Time to change the laws

by Mrs. Weibel
(PA)

I received a letter today saying that because my son's father is unemployed and living off welfare our child support is being put on hold and what he should be paying on a weekly basis will be void. Meaning he will never be held responsible for what he should be paying. I called PA domestic relations to ask if there is a time limit for this and the lady informed me that sadly there wasn't. So, basically he can be unemployed for five years and will never have to pay child support for that time. How is that right? I live in PA but he lives in NY. The NY welfare system is paying for him to go to colledge, paying for his rent, and gives him food stamps.

Another thing I was not aware of is that your spouses income is considered in determining child support and I do not understand this eithor. I am fortunate to having a wonderful husband that has helped me raise my son since he was one but I do not think his income should be used in determining how much support should be payed. Plan and simple, my son's father should be responsible for his share of the financial responsibility of raising our son.

I am so glad I have married a wonderful man that does more than his share of helping to support our family. But, I have to wonder what would be different if I was single and stuggeling to get by. I think it's time that PA looks at these laws and makes some changes. I wish I knew how to fight to have them changed because I would. Thanks for listening.

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May 02, 2012
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The Flip side of the story...(continued)
by: Anonymous

This being said, her drug abusing husband actually is a civil engineer making $80,000 a year! Im not one to try and take from a step parent, but when my wife works 50 hours a week, on top of my 50 hours a week(and we have a 4 month old baby, I might add), so that we can ensure our family is taken care of. Then by all means this law should be enforced....however, in this case I was denied that too. So since I strive to make something of myself, I am basically penalized, while the law allows and ENCOURAGES non-motivated, lazy, and irresponsible parents to have all visitation and accompanying rights to their children and yet not do anything to support them. By no means do I make a lot of money, lets just say that her husband makes 10,000 less a year than my wife and I combined! Its a monstrosity that the law allows this to happen. With all these same scenarios and formulas, if she was the custodial parent, and she was receiving child support from me (under the new laws), I would be paying her $1400 a month!! How does 90 days (25% of overnights a year)constitute a reduction in child support of $600 a month?? I am completely baffled by who thought this through. I would love feedback from anyone who might know how to began the process of having these laws revisited by the State of Florida. Just like I fought tooth and nail for my children, and 10 months of which with no legal representation, I will give the same dedication to seeing these laws changed. There must be a fair system put into place for parents who are in a situation such as me. We can not allow mothers or fathers to sit back and not take care of their children....especially when the court allows them the same rights and privileges as those parents who go above and beyond. In the end I am sure my wife would love the same opportunity that the ex has, to stay home to raise our 4 month old baby. Yet with the courts being the way they are that could never happen because the childrens mother's 24% doesn't even pay for one child to attend daycare for three days, or for one child to have healthcare for a month. Must be nice being a deadbeat.....I wonder what the courts would do if I went back to them for readjustment because I chose to not work ever again from this day on out.....

May 02, 2012
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The Flip side of the story...
by: C. Etheridge

I am a father of 4 beautiful children. The mother of my 3 oldest children decided that shooting prescription drugs in her veins with her new husband was more important than the care and welfare of our children, and they were removed from her care by the state of FL. In July 2011, after 12 months and $20,000 in legal fees, I won primary time-sharing of my 3 oldest children. I spent another 10 months with no legal representation, in and out court trying to get all the final touches on custody and child support established. For the 4 years prior to my gaining custody, I voluntarily paid $1000 a month which was the max amount of child support (laws were different in 2005 as they are now) that GA required for three children based on my salary ALONE. I also paid 100% of ALL Healthcare, dental, vision, daycare, and all non-covered expenses. To include a $570 car payment per order from our divorce. As of April this year, I finally received my Order establishing child support from the mother. To my dismay she will be responsible for $162 a month to help support her children. My issue is not with my Judge, but the FL state laws themselves. Support is established by an amount set based on the NET income combined by both parents and the percentage of which each parent contributes to that total monthly NET income. I am 76% and she is 24%. That number comes out to her support being $576/mo. But wait...Fl also has a 20% rule stating that if the non custodial parent has at least 20% of overnights a year that there obligation is reduced per every 1% over that. Since she is technically entitled to 90 days a year, that now formulates ME PAYING HER $30 in support a month!! The reason I receive the $162 is because she then is responsible for the same 24% of healthcare and daycare costs each month, which equals $192....less the $30 = a grand total of $162. When my oldest reaches 18 in 2020, her support obligation will drop to a mere $50/mo!!!! Since she does not work, nor has she for the past two years...voluntarily I may add. Her income was imputed as minimum wage ($7.67), even with FL statute dictating that her prior income($12)should be imputed if voluntarily not employed and her skills are such as to support that level of pay. She blatantly told the judge at our child support hearing that she will NOT work, and she refuses to try and find a job because she has a 1 year old child she wants to stay home with. FL statute also says that "if the existence of such subsequent children is raised, the income of the other parent of the subsequent children shall be considered by the court in determining whether or not there is a basis for deviation from the guideline amount."

Apr 30, 2012
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Time to change the laws
by: Mrs. Weibel

I forgot all about this post I made and out of the blue just got an e-mail letting me know people were responding so I would like to respond in hopes it will be sent to all of you with the negitive comments so that I can clarify.
I am in no way asking for a handout or more money for my own personal needs. This is completely about the support my son deserves from his father. It is not at all that I need the money to help raise him and in fact IF he actually did pay support the money would be put into an account for my son's future. I do have a good job as does my husband so it is not about us needing the money, it is about what the right thing to do is.
It is also not about the fact that he has a good work record and is currently just out of work. He is on welfare doing nothing and according to him it is because he has a doctors note saying he is disabled but will not apply for disability because he would "have to pay me and that's not fair", as he puts it. And to further clarify. He has five kids with five different women, my son being the oldest. He has custody of and cares for only one with the welfare he recieves. The rest get nothing.
I understand that there may be more to being a parent but he has done nothing else either. He has not shown a real interest in my son since the day he's been born. I do agree that men that take time to spend with their children are in their own way good parents but there is more to being a parent than just spending time with them. It is also about supporting your children financially.

Apr 22, 2012
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really?
by: Anonymous

i think 80% of the mothers would give custody up if it wasnt for the extra paycheck....most mothers are way overpaid to care for these children and all they do is bitch. Yes im a mother and child support is overrated- I say this to all the greedy "bAby mammas" ....get a better job and quit bitching!!!

Apr 12, 2012
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DOMESTIC RELATIONS IS A JOKE!!!
by: Anonymous

My soon to be ex is ordered to pay child support, provide medical benefits for me and the kids and pay 65% of all bills not covered by child support.He only pays the child support because I have it garnished.He pays nothing else.When told by the trustee in court that he was responsible to pay for these things for his children because they were his children he told her"I don't give a fuck whose children they are, Im not paying for any of this!"He recently quit his job making good money with free medical benefits to take a job making significanlty less money where he must pay into medical,so he could get his child support lowered.He cancelled our insurance, which I found out when I took my daughter to the doctor.I have a court order that is signed by a judge that states that he must provide insurance and no one will enforce it.He told our daughter that he has the money but he just won't pay it and that she is on her own.I have to pay for everything up front out of my pocket and when I submit my bills to domestic relations he is ordered to pay an extra $20 a month!I can't get on a payment plan for everything that they need but he can.He refuses to pay for our daughter to get braces because he believes that it is a scam.Domestic relations then tells me that they cannot force him to provide the medical benefits because they are costly and that I can get state medical for them,which sucks.I don't understand it is court ordered!They charge me a $25/year fee for mailings that I never receive from them and if I want to fight this I have to take a day off work,lose money and go to court for what?So that a jusge can sign an order they won't enforce anyway?And get this she is $8000 behind on her child support and does not provide medical insurance for her children that she is court ordered to do and she's not in jail and has not had her license suspended!There are numerous other stories from other women in the area going through the same thing,one whose daughter's father has been before the judge 27 times for failure to pay child support and has never been thrown in jail or had his license suspended and another whose children's father doesn't pay his support but yet a judge told her that he still gets to see his kids whenever even though it interferes with her one daughter making communion,and the judge told her that she needed to switch churches or religions to accomodate him.I thought that this was about doing what was in the best interests of the children?I thought that these children were entitled to have the same quality of life as they did before separation or divorce?The kids didn't ask for this so why are they the ones suffering? Think about how much of the national debt would go away if domestic relations would just enforce the court orders? Millions of families would come off of state medical and welfare if domestic relations was doing their jobs effectively and correctly!!

Mar 21, 2012
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Financial responsibility according to who
by: Anonymous

You are absolutely right!! I am a wife of a man who pays on time every month and never misses a day with his children, yet always gets the shaft because the child support laws are so one sided. They do everything they can to make sure money is taken from these men but don't do enough to make sure the money is spent on those children's' needs. These women want support to help with the children when they are in their care and they should receive it, but what about when the they are in the care of the father? Where is his help??? 50/50 right ladies??? Or do you think only you deserve the financial support? My husband has his children 40% of the time, pays child support, pays half of everything, pays for things the mother refuses to pay for, and takes full financial responsibility for them when they are with us, where's the 50/50 in that? What women don't concept is that they are getting away with paying less than half of everything because they are getting money from the father and using that money as "their half" of the child's bills so in actuality the father is assuming most if not all the financial responsibility for the children and still having to be slandered around town and in court. The mothers always make it about money when that has nothing to do with being a good father, being a good father is bonding with the children spending quality time with them and being their for emotional support. Remember what is most important Ladies!!! It is definitely not money I am sure your kids would agree!!! People do fall on hard times, just as it is viewed unfair for him not to pay while he has no job, it is unfair for someone who makes great money to pay thousands of dollars a month for 18 years when 9 times out of 10 the children do not see every dime of that money like it is intended. It is called CHILD support not BABY MAMA support and it doesn't take $5000 a month to support or raise a child.

Jan 20, 2011
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ummm
by: Anonymous

my situation is a little different. im a single mother from iowa. im working full time as a nurses aide and im also going to school for my rn. the ex works on the pipeline and gets away with paying 32 bucks a month when he does pay. ive contacted child support office to report he does work and make near 2 grand a week and when they locate him he moves job sites. it frustrating bc i depend on that money for groceries and child care. what i make myself barely covers bills. i was only looking up on here how long a male can go without paying before action is taken place bc its been a few months since hes paid

Jun 14, 2010
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"According To The Fact That He Helped Make A CHILD...moron."
by: Common Sense

To the guy who said, "According to who?" You're a dumb person. It's called "cause and effect". If you have sex and impregnate a woman, that makes you AT LEAST 50% financially responsible for the care of that child. That woman's new husband is not responsible for that child's well being...it's the responsibility of the jobless father of that kid to "make it happen." If the father had full custody of the child, and he didn't have a job, wouldn't he STILL need to feed, clothe, house, medicate (because kids need medicine when they're sick...I know! Who knew??? lol), educate, and a WHOLE list of other responsibilities? If he CAN'T pay, then he should have thought of that before having sex...but God forbid this man has to suffer the effects of what he caused. Tisk, tisk, tisk.

Jun 10, 2010
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If he doesn't work...
by: Anonymous

Then he probably chose not to work. Fat, lazy people are being allowed to breed, and not held responsible for their actions. Law won't do much. Time to take matters in you own hands: Joe Pesci Style.

Jun 10, 2010
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Your ex is a loser
by: Anonymous

You are absolutely right. The fact that you have stepped up and are shouldering the burden should not relieve him in any sort of way. Why should he benefit from your hard work? If you took his same attitude your child would be in the care of the state. Has this escaped everyones attention? As with most of these cases, this seems to have become more of a moral issue than a legal one. Contact your district represenative and tell him what's going on.

May 05, 2010
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he needs to get a job
by: Anonymous

Well he needs to GET a job. From your post I can assume you are probably a deadbeat dad.

Mar 05, 2010
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financial responsablity according to who?
by: Anonymous

Accoriding to you? The judge? The guy don't have a job. He CAN'T pay. And according to you your "wonderful" husband and yourself aren't wanting for any. Think before you speak. I think you just hold a grudge against him. I think women like you are the reason so many decent fathers are getting the shaft.

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