Take from one to feed another?

by Paul
(San Jose, CA)

I am a single father that has custody of two boys from a previous relationship. I have a daughter that I am paying child support for and who lives in another state. Her mother has denied me visitation or even any kind of communication with my daughter since she was 3 years old she is now 14 yrs old. I have tried everything in my power to acquire some type of visitation and even have requested help from the state with no results whatsoever. I was laid off in 2009 and have not been able to acquire any type of stable employment.

During that time I paid my child support on time month after month year after year, I even had to go to court when my ex requested a increase for support and at which time I explained how I was unemployed with 2 children and my UI benefits had run out. The judge then offered to stop payments all together until I could find a stable job. Being the person that i am I declined that offer and requested to pay something as she is still my daughter no matter how ugly a person her mother was and agreed to pay $50 dollars a month. She agreed to this and informed me that if I had ever got to the point were I could not afford that payment to return to the court and let her know. I hate to say it but I regret EVER making that agreement with the state as it has made my life hell up to this point.

When I could not pay the support on time I would get the calls and when I did, it was always expected to be ridiculed by my appointed CS agent about how low of a payment that was and how I was not stepping up to my responsibilities as a father. I always had to remind them of my two boys I had in my custody and even so they never seemed to care.

So as time went on, my bank account balance steadily declined, I tried to manage by taking on side jobs and doing tasks for people I knew but it just wasn't enough, food, school supplies, bills, they all just add up. I then turned to CS to inform them of my situation and that I needed to see the judge. Not to my surprise my agent had me jump through hoops as I needed to fill out a financial declaration form, then send it to an office where it could take up to 5 -9 months to get an answer... this is ridiculous.

I informed her of my situation and that i did not have that much time and that i was afraid of getting behind and having my license suspended. She assured me that she would not let that happen and so I went forward with filling out the form and sending them in. After about 3 weeks I called in again to make sure that they had received it and the reply I received from her confirmed my original thoughts about CSS. They in fact had not received it and instead of maybe trying to see if it was hung up somewhere she simply informed me to send it again.

That means i would have to wait till they sent me the forms (at that time there website seemed to have been put together by a high school student and did not have the ability for people to download forms) Unfortunately I had no other choice but to wait and do this again.

By this time I had no other choice but to move into a family members home and that just prolonged the procedure as address's where changed. Right before we moved I received a letter from the DMV informing me that my license will be suspended within 20 days. I immediately contacted my CS agent and I informed her of what I received she responded (very rudely) that there was nothing she can do and I just need to make the payments.

I could not believe this lady... these people can give 2 ****** about people and not care about what they do to other children?!! even when I told her what she was doing to my two sons all she could say was, "there is nothing I can do for you, good luck" and then hung up on me. On top of this they garnished money from my bank account (what i had to pay rent and bills)and have left me with less than $1200 to survive off of.

I am now driving my boys to school unlicensed and just don't know what to do, my sons are in high school now and go to school in clothes I bought from the goodwill, I do as many side jobs as I can but it just doesn't cut it, I don't live in the area where my case was opened and anyone I call keeps directing me back to my case agent. I just don't know what to do.

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