The wife of a man with kids not mine


(OHIO)

I am a stepmother to 7 kids, who all have different mothers. I took on the task of being married to a man as well as the 7 women he had kids with before we met and married. I will say this. The mothers are women who use their seeds are pawns in the "battle to win my husband back." If you come see me, I won't take you to court. If you don't buy the kid shoes, pay school fees, I'll go to court and up the child support. My husband has paid all his orders for years and years...... until the day came when one mother ( drug addict) and the other one(mental issues) called and said, hey come get the kids, I'll give you custody, I can't take care of them anymore. So now we have custody (FULL CUSTODY) of two kids plus our own. In the past, we have done the suspended license thing, the 30 days in jail thing, the going back and forth to court because mothers refused visitation.

Been there done that, lived through it. So now.. that the mothers are the NON CUSTODIAL PARENT WITH VISITATION, do they show up on consistent basis? NO. My husband, being the man he is, told the courts he did NOT want child support, he wanted the mothers to be parents and deal with him accordingly out of court.

Do these women you know, help pay for sports, buy feminine products, or even ask if their kid has any needs that need to be addressed? NOPE. My husband filed charges against one of the mothers for using drugs and being on drugs around the kid...... proof with pictures, etc. The court stated HERESY and threw it out. My husband begged the court to give court ordered drug testing, make her show she's no addict..... NOPE.

Court stated there was NO NEED. So, after 8 years of living through these women tearing my husband apart, they get off scot-free. All while these kids look to me to be the mother they want their real mother to be. I embrace the position I was given. But women make me ill.I hate that the State of Ohio gives men that try and fight and pay and parent the cold shoulder. Now.... after all this time. My husbnad's wages are being garnished because one of the mom's was on welfare( And still is) for back support.

He was petitioned the court to make what is garnished taken off what he owes, and the mother not get it, as she does not have the child nor does she have custody. THe court's reposnse was, she is entitled to that money. HOW? See gets money for a kid she doesn't see or provide for?!!! A REAL WOMAN WOULD SAY I DONT WANT THIS MONEY. MY CHILD NEEDS IT IN THE HOUSE SHE LIVES IN. BUt nope, it pays for her tanning, clothes and new car. SICKENING.

My motto to men is this: If you don't want to deal with her, for the REST OF YOUR LIFE, wear a rubber. Use plastic wrap, ANYTHING TO PROTECT YOURSELF. Use caution before you lay down with a woman. Someone that looks good at the club will show her true self as soon as that kid pops out. And then you'll have no one to blame but yourself. You cannot blame the woman, you took the risk and now have to deal with it. I wouldn't trade my kids ( the only steps in my house go downstairs) for anything. But I do wish my husband had had enough insight to think twice about who he chose to procreate with. It's been a nightmare.

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i can see it
by: Anonymous

I am engaged to a man that has a son now 11. We have been raising him together since he was 2. We pay his mother child support. She makes no real effort to see him or spend time with him, she has had one night stands that resulted in more children, she does not call him on holidays, come to parent teacher stuff, pay for any medical/dental, we too should be the ones getting child support. At this point we just have to let it go- yes it is frustrating that we work hard and give her our money but at least we know he has everything he needs with us. She is a dead beat mother- they are real - and some of them are much worse then any dead beat dad. She claims him to get food stamps- she uses him at tax time as a dependent to get the money- nothing we do seems to matter- she is the mother in the eyes of the courts and the state.

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....
by: Anonymous

"You are kidding, right? Your husband obviously practiced unsafe sex with atleast 7 different women, produced children and you think you husband is some victim and these seven evil women are the problem? You are a sucker! No smart woman would be involved with such a low life hog. You are one naive, delusional female....wow...."


Translation: I need more money for that nail appointment Tuesday.....

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those 7 women couldn't all be bad
by: Anonymous

I selute you for the heart you have if u treat those kids as your own but I find it hard to believe that your husband is such a victom and all 7 women are just bad,yes his not perfect But 7, either a player hopefully a renewed 1 and not cheating on you currently Trust me men can Pretend to be somthinh they not may I ask how old is he with 7kids so was he releasing. A child every year? Meanin he didn't support any of the mothers during pregnancies and after giving birth ...! Shame thosse ladies....there's always 2 sides to a story

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be nice
by: former single mom

diane..... I see your point. but I've been there before...delusional thinking I would be the woman who could change him. he had 2 kids by two woman and I helped him pay for child support and care for his son during visits. I was naive and I finally saw the light and left. 3 days later I found out I was pregnant. I begged him to get help to be a better person. I didn't work for me but maybe this womans husband has realized his short comings and stepped up. after all he has taken custody of 2 without requesting child support. he should have filed for child support. it would likely come off of what he owes. anyways. being that we arent a fly on the wall of their kitchen...im giving her the benefit of the doubt and praying that it works out for her. hang in there.

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In a similar situation.
by: Anonymous

I feel you! I'm in a similar situation. However being married into it, you can only do so much. If he's fighting back, more power to him. It could be worse if he sat back and did next to nothing!
It makes you wonder a lot why when you see the father just blow stuff off. You wonder if he wouldn't fight for you either.

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Kudos
by: Anonymous

I can agree that a "real" woman would do whatever it takes to provide for her child(ren). I can also say that a "real" woman wouldn't give up her rights as a mother. A "real" woman wouldn't abuse drugs, let alone in front of her own children. A "real" woman wouldn't use her own kids as a pawn to get more child support because of the psychological damage it does to these kids that get put in the middle when they never had a choice to begin with.

This lady's husband may have 7 kids with different women, but who doesn't make mistakes? Are you a perfect person? Not by a long shot. We all make mistakes as human beings.

You sound like you know or are one of these women who have been through a bitter divorce and can't get over it. Obviously or you wouldn't be looking at divorce forums. You bitter women need to grow up and learn to get over your personal issues you have with your ex husbands because this is the exact behavior that tears down your children and alienates them from the "real" dads who participate in their kids' lives and pay their child support!

I understand that everyone's story is different, but don't you think this woman diserves a little credit for sticking it through and being a positive role model for these kids?

You bitter women let your personal issues get in the way and tend to forget about what is important, the well-being of your child! Learn to put them first and stop being selfish!

And as for the lady who posted, kudos to you for staying strong and being a positive role model for these kids!

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"real woman"
by: Diane

A "real" woman would fight like hell to make sure her child is taken care of the way it deserves to be. Do you have kids with this clown too? You think you won't be one of the others some day? You are an embarassment to women.

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Stupid woman
by: Diane

You are kidding, right? Your husband obviously practiced unsafe sex with atleast 7 different women, produced children and you think you husband is some victim and these seven evil women are the problem? You are a sucker! No smart woman would be involved with such a low life hog. You are one naive, delusional female....wow....

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