfish. To make it worse, my husband's father is on HER side! the csea does not give TWO SHITS about the father or his family. Only about what baby mama claims to "not have." In our case, HER BOYFRIEND BEAT THE CHILD and WE STILL CANNOT SEE HIM!!! Child Services got involved but we havent heard one way or another on that either! This woman does not work and neither does her boyfriend. she has another child with another man that isnt her boyfriend and lives pretty nice! she has a better car, furniture, clothes etc.. She does not have to pay ANY BILLS and still has spending money to go out and shop or what not! its crazy! these woman just want a paycheck. period. does it make them feel good to keep their children away from their father? i would really like to know what goes through these womens heads? its so frustrating! court gets you no where. why dont they just legalize prostitution? thats basically what its like...!?

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to anonymous 10/29 & whom it may concern
by: Holly

In my experience and most cases I know...kids of divorce have more than if the parents stayed together..As in our case If my husband and ex were still married there is no way they could afford the things she request nor would she try...because it would put them in a bind..Woman are greedy, jealous and never satistfied as a woman I hate to say that..But people say if you marry a divorced man with kids you are really marry his ex too...Thats where the laws should change..divorced means not together anymore so leave me the hell alone..Man or woman should have the freedom to start a new life without the harrasement of someone that is jealous & greedy.
The laws can make you pay for college...they can't if your still married to the mother...why is that..Is that not against contsituationl rights..No one paid for my college...Why should one be punished and made to do thing they can't afford and wouldn't be able if they were still married..just because baby mamas says...oh yeah but visitation is impossiable because baby mama says but just right that check!!! They don't need love just that check!! I am a mother of 1 baby girl and I can't imagine, even if he walked out on us to discourage her from her father...That is a love just like a mother and her baby...Men don't get that credit...It's a sad thing...Maybe we should thank the dead beats for that...???who

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the law must change
by: Anonymous

u r right the mother here wont let him c his child they where never married but she acts like she has all to say but if u actually think about it it a form of prostitution these mothers r having kids just to get child support n refuses to let father c his child!!

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i agree laws need to changed
by: Anonymous

i myself recently got remarried. and my ex wife agreed for me to pay a certain amount a month and child support enforcement wants to review my income and readjust my child support. come on the court granted me what me and my ex agreed on.

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The law
by: Anonymous

I'm married with two children from a previous marriage, one step-child, and one child from my current marriage. We have never been able to have my step-child on a regular basis. We are currently living on one income and have more money being paid out than is coming in and have had to rely on family members to assist us. Step-child's mother lives at home with her parents and receives social security and social security disability. Step-child's grandparents provide food and shelter for the both of them. Step-child's mother cries poor, yet somehow manages to always have a new hair-do & color and to get her nails professionally done. In addition to child support, and paying for health insurance, we have bought clothing and supplies with and without it being requested yet mother has just sent in request for an increase fully aware of our financial situation. Our child together is not taken into consideration unless we file for divorce. So basically the state of Florida will make sure a child who's needs are being met in that situation but take away any money for food for a child that lives under the roof of a parent that can barely make ends meet paying support. The other problem I find with the system is that not only do father's have no rights as far as having any say so in visitation but also if the mother has mental problems and can be proven unfit in court as a result it takes an incredible amount of money for a father to even do what's in the best interest for the child and remove the child from the home. If the father has no money to fight it, the child will remain in the home regardless. There really needs to be more legal education for fathers and more legal aide because not all fathers are deadbeat fathers. There are many fathers who unfortunately just end up being a paycheck for the mothers who are selfish and don't have their child's best interest at heart.

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I Agree 100%
by: Anonymous

I have been married to my husband for 8 years, and we have been dealing with his ex-wife from day 1. She has dragged him into court 3 times now, we are actually in the middle of another court battle again! It's absolutely bizzare how this person can get away with the shit she does, she is in contempt as we speak and has been for 7 months now by dening my husband visitation of his kid, which he legally still has 50/50 custody of. She is pushing to get more child support, and 100%custody of his kid. We have 3 children in our home, and the court does not care how much money we have left over to eat on. If she gets awarded what she is asking for, that will leave us at a $0.00 balance every month, and maybe even at a negative. His ex has just purchased a workout gym/salon, put forth $50,000 and just another $20,000 in new equiptment for this place, but yet there is nothing we can do to make the court see how much she lies about how much money she really makes a month. I really feel that at the moment a couple becomes divorced, that the ex wife can no longer touch anything that the man makes from that moment on. They are divorced, so why should he have to continue to support the "ex" wife any longer?? That is not fair to him, nor is it fair to the new wife he is with, it puts a marriage into a hard spot. VERY UNFAIR!!!

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This Is sooooo true.
by: Anonymous

I think America should wake up if a man paid a child support and she didn't complain to court about the amount she receive why should the court grant her for back child support anyway?. They can increase the amount but they shouldn't get more money because she feel like she should get more in the past WTF? Secondly you are so right that men has no voice when it comes to child support. If a woman want to have an abortion it's ok? the man has no right to stop the abortion even though it is his child but he has no right to give up being a dad?. Fuck that the system is corrupt as hell. Men has right too!!! If he don't want the child and the bitch want it then she can have the child just like when woman want to kill their unborn child. Let the men free if they don't want to be part of the kids life specially if the child is born from wed luck. I am a mother too who stand with pride " I don't the men's money to raise my child".

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Selfish mothers reply
by: Anonymous

I feel your pain my situation really is a difficult one for me to swallow also. My husband has been paying child support all along and his child is now 17 and the mother took him back to court a few months ago and he was ordered to pay a whopping 1200. per month for ONE child. They never took in to consideration the three children that live with us now and everything we have had to do to support them.His Ex wife is very selfish too she has poisoned their daughters mind with lies about her father and only cares about her narsistic self, so he never gets to see her either! Then to top it all off I have an ex-husband that works under the table and never pays me child support he apparentley paid 20,000 in the last 14yrs but I saw maybe 4,000. Then the state of California kept 16,000 for back welfare I had to be on for a year. But from what I understand the child is supposed to get paid first....that was not the case I saw none of it I really feel like an injustice has been served! The only thing that gives me peace of mind is God will repay and he has absolutely provided for us. Glory to him in this cruel world!

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I am with you
by: Anonymous

My wife decided I wasn't good enough for her so she decided to bully me with threats with my child as leverage. She took my house, half my paycheck, and I have to pay for extras. I live on $200 per week and I am behind in everything in MY life. She has since then moved her parents into my house, is on permanent disability and doesn't pay any bills for herself. I don't have a problem paying child support for my child but, don't expect me to support you too.

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Laws need to be changed
by: Anonymous

You are correct when you said the laws need to be changed the child support guide lines need to be higher at least 25% like in other states. The state of arizona is very unfair when it comes to child support or as other call it man loving state.The non custodial parent must make sure that the child does live with in the same guide lines that they lived before the seperation. Just because they enter a new relationship does not mean that the child needs to suffer short falls. Maybe the new spouse needs to work harder to help this happend. People must remember that when they get in a relationship with a person who has an ex spouse and they are actually entering one with them too.

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