Struggling Dad

by Ed
(Houston TX USA)

My divorce took place in 2002. I was awarded custody of our two daughters. My ex was supposed to pay $200 per month. That number being so low because she had never been able to maintain a job for more than 4-6 months at a stretch and was unemployed at the time of divorce. She had no established residence either. At the time, I was told we could either go through the Texas AG office or just have her pay me directly. Since I knew it was going to be very unlikely she'd be able to meet her obligation, keep a job, etc. I agreed to have her pay me directly. I knew full well I would not be paid regularly if at all but I was not worried about that. I didn't "need" her money and I couldn't see any good coming out of her going to jail for non-payment if the State was involved.

Things were going fine, I was making good money (still am) and then she started to get her life on track, or so it seemed. My kids were still young and during the summer months, they stayed with their mom most of the time because I worked and couldn't take time off and I didn't want them home alone all day at such a young age. During school time I had day care for my youngest and my oldest took the bus to mom's afterwards. As I suspected she nickel and dimed me on payments and even wanted me to help her out when the kids went to stay with her for extended periods. Then in 2006 she re-married and wanted our kids to move in with her new family along with my ex step-daughter. My girls were getting older and we all talked and the girls really wanted to be with mom and their half-sister and new step-brother and step-sister. Besides, my oldest had a learning problem and the schools were my ex lived had much better programs for her than the ones where I am. I reluctantly agreed to give her custody, signed some papers and that was that. She told me she would not go through the AG office for her child support.

That was a lie. I got a letter stating they would be taking $675 a month from my pay. It would be garnished from my wages as soon as the forms were processed between the court and my employer. What I didn't figure out was that until all that was ironed out I was supposed to start paying immediately. It took over 2 months before my checks were garnished and by that time I was informed that I was in arrears for over $2000 and now I had to pay an additional $75 a month on top of my "regular" child support for a total of $750. Did I ever get any of her arrears?? NO. Did I get credit for her arrears?? NO. I did that for two years and even paid a little more to knock off some interest and pay it down early. I went to having almost no worries about money one day to struggling to have enough left over to feed my kids when they visited the next. Finally in 2008 I was caught up and my payments went down to $675. I have had a couple C.O.L. raises during this time.

Nothing to write home about but it seemed like this year I could finally get a little breathing room. I'd have enough left over at the end of the week to take the kids to a show, or buy them something a little extra or God forbid get myself something. The today I hear from my ex that she got a letter for the AG saying that they are going to review our case and make a payment adjustment. By my figures, I will be right back where I was two years ago living check to check. Oh and by the way, the ex's second marriage has been over for a year now and she still has not done anything to earn an income on her own. Now I'm too broke to afford an attorney to do battle with her.


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