My Boyfriend of almost two years just went through a really bad divorce. We met at the beginning when he was separated and he was going through hell at the time. She wanted a open relationship and she moved out. The only thing is that he met someone while she was gone and she than wanted him back. It was too late than because we had fallen in love.
It was a very long and painful divorce leaving him with 50/50 custody of the kids who are triplets age 6 who live in California. She was very aggressive and angry during the whole divorce and felt that he owed her something. I must admit she is a bit nuts and often had fits of rage where she would jump on him in front of people including the children.
My boyfriend is a really sweet and soft hearted man who wants to provide for his children. He has a advertising business where he advertises for local businesses in the area and he has done this for the past 10 years. Business has been slow in the area because of the economy so he is struggling to make ends meet.
He made the decision to try and give her something even though she made more than he did in salary because he felt as if that was what a man was supposed to do. Against my advice he signed a paper that stated that he would start to pay her around $300.00 a month and it would go up $50 each month until it reached $800.00 a month to give him time to make more money. He would only do this if on the paper it stated that he could change this agreement at anytime because of hardship. He managed to pay her $5000.00 in 2008 and had to stop because there was simply no money. She raged and has now sicked child support services on him. Before they finalized the divorce he went to the courthouse and took a class so he could have his payments modified according to both of their salaries. At the divorce hearing the judge said that he did not do reducing paperwork right and the agreement stood. This did not help him because he did what the court training class told him to do. He has finally after several months completed the right paperwork. But now child support services says he owes over $4000.00 to her.
Now you have to understand that he has just lost his house, they both had to file bankruptcy together, he had to pay for the mediator because she did not, and he had to pay to get their taxes done.
She now has hired a paralegal herself who has summoned him and demands that he shows all of his records for the past three years, all of his bank account records, any financial records, and any trade account records that he might have because he often did trade while they were married. He cannot hire a lawyer because he is broke and he is helpless not knowing what he can do. If they award her the past child support he does not have the money to pay her so what would happen?
Apr 06, 2009 Rating
FRUSTRATED AS WELL! by: Anonymous
I have a little bit of a different situation but with the same outcome. I married a man that had two young kids with his previous short term girlfriend. They were never married and he was very immature in not protecting himself. It would take me days to go thru everything so I will try to sum this up. Met him, he moved from OK to NC to be near them after he finally was tired of her cheating, not working and being psycho and made her move out. She lives in SC and until Father's day of 07 he paid her 1000 a mth and had limited access to them. She controlled when he saw them, and tried every tactic to get money from him. When I came into the pix it got worse and she harrassed me as well. She wld call him and leave msgs on his phone telling his daughter he wld rather be with his slutly "B" than her. It was so bad but you get the idea.. We were married May 07 and June 07 Fathers day he was arrested for domestic violence and she filed a retraining order for her and the kids, which wasn't justified (he was found Not Guilty). After thousands of $'s and so many lies she finally filed for Child support and won $1500 a mth, Full Medical(200 being back child support, which makes no sense), even tho she doesn't work, bought a new car, house and bought in 08 and was caught lying multiple times on the stand. He also only made 25,000 when they were together. How is this fair that they soley base it on his income at the moment and not his bills and what he did to accomplish what is rightfully his. I understand CS but in a reasonable term. I will never have a child now, and I am completely disgusted with this issue. Her lifestyle is what she has made of it. Now she doesn't have to work and we are paying her to live. We never heard the judge tell her to better herself and fill in for the slack she is distributing. I cld keep going trust me. I WILL NEVER RESPECT A WOMAN IN THIS ISSUE EVER AGAIN. MY HUSBAND HAS TRIED SO HARD FOR HIS KIDS AND NO MATTER WHAT HE HAS BEEN KNOCKED DOWN, EMOTIONALLY, AND FINANCIALLY. Now we have to come up with the money to try to get joint custody. RIDICULOUS!!!! Where are the guys rights and forget going back to the courts, who can afford it, unlike woman, men don't get a free ride. Plus, it is what it is and the courts could care less what the woman's status is, so they always win!
Feb 11, 2009 Rating
Go Back to Court by: Anonymous
If I where you and your husband I would go back to court. I don't know what state you are in but in most states when you have share custody 50/50 which they call joint custody here you don't have to pay child-support.
Put aside money and get a attorney to fight your cause it will save you and your family a lot of stress!!! And if your husband still wants to give her money that's fine but have her straighten out her act, start taking pictures of your children and document her actions ,you and your husband need to go to the PTA meetings and establish a relationship with the teachers get there feedback as well.
Remember you can take the pictures and you guys can even go back to court for full custody if you are willing to take on the responsiblity " that parts up to you and depends on how much you love your step-children" and the issues you face with her. Hope some of this helps.
Praying for you!!
