Tired n fed up dad

by Jon Epling
(Sacramento, CA)

My experience with the family court system is one and the same and I could probably write a book on it, in it's self. But instead I'll try to make it as short as possible and to the point. I raised my daughter for a year basically on my own as her mother came and went and was sent to jail on domestic violence for attempting to kick me out of our house that I was paying for completely I had enough and decided to file papers for custody of our daughter.

I lost was given 30% custody and was told to be happy with what I got because most don't even have that which apparently isn't far from the truth. Three years of not giving up I know have joint custody but it wasn't easy or cheap first and foremost I learned I'm not alone the key is finding organization in your county or state who are willing to help fight for your right's dad's right to be a father and go through the hoops to the end.

In CA, I felt the underlying feeling every time I went to court that the thought is the mother is the ideal person for raising our youth. I had to prove every allegation wrong time and time again whereas her position was never questioned and actually was given the benefit of the doubt. To this day our child is second,third in her life whereas I am the one taking her to all doctor visits, dental, only participate in child's school etc.I'm not here to brag or bad mouth anyone other than to state that if a father wants to be part of their child's life they should be given the chance and shouldn't be penalized for wanting to be.

The system should be about co-parenting and what's in the best interest of the child rather than cash account for the state or those who will manipulate the system for their own financial gain. To raise a child pay child support and come up with attorney fees to fight and unjust court decision is wrong but nothing seems to be changing and the unfit mothers are aware of it and some are using it to their advantage without any remorse. I was overpaying child support for years and had my wages garneshed and until I went to court they continued to charge me what they will a joke.

I won that case she owes me child support now but at what cost why was this ever even allowed the system doesn't care the state gets paid and continues to expand on its building to benefit who it wasn't me or my child???
In sacramento, J.Banta a resource for fathers group helped me be part of my babies life and for them I am forever grateful, Find a group in your county that supports father go through their program and watch the doors slowly open wont happen overnight but well worth it.