She took off to Cali... before the baby was born

by Daddy Again
(Nashville, TN, USA)

Stressed!!!

I have learned to stand my ground... and not be a casualty in the system.

I want to take care of my responsibilities. I want to be a GOOD DAD!!! But I am not going to let a woman who uses the system dictate to me what a GOOD DAD is. I don't try to tell her how to be a good Mom.

I went through a divorce and paid child support for two children who are now grown. I struggled tremendously and sometimes I thought I was going to lose it (as a matter of fact I did, several jobs, two businesses, and 6 months of my freedom & liberties). The divorce bothered me, but what really got me was how no one seemed to care or they felt helpless as well. After sometime had passed I began searching subconsciously for something to fill the void in my life. I did not enjoy the marriage, but I felt so bad like I had let my family down.

The results were that I got another woman pregnant that wasn't close to even becoming my wife. I am in Tennessee and before the baby was born she moved to California. She didn't want child support. But years later, she contacted me to introduce our child. Well, long story short, she changed her mind. My next statement was, "What about visitation?". Her reply was "I have to think about that". That did it immediately for me. I am not going that route anymore.

So, I will not wait any longer. I have to get a lawyer that I can afford. Mothers stop dictating to the fathers if you want them to help out. In my case its not necessary. Be civilized, trust that I will take care of my responsibilities as I trust that you will. We had this child together, so let's raise the child as if we are together. If not, then ok let the courts carry the burden of making a decision for us.