SO Unfortunate

by Anada

I am a girlfriend of a loyal man who pays 1,000 dollars a month to his daughter’s mother. He has joint physical custody. Joint decision-making. BUT she has primary. We have his Daughter from Saturday at 6 until Tuesday at One. (Every Tuesday we drop his daughter off at her mother’s baby sitter), every Saturday his daughter gets dropped off by her grandparents and have seen the mother 3 times in the past 4 months.

A year ago my boyfriend went to court for a motion to modify. He was paying 650 a month before. (Mother was asking for 1,200 dollars a month HA)
His job at the time (a manager of AT&T) took up a lot of his time. Could barely see his daughter. His employees were calling him 24/7. SO he quit his full time job to start his own company. BOLD MOVE!! Went into court without a lawyer, because he couldn’t afford one. Judge didn’t like that so then raise his child support to his maximum capacity. Which is 1,000 dollars a month. So since his daughters mother has her for 14 hours more a week I guess that costs 1,000 dollars (EXPENSIVE CHILD)

The mother was living with her parents. Pays no bills and now come to find out a year later is a drug addict who pays more attention to herself and boyfriend than her daughter. We are also finding out that his daughter is spending more time with her grandparents than her own mother.

2008 is now over and it has been over a year since his support got raised. We are finding out that he only made 30,000 dollars in '08. TWELVE thousand TWELVE went to his daughter’s mother. I am very proud of him for not having a nervous brake down.
I have been there and seen him almost crash and burn. I can’t believe a judge would do something like that. I’m sure if the mother wanted to quit her job to spend more time with her daughter that would be OK.

There are fathers out there who see their children every other WEEKEND and don’t pay that much in child support. Something needs to change.

My mother raised 4 children on 9 dollars an hour. You can go to Disney Land with two months of child support. You can pay a mortgage with one month of child support. You can buy a diamond necklace for 1,000 dollars. CRAZY.

We are waiting for a court date to get primary custody. If we get Primary we will not be asking for child support. We jut want what’s best for his daughter.
Her mother is an unstable Parent. Moves in and out of boyfriend’s houses. Broke up with one boyfriend and 2 weeks later introduces another to her daughter. Puts her daughter in shoes that are one in half sizes too big. She would throw parties at her house with her daughter running around till 2 in the morning. There is so much more. We have some of her friend on our side going to court to testify against her.

Maybe a judge should listen to the whole case before assuming the father is a dirt bag. Hopefully he will this time around. Its all about politics. You walk in the courtroom with a good lawyer your chances of winning are SO high. Even if you are the bad guy.

SOMETHING NEES TO CHANGE. I only want what’s fair.

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Reply to Jr.
by: Jackie

Once again... YOU ARE SO WRONG! I agree, children does need supprt from both parents! But there is only so much a child can spend! IT IS NOT FAIR THAT THE MOTHER get's more money on the fact of what the Father makes. Then when the child visits the Father. he then has to spend more money. When a child spends a whole summer w/ their father, does the child support stop for the months that the father has the child? NO! Why is it that the mother still draws child support when she doesn't have the child for months at a time, leaving the father to fully support the child while in his care, and still paying child support? So you're saying, the mother should live a god as the father just because she has a child by him??? NOT FAIR! I think the system should souly make the child support arrangments in what's best for the child! Half the time when these men are paying child support, the mother spends the money on herself and the kid(s) get hardly nothing! I agree a lot w/ the annonymous comment, women always want to be created equal until money is involved! So... if a man decides to better his life, go to school, work hard to make more money - the woman can't cut into his wealth just because she has his child? You're saying that's fair? OFCOURSE IT ISN'T! You have so many women these days that use the system to bring a man down just because of their own selfesh ways and it has nothing to do w/ money! They just know the system will back them up and they do whatever it takes to bring a man down! Most of the time it's because the man has moved on and is happy w/ another woman or just simply does not want them anymore. CHILD SUPPORT REALLY NEEDS TO COME UP W/ A BETTER SYSTEM! I bet if they would inforce a more strct law on child support, these women would stop having do many babies!!!!!!!!

reply to jr
by: Anonymous

"If not he will be spending time with our son.Ha!Ha! LET'S REMEMBER IT'S ABOUT THE KIDS. THEY NEED SUPPORT"
You sound like a typical gold digger....maybe you should have re worded yourself
My boyfriend has joint custody JOINT CUSTODY and pays 1,000 dollars a month. His W2 for the year of 2008 was 30,000. 12,000 of that went to the mother. TWELVE THOUSOND. she made 22,000 (of course not including the 12 that she got)
Putting the father in debt and making the mother financially set is NOT GOOD FOR THE CHILD! Ill tell youwhat..i have never seen a man soo stressed inmy life...hes 28 and about to have a nervous brake down.
"they need spport" my mother raised 4 children on 9 dolars an hour. Just because your babys father is rich doesnt mean you have to take that away.
Woman and been fighting for so long to become equal to men. But when it comes to money..they dont want to be. Its females like you who ruin mens life.
My boyfriend would give anything to see his daughter more that half the week.

by: RJ

I agree somewhat with David. Jackie not to sure. I too am a single mother and believe that both parents are responsible. This guy who had a secure Job with a good company leaves it to start up his own company? Maybe he made a bad choice. Maybe the Judge saw what many parents do. They leave good jobs to not pay their support. Before thinking of himself maybe he should of been thinking about his support and well-being of his child. Or make that change in having his own business, but have some monies saved for his child support. I don't believe the system is out to hurt any Children I believe US Parents hurt our Children. Our choices for our kids have become selfish for our own needs. The Children are suffering and we act like the Victims. The System should be tougher on the parent who does not want to be a parent Moneywise or Physically. THESE CHILDREN DID NOT ASK FOR THIS! Thanks to the system I do receive support from my sons Millionaire Father. See he didn't do it from his heart for 1 1/2yrs he did it because I finally got the System involved. We still talk and its a battle every month but I wish him more success so he can still pay his support. If not he will be spending time with our son.Ha!Ha! LET'S REMEMBER IT'S ABOUT THE KIDS. THEY NEED SUPPORT.

The Pimp System
by: Jackie

I agree w/ David. To me, The Child Support System is not out for the children at all, their out to simply pull more money into the system for Federal reasons and that in it's self is very sad. I think it's horrible the way the system allows Mothers to drag men through the dirt. (Speaking from a Single Mother - Myself) I have seen men almost have a nervous break down because of what the system puts them through. Even though my childrens father doesn't help me, I stand as a Mother 1st - then as a Woman! I refuse to let the system drag me in and out of the courts and to yet bring another man down to satisfy them instead of the child(ren). Some women use the system as a weapon just to hurt their kids father because of personal hurt or just for "get back". I have personally seen women lie in the courts to have men locked up or to get more money, and the courts never even want to listen to the father. I think it's sad and there really needs to be some changes w/ the system. I don't even call it Child Support anymore - I call it " PIMPIN"!

Good Luck
by: David

All I can say is that this is more about money than it is politics. The fact is that "all" Family Law attorneys are part of the system whether you pay for one or not. Obviously, your husband pays more through the system than the mother ever will. That's why it's hard for a man to win custody. To do so, she has to willingly give up custody or you have to prove she's unfit. Being that she's getting $1000.00 a month, it's not likely she will give up her daughter. So, the system will actually help her fight. They won't admit representing the mother and always claim to operate in the "child's best interest". What they don't want to happen is see less money going through their system to which secures more federal funding. As far as a good attorney when it comes to child support; there isn't one!

If you are successful in gaining custody....TAKE AS MUCH MONEY FROM THE MOTHER AS YOU CAN. As you know, the system will do it to your husband and all other non-custodial parents.

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