The system sucks

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The system sucks

by DG
(Corpus Christi, TX, USA)

I took a job with a pay cut and hired a wuss of an attorney to get my child support modified. Without going into too much detail, my child support was going to drop by $500 bucks a month. Great, I thought! However, the judge felt that it was "too much" of a drop in child support, therefore ordered me to pay an extra $200 dollars a month instead. So basically, I am paying more than 20% for one child despite the fact that the Texas Statutes say it's 20% for one child. I always get screwed by the system and I have never onced missed a payment since 2004.

My ex makes over $20 dollars an hour and her husband, the one whom she cheated on me with, also makes good money. And they only have my daughter living with them. I am the bread winner in my family and we have a household of 4...go figure. What bothers me so much is that my ex is an evil witch.

In the past, she has denied my children to me on many occassions and has turned them against me and this judge felt the need to help her?? As a matter of fact, I was supposed to get my daughter for the Christmas holidays, which was the day after court, and my ex denied my visitation! So I don't get her this year for Christmas even though it was my turn.

But I can't do anything about it without continuing to battle her in court and I literally cannot afford it since I'm now in debt due to my pay cut and the extra money I paid in child support for the last 8 months. Besides, my attorney had no balls and seemed afraid to speak to the judge while in court. Won't ever use him again. Bottom line, the system sucks! Laws aren't followed and it seems like the "woman" always gets favored.

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The system sucks

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@What Ever
by: Anonymous

You make $20 an hour and you have that many spelling and grammar errors! Ha! I think your lack of education shows just how dumb you have to be to think that's a fair judgement! THEY'RE is what you mean to spell when you say "there". Wow I see you're one of those women who get by on having more and more kids! Maybe YOU should have chosen a better baby daddy and not been so easy!

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wrap it up... (Not all fathers are dads)
by: Anonymous

karma... you watch too much earl!
You can't see the unfairness in the system? The sadness and hopelessness a dad feels that has no control over his hard earned money and visitation of HIS kids? WE DON'T OWE YOU!!! Child support is for the children, not for you to be able to live beyond your means! Lastly, men that WANT to be dads should be allowed to do so! (And the law should ensure it!)
Women like that can never find happiness. And, for whatever reason, you blame your kids father! Forever! WTF?!
I have been divorced for around 13 yrs now. My ex had several affairs throughout our 15yr marriage, stayed home as a "full-time mom" while I went to school FT and worked FT, ran off and left me with the kids when they were young, and still managed to come back and become custodial parent of our children. All of this because one of her new men paid her bills and hired her an attorney for court. I had no money to speak of at the time and could not afford an attorney. For the next 4yrs I paid 36% of my salary based on my net income. But, as it turns out, it was actually 61% of my gross income, plus insurance. (Figure that one out!) Throughout the last 10yrs or so, she has taken me back to court every time I get any increase in income based on overtime or advancement in my career. I told the judge last time that I didn't get that much OT anymore because of a change in my field. She said, "Get a second job!" Unbelievable!
She has even given me the kids multiple times because she could not "handle" them. I had custody of them for 3 of those yrs. She never paid me a dime. I pay around $2020 a month in support, but not child support. It is labeled child support, but most of it is spent on her nails, car payment, house payment, etc. I know this because the courts allowed her credit card and department store charge cards as evidence when showing how "broke" she was. I realize that kids need things like food, shelter, clothing, etc., but when these things were needed, I would get a call from the child. Dad, I need..., Mom said call.
So, you tell me it's fair that I be punished continuously because this woman is still angry with me because she was lonely when I had to go to school and work. (BTW... I also played with kids, bathed kids, cleaned the house, cooked, and attempted to give her attention too.)
I am heart broken over missing parts of my kids life I can never get back. She has taken a part of me. I used to be bitter and full of hatred, but since that's not healthy, I had to let that go.
NO, the system is not fair! Dads always get the shaft! Not all dads are equal.
My kids are almost grown now and even as bitter sweet as it is, I now have to correct them when they tell me how much they "hate" their mother, or talk to her like she is a dog!
Remember... These women make their bed and they must lie in it forever. What goes around, comes around!

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wrap it up
by: Anonymous

serves you right for purposely getting a job cut to pay less cs to your daughter. its called karma..

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Find The RIght Attorney To Represent You
by: Anonymous

You need to hire an attorney who is competent in child support laws and who will work with you with zeal. There are excellent attorneys out there; take your time and find one.

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I see so many complaints
by: Anonymous

I know the system really sucks.
The fathers, who usually are NCP, are dead-beat.
Judges sucks and lawyers are blood-suckers.
I have experienced in Texas and in other state too.

So, what do you do, people? Just seat and complain?
You will need do some action? what action? I dunno. But, we will have to try to find out what to do....not for individual, but TOGETHER.

One of American's great problems is that they only care about their own life, so called individualism. You can't fight against the system by yourself. It has to be TOGATHER. Even fighting together is not easy.

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the devil are working in tx
by: Anonymous

well i am not here to comment on any one are pass judgement but i pay 259 dollars a week for three but one thing wrong they did not add my son to it that live with me so now i work more hrs because they take 259 a week then i bring home 85 for my son then i have a lawyer paying to modify he just wont money now i got to figure out how to keep above water the devil trying very hard to keep me down only one thing wrong i dont give up something will happen for the best may god bless us all some times its not the man its who u choose to lay down with put i feel it will work out

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Response to 2nd comment
by: Anonymous

You are an idiot. You talk about your fiance and you.. Just wait till your other cheats on you. Will you stay with them just to avoid child support? You are naive and stupid to compare yourself to others. That just shows how ignorant you really are. I pay child support for a kid that the mom and her husband said he wanted to raise as his own. Well, guess what, 14 years later and 2 trips to drug rehab, now they're suing me o child support. I have twokids with genius IQs. One is in Harvard and the other goes to Private H.S. ($30k/yr). So she was hates the fact that I can parent and she cannot. I feel sorry for the kid. I am doing my best to help him recover, but they did some major damage. If I would have known that, I would not have agreed to let them raise him without me. I guess that's one why reason why we shouldn't sleep with strippers....

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grey area
by: Anonymous

This is in responce to the second poster who stated that the guy shouldn't have had more kids if he couldn't afford them. My ex wife and I discussed having kids before we got married and agreed not to, then she changed her mind and just decided to stop taking her birth control without my knowledge. When our son was almost 3 agian we discussed having another child & I informed her that I was happy with the way things were. She again decided she was going to get what she wanted despite my wishes. Now even though she is the one who wanted the kids, she lied to me and sabotaged my efforts not to have any, she has no problem taking every penny she can from me. It is not always the man's fault and your comments just show how ignorant and one sided you are. Not everything is as cut and dry as you would like to believe.

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What ever
by: Anonymous

OMG you so sound like my kids dad... if you knew you couldnt pay child support you shouldnt of had more kids.... i am a single parent.. i dont get any child support cause the system is so shitty and is taking them a whole yr to give me a court date... My kids dad is such a loser. I would just be happy if he would pay some support and see the kids every other weekend..he takes paycuts so he dont have to pay support for his kids crys about me droping the kids off cause he dont have no money... but his girlfriend cant even help him by looking for a job... and he is the only one making money... it doesnt matter if the mother makes over 20 hr.. and her husband makes good money too.. there your kids and you have to support them ... money doesnt grow on trees and she is raising your kids. That cost money and more of what your giving her... i make about 20hr and so does my fiancee so that make us able to raise them .. and there kids dad say were rich cause we make good money .. wat ever yall men just need to get a better job and pay your support without complaining about it.

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"The Dad is the deadbeat" no matter what
by: Anonymous

My husband has a child with another women, out of wed lock on a one night stand. Both of them are in the Military. He was ordered to pay 1100 a month for his son. She had taken the Child to California when we live in North Carolina making visitations impossible and because of the amount we pay and the fact we have two children together we cant afford to fly.
My biggest problem is not having to pay the support but the amount. They are both military so housing is provided or money is provided to cover housing, so with her reciving 1100 a month in support I can honestly say its way too much.
Everytime we have gone to court he has been looked at as the dead beat and he has never once missed a payment.
The system does suck and the lawyers can be just as bad. I hate the fact the Mothers are viewed as the victim in it all and I say this from both sides, I have a child out side of my husbands and I's marriage and I recive child support but we agreed on it and we agreed on custody. (although after he married, He has only seen our son once in 3 years and he lives 30 minuets away, I used to call once a week to see if he want to see him and it was always no)
Regardless of that though the system sucks it really does.

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The system sucks

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The system sucks