To all Non Custodial Parents!

by STEPMOTHER OF 3
(Texas)

As I have been reading these blogs, I realize most of you have come across the same problems with the Texas Attorney General. I have a way to solve it, or help you with your situation. It is called change.org, they want Ideas to be voted on to Be presented to President elect Obama on his inauguration day. Now here are just a few examples of ones that we as Non-Custodial parents should look at and vote for. Or maybe you want to summit your own Idea.

1. Non-Custodial Parent Income Tax Credit.
2. Non-Custodial Parents who pay Child Support and is Responsible for more then 50% of the child’s expenses should be entitled to that percentage of the earned child income credit given to parents.


Start policing our Government assistance programs!
Start cutting back on government programs to people that just want the taxpayers to pay there way, like food stamps, unemployment, and child support. Don't get me wrong there great programs but 99% use it so they don't have to work. Start cutting the funding to people that won't get off their butts to work. If we policed these programs yes it's going to cost money but in the long run we could start saving Billions of dollars a year. Now as far as child support a majority of custodial parents get the child support payments raised so much that the non-custodial parents themselves couldn’t even survive. While the custodial parents work and collect a check that is supposed to go to the child and doesn't. Make it that the custodial parents are required to show where the money is going each month. There are a lot of custodial parents that use their child support check for everything else except the child. Also the interest rates are so high on the parents that owe back child support that they may never get ahead. So the interest rates need to be lowered.

Now here is the website, lets get our voices heard all the way in Washington so maybe us Non-Custodial parents get treated better instead of like dirt.

http://www.change.org/

Comments for To all Non Custodial Parents!

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Custodial Parent (father) pays Child Support??
by: Anonymous

I have had custody of my daughter for 7 years and after 2 custody hearings in the past 5 years, I have remained the primary, but now I'm ordered to pay child support!! How do Judges come up with these rulings? I have paid for all extracurricular and taken my daughter to all dentist visits/dr. visits, and been at every first day of school, while mom hasn't been to one first day of school and only recently went to a dentist appointment after she petitioned the courts for custody!
This is ridiculous! How can I fix this?

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To The Broke Kid
by: I don't believe in this system

It broke my heart to read The Broke Kid's comment. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I don't think people fully understand how this actually affects children throughout their childhood to adulthood. I'm a custodial parent. My daughter is now 19 almost 20. Her father and I separated when she was 8 months old. We were never married.

He was kind and offered to pay child support because he was in the military at the time and I refused to accept. I didn't care about money. I wanted him to be a dad not Mr. Money Bags. My philosophy on it is and was he could get involved and take care of his responsibilities by being apart of her life as much as he could. If he choose not to be apart of her life, that was his loss and I can support my child on my own. He ended up pressing charges against himself for the support of $200 a month which was the minimum back then. He paid that until he got out of the service due to an injury, she was 8 years old.

I did not pursue him for more support since I didn't want it originally. Yes, it all went to my daughter. That's who it was meant for and that's who it went to. I did the rest by working my bum off. I also never believed in talking ill will about anyone to my child. It is not my place to bestow my opinions and feelings of another person and burden my child with the feeling of being stuck in the middle or feeling like she had to choose between her dad and I, or anyone and I. I felt when she was old enough she can determine her own feelings about people without my influence.

That, and I believe people change over the years; some for the better and some for the worse. Anywho, He called and saw her when he could. I even brought her to see him on serval occasions. All of us are really close including his wife and their children. I'm glad I choose not to be hateful or take advantage of the legal system. I'm glad I had more common sense than most and knew what was more important and beneficial to my child. Children need both their parents in their lives equally. If all possible joint custody should be in order especially if the parents live near the same area, not child support, so children don't have to feel like they are stuck in the middle; be used as weapons against each parent or for money.

My daughter is a happier more successful individual with the choices I made. She owns two business, still chooses to work at a restaurant and chaperon, and is in her first year of college. Parents don't psychologically mess up your kids over money cause that's not what hurts them in the long run, it's you. I now have two step children I have to watch go through what The Broke Kid is going through and as a step parent, I have no legal say in the matter. It breaks my heart because I know they are hurting and all I can do is hug them, let them know I love them, try to make the time we have with them a positive and stress free experience. I'm sorry money should have no place where children's best interest are concerned in divorces or separations!

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custodial parent
by: taking care of mine

being parent is about doing whats best for the child, new boy/girl friends should have nothing to do with the arguement. KEEP the bitterness out and away from the child. child support is set so that the non custodial parent can pay what is his fair (or should be fair) amount. despite if the custodial parent has her own money or not. that shouldnt take away from the non custodial responsibility. i basically been taking care of my son with lil to no help from his father. what lil $130 amount i get is unfair only becasue his dad has two well paying jobs, has money to party, and pay for football games and traveling but can not pay for a box of diapers or wipes. its my job as a parent to pick up where his father falls short. Custodial or non custodial those are just titles, being a parent is more than just a title.

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Custodial family
by: Step dad

I already know the response I will get to this but here I go nonetheless. I am a step dad who loves his step children and his own very much.I care for all of their needs...emotional, physical, spiritual and financial.The problem I see with these statements is that somehow we are forgetting that no blanket rule will work for everyone.For my situation. Bio-Dad won't pay Support.He hides income,lives off girlfriend or current wife,works under the table...Yes child support at times has made his life hard.However,when are we as a society going to stop making excuses for some people and start expecting them to except the responsibility of their actions?The ex ended his marriage with his wife because of adultery.Now you will say this does not alter his relationship with his children...and rightly so.Children need BOTH parents in their lives.But,all exes need to realize that if THEY end a marriage due to infidelity, then they should expect things to be harder.Because it HAS to be harder for someone.So who should get the HARDER?The innocent mate?The children?I'm opting for the one who ended the marriage.Now obviously this does not apply to everyone.Thus i go back to my statement from before...BLANKET RULES DON'T WORK!

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Dead beat
by: Anonymous

I am a single parent with Sole and legal custody. The father opted to go live in Japan when our son was 3 or 4 years old. Has never assisted me with anything and never paid child support. He conveniently moved in with his parents when I was getting ready to deploy in 2010. Me trying to do the right thing allowed our son to stay with his parents, which in hind side was a bad decision. When i got back I filed for child support and rather than manning up and taking responsible, he filed a motion of ligitamation in GA behind my back. I found out though a law firm requesting to represent me. Was not formerly served until almost 6 months later. Its ironic cause the law firm that sent me the letter never returned my phone call, so I honestly think it was a blessing from god. I proactively got a lawyer in GA and in Hawaii where I currently live. His lawyer was his mothers friend and tried to paint me to be a horrible person who filed for child support because he got married (keeping in mind he was married for only 6 months). The truth is I filed for support 5 yrs earlier but he was in Japan and US doesn't have jurisdiction; 2008 I was granted sole physical and legal custody from MA. All while this is going on, never once did him or his parents ask if i needed assistance with clothes, school supplies etc,. Long story short. The judge in GA and MA agreed that proper jurisdiction was in Hawaii where I'm currently stationed. The Judge in Hawaii gave me full legal and physical custody, father has 4 weeks in summer and has to pay all travel expenses and gets1 week during christmas break and has to pay half my airfare to escort our son.

yet he is still fighting me on this. He thinks because i make more money that him, I should pay all travel expenses during summer and christmas vacation. Keeping mind mind that he hasn't pay child support in 11 yrs or provided anything else, i feel its his turn to take the burden and feel what its truly like to be a parent. rather than dragging me through court, should be asking what he can do to assist. Him and his wife still live with his parents and its been really stressful because he's taking money out of my pocket which could be used to support my household, son, transportation, summer activities,etc. THe little money he was ordered to pay last nov doesn't even cover child care provider. I have worked my ass off to get where i am and don't feel because he's doing worse off i should be punished. we all make our beds and have to take responsibility for our actions. Coincidentally, he has two other kids in Japan that he abandoned.

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still paying to dead custodial parent
by: Anonymous

I am a woman and for years of headache and stress paying child support and arrearage both to a man who was impossible to deal with just recently died. Get this I just went to court yesterday and the judge really didn't care anything I had to say , but my grown up daught who is asking for the money to help with funeral expenses. She claims her father knowing he was dieing with cancer throughout his body had made the two grand children benificaries of his life insurance and so she claims she can't use it to pay for his funeral . But she is trying to get it set up as a trust fund for the two grand daughters very young yet. Instead of me getting any rights , he along with the child support attorneys helping her my daughter get this money and trying to get me to agree to it also in the court rooms by saying would that be okay with you , I said no. I feel that my debt be dropped because there was no estate for my ex husband before he died, but my daught is just now applying for a estate.there seems to be no justice what so ever for the non custodial parent. I've had to go to court many times to emanipate my daughters and to get my support charges lowered because of I don't make a lot of money and I'm not young either. I wil be 51 this year no husband or anyone helping me with bills , it's just me trying to stay afloat which my debts keep growning my pay dosen't unfortnatly. I feel wronged , if I get a refund for federal well, it's been going to him for years never do I seem to get a break.

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Holy Jesus are you custodial mothers all nuts?
by: Anonymous

Government .... YOU SUCK!!! I see non custodial fathers homeless because a 2 year old and a 6 year old need 800 a month?! STOP!!! They have no home so they cannot see their kids anymore... YOU ALL FUCKING SUCK ASS!! I hope your kids grow up to hate your guts for what your greed has done to their fathers and how degrading you all are calling the father sperm donors why? Because they screwed up by donating their sperm to your fucked up egg? How dare you!! Guess what, whether you are atheist, Jew, catholic, Christian, Hindu, Mormon or whatever you have a higher power you get to answer to when you die, but worst of all, you will have to answer to your children for hurting their fathers. Call them what you will... Father, sperm donor, SPOUSAL SUPPORTER.... No matter, you opened your legs for the loser!

I hope the entire government blows up so that we can start over! The government is racist against good people. Enjoy your food stamps loser. For those of you custodial parents that sit on their ass and do nothing or think because you popped a couple kids out of your crotch makes you the better parent makes me vomit!

Signed a pissed off woman!

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ex wives
by: Anonymous

How about those ex wives who kick out their husbands for another man? Then when they get a divorce..they live with their lover and yet whant the ex husband to pay child support...I say when divorce happens then both parties should be ordered to work and both prove 20% of their income into the child support system...why should the women sit home on their butts!

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makes no sense
by: Anonymous

I find myself in the middle of things. My husband has a child from a previous relationship which he pays cs on. Fell alittle behind in the beginning but has been caught up for the past 9years. I have 3 children with him and the only upsetting thing with it all is his ex does not work. The longest she has ever gone working is maybe about 3 months. She has another child from another relationship and is not with the father nor does she receive child support from him. She receives foodstamps and lives in housing. Therefore, the little money that she DOES have to pay for on utilities not only is paid from the child support received, but the money goes to my stepdaughter (which of course should) her mother AND her other child as well. I dont understand how a non-custodial parent really is obligated to work to pay for child support; but yet the custodial parent who should be the primary caregiver is able to live off the government and is not obligated to work..makes no sense

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high income non custodial parent
by: Anonymous

i have been a single parent for my son since he was three. . by all accounts i didnt take more then we needed to start over and provide a good life for him/me. i worked to make arg. 159,000. a year and keep us in a life we came from. my son is the joy of my life. i gladly took what they felt i needed. 1700. a month for ten years. (20,500.)with never asking for more. i was happy to care for us with what i made and never ask for more nor ask what they have made. i got cancer about 3 years ago and while i came through it my growth i worked hard for is gone and so is the income i produced. i often ask for help during that time and received answers like to only cash in my savings/retirement to make up the shortage for us to live as we always have. i started to inquire about how for the next ten years we were to live? not giving it to me without a court order he makes 875k plus stock and closed on a 469k home 7 years ago. this child long and short belongs to both of us and his part should have wanted more for our son. i am glad to know the laws support the best life based on what parents make with no more go passes or hirting my child. parents should want the best life for their child regaurdless of where the money comes from.

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In agreement
by: Anonymous

I agree with some of your comments. As a woman paying child support in Texas, the sytem treats you like a man paying child support. I know how the system incorrectly harms the non-custodial parent and the children. What are we going to do as non-custodial parents to get the system changed, overhauled, thrown out or smashed? We need to stop complaining and DO SOMETHING. What can you offer to make this happen?

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YOU GET ONE FAMILY NOT MULTIPLES
by: Anonymous

How about instead of taking a man into your family, you send him back to the one he already is suppose to be taking care of. Then this problem wouldnt continue.

Of course he cant support two households!

Send him back where he belongs!!!

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child support system needs a complete overhual
by: Anonymous

the system that is in place, was developed back in the 70's during the womens right movement. women then depended more on thier bread winning husbands, and when they became separated support was awarded to help maintain living and housing. know days, in the 21st century, women make if not the same more money than their ex's and most of the time live better, but still get the maximum child support when they don't even need it. some women knowing the system is infavored to the best interest of the child,.....will use the system to try and control or to manipulate the non-costodial parent. it is very unfair for a non-costodial parent to take a second job, to try and make up some of the difference to find out in 3 year review that he has to know pay more out of the second job! the system is fuckup! there are far to many bitter women of divorce that care more about bringing karma that the child's best interest. somehow it need's to reflect the income of the costodial parent who in most cases are the women. all the extra things you try and do for your kids, you can't do because of their greed and malice and the system makes it easy. the system need to be revamped to reflect todays living lifestyle, not those of the seventies.

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You are right about everything
by: Anonymous

I agree with all you are saying. I am a non-custodial mother and I was paying child support for three children at one time $770.00 per month. Currently, I have one child left under the order. I make $30,000-$36,000 per year,but after taxes I only take home $1400 per month. After paying bills I only have a few dollars left. The only reason I'm paying child support is my ex-husband is not a man he is only a sperm donor. He bragged to others that he would never pay me child support. When we went for our divorce he and his attorney had a plan of how he would take the children from me. The judge listened to him and me maske $70,000 a year. He works for FOX 4 News locally. I got a bad deal everytime we go went court.I have gotten over the fact that he is not even a real man and I've paid child support. For 5 years I have had trouble with the Texas Attorney Office. Once they talked the judge into putting me in jail because I had sugery and I wasnt able to work for 6 months. The judge asked me why didn't I take the money I got in my divorce and pay the back child support and I explained to him at that time I didn't owe any back child support and he still tried to put me in jail. My attorney stopped the judge. Another thing happened to me is , the AG's office kept reporting an incorrect amount of child support owed. I hired four attorneys and paid out $25,000 to get my name and child support record cleared. This is crazy. I could not travel and I could not apply for other jobs, because all employers do a background check. The AG office needs to pay people whom they have wrecked their lives . I want restitution just like men who are wrongly accused of crimes and have been cleared. I wan this not only for me ,but for all the men who have been wronged. I have just begun writing a book about the system and what needs to be changed. I am looking for people who would like their stories in my book. I can be contacted at fkmartin060206@yahoo.com.

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complaints from custodial parents
by: Anonymous

I am a custodial parent & I agree with the last posted comment. I have a child whose father hasnt paid any $$$$ since the order went into effect in Feb. 2010. I will always be financially supportive to my child. Yes, i want and need help. I filed child support for "responsibility." i declined back child support. I just want the father to understand that if you make a child you should "help" take care of that child. To this day he hasnt & i even provide medical support. I also provide everything else. But i have given it all to god. i "will not" stress over it. We will make it, because i will do what it takes to provide for my child. I assume the role of mother & father. The greastest child support payment that you can give your child from their father....is to "always" be there as their parent. Remember ****It is whats best for the child******not all about the money.


*think....if the lord wanted to take everything that you have yet you still recieved that child support payment........what would you complain about then??????

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Grow Up!
by: Anonymous

To all the custodial parents posting about all the extras you have to pay to care for a child, my question is, if you did not have that child/children would you not have rent or a house note, not have to purchase toilet paper, or groceries. I am a custodial parent myself who does not recieve any child support for my children. I am not using the fact that I have to pay a house note so my kids will have somewhere to live because I have to have somewhere to lay my head at night as well. I knew when I had my children they were my responsibility to take care of and I refuse to spend my life fighting with my ex for a man or women in a black robe to tell him what his responsibilities are. I think what everyone needs to understand, custodial or noncustodial parent, is that instead of spending all your efforts on trying to make the other parent pay to stick it to each other. It is your responsibility to raise your children! As long as you are doing the right thing for your child, God will be the one to ultimately hold them accountable for their decisions. Each individual situation is different so no law will ever be suitable for everyone. Grow up and take care of your kids!

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IT IS NOT....Child Support...AT ALL
by: The Broke Kid

Lets just Call it what it IS!
I am so sick of hearing that Child Support has anything to DO with US Kids!

My Father has paid enough to my Mother that she could have Bought a House With it. She Didn't! We lived in a crappy rent house(she could have paid for almost 3 times) because She couldn't keep two nickles in her pocket that she didn't need a new phone, new cloths, a New Car she couldn't afford or some other crap. Relatives bought us school supplies.
She Swore to us and everyone in Town that Dad didn't pay a dime....and didn't want to see us!
Except the reality was....he paid MOST of the time and helped us Threw those Relatives. Guess what My mother did with the Christmas presents he sent us.....Took them back and spent the money while telling us....he didn't love us.
I am an ADULT now....and it took a long time before I Knew this. I love my Mom....but lets face it.....She happens to be a selfish vindictive person who USED the courts and every wheapon she could to Hurt the man who DID NOT leave her for Cheating! She left HIM....and only wanted custody of us to Hurt him. (nope didn't get a word against her from him until I had found this out from my own Research)
My Dad still owes child support because he got sick, behind on his own bills and simply could not pay. He don't make excuses for it...he hates that he gets the whole DEADBEAT routine.
I moved in with him. We planned on me going to College! I am! I wanted the Child support lifted so we could apply for financial aid, student loans and stuff. Guess what. My brother and I don't get to say Boo about money Supposedly allocated FOR US!
My mom never opened a savings account for us...it was HER money.
Now, if I want to go to College. Dad can Help me...and Be a Deadbeat....or Pay My Pain in the Pocketbook Mother to Drink with her friends. Yes...her beer consumption is So much more important than my education....THank You Nice Government for making That Choice For me!

IT IS NOT CHILD SUPPORT....NEVER WAS!

I Can't discharge the Debt. I can't Get it paid to me for Books and Tuition. My Brother and I and every kid has gotten Screwed by this fake Word.

Call it what it is.

TAX FREE ALIMONY

How many of you would be all Defending this if it was Called what it truly IS?

Not me. I wish my Dad could have Kept the money....He would have Saved it(proved by what he DID save for us) and I wouldn't be wondering How to Pay for my last two years of school!
And MOM....wouldn't be laughing every time she gets some collection service all over us.

Dad's take care of your kids cause you want to....Moms....If you really love your kids....Don't Demand YOUR MONEY...and Pretend it is justifiable. We are not your little pawns...and when we grow up....It Hurts!
Mom's think.....I know my Mom by her Deeds! Is that how you want Your kids to see you?

It's shameful. It's a LIE!


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My husband's worthless ex.
by: Anonymous

I have been married to my husband for 8 years. His ex-wife has custody of their 11 year old. The ex lives in a very nice 4 bedroom house they pay for, they pay for her new SUV, they turn her electric and phone on after she misses the payments every 4 or 5 months. They pay for her cellphone, her clothes, and they also are taking care of the ex's oldest daughter (16) by letting her live with them, but the ex still gets the child support. My husband has paid over $400 a month faithfully and paid for her medical. He was laid off recently. Now the ex is taking us back to court for back child support on the income he should have been paying on and for the medical we should be paying. yet we can't get her to supply us with a copy of what the medical cost for us to reimburse her. This constant court threat from her has been going on the full 8 years. We pay for my stepdaughters school clothes, school supplies, shoes, summer activities, and medical visits when we have receipts. Not to mention our family and the grandparents have her EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND. yet nothing is ever enough. Now that my husband can't afford anymore, she is taking us back to court to get money from me. which this is a joke. But with the economy being horrible I would not be surprised if this became a new law in Texas. I have a son from a previous marriage. He pays me $276 a month. I pay for the medical and EVERYTHING ELSE. This $276.00 is plenty of money to raise a 14 year old boy. If I continue to budget it as "MY SON'S MONEY" then I will be able to buy him a nice used car when he is 16. so for all you money hungry EX wifes that just want more because you think you deserve it, maybe you should cut back on your personal things to provide for your child first. And this is not for ex wifes who are doing what is right, this is for the ex wifes who work the system. AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

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CS IS WHAT IT IS.
by: Anonymous

TO ALL YOU CUSTODIAL PARENTS WANTING MORE CHILD SUPPORT FROM THE NON CUSTODIAL PARENT, WHEN THE NON CUSTODIAL PARENT HAS PAID FAITHFULLY EVERY MONTH, NO MISSED PAYMENT, CHILD IS USUALLY WITH NON CUTOSDIAL PARENT OR GRANDPARENTS. CUSTODIAL PARENT DOES NOT PAY RENT, CUSTODIAL PARENT STILL LIVES AT HOME,SHE IS 25 YEARS OLD. HER PARENTS PROVIDE ALL HER LIVING EXPENCES INCLUDING CAR NOTES, RENT,FOOD, ETC. ETC.WHY DOES SHE NEED MORE CS? CS IS WHAT IT IS...IT IS SUPPORT FOR THE CHILD, NOT AN INCOME FOR SOMEONE THAT DOESN'T WANT TO BE A MOTHER TO HER CHILD! SHE WILL PROBABLY GET MORE CS BECAUSE TEXAS FAVORS THE WOMAN! CS SHOULD BE BASED ALSO ON HOW OFTEN YOU HAVE THE CHILD. I DON'T MIND PAYING BUT SHE NEVER HAS THE CHILD.

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Custodial parents abuse child support
by: Anonymous

Yes this is true for most cuctodial parents. You abuse child support. That money is for your child, not you. You are basically stealing from your child. When you say that the money goes to rent, gas , and utilities. These are all things that you would have to pay for if you did not have any children. For example if you bought a house and did not have children you probally would still buy at least a three bedroom even though no one would be in those rooms, but since you have children and a hefty child support payment you make it look like you bought that house for the kids, but you didn't, you bought it for yourself. When you look at gas in your car or utilties, the portion that your children use are really not that much. Basically child support is a free ride for many people that are just hurt and full of greed. The average person that jumps up and down about how the children need child support never really has children in mind at all. For example most people paying child support have other children, but i have never heard a custodial parent say there is no way he/she could pay that and take care of the children that live thier home. People like this are the reasson that we hate the child support laws because the laws are stupid and are not in the best interest of the children. The custodial parent should be accountable for the money for the childs sake. What are you going to do when your child says what did you do with all the money you got.

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Annoyed
by: Anonymous

I just wanted to add my two cents with people saying to tell president Obama about the 50% so you should get 50% of the earned income, I receive child support but it is no where near 50% of the childs care. I get 360 a month, my day care bill alone is over 700 a month, not to mention food clothes shelter, medications, gas to get them back and forth to school. I think anyone who thinks because they pay child support they are doing the custodial parent such a huge favor think again. You are not covering what you should be. My Ex pays 25% of his wages to care for his children I pay 100% of mine... How is that equal???

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Hostilities!
by: David

As I have said many times, there are two sides to every story and these arguments prove just that. The argument that the custodial parent and the AG's office will always make is that the money is in the children's best interest. So, how do you determine what that actually means? You can't! Basically, the law implies the child support guidelines suit the needs of the children. Personally, I think these guidlenes are not a "one size fit's all" solution.

Assuming one child is involved, 20% of the non-custodial parents net income will go towards support. If that parent doesn't make much money, 20% will barely pay for anything. In this case, it's obvious that all the money is used as well as whatever the custodial parent can and should contribute.

Lets swing the pendulum in the opposit direction such as in my case. Because my income is in the six figure range, my ex get more money than she could ever use on my child. She also gets $500.00 extra because we adopted my daughter from the state. This is the side where she should have to explain her expenses. $1700.00 a month for one child in living in South Texas is a bit extreme.

To this date, NO ONE has even tried to explain why this amount is necessary. In the Texas Family Law, it states that the money is "presumed" to be used in the best interests of the child. In some cases I would agree, but not in mine. Of course, the AG's office will see to it they get as much money as possible by law and sometimes more. Reason? The more money they collect, the more funding they get. Definately a conflict of interest here. Attorneys who write the laws also benefit from it. GO FIGURE!

Unfortunately, Texas is behind the times. Unlike other states, Texas does not look at both parents income for support. What that truly means is that some people (usually these women) will set on their butts and live off welfare, child support, or even both. Question is: What will they do when the well runs dry and they don't have the kid's to use as a source of income?

The fact of the matter is: We all get "screwed" now for the "screw" we once had!

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It does go to the child!
by: Anonymous

So here I am telling you (readers) that the money I do or do not recieve in child support does go to my children!!! Rent to keep a roof over their little heads, electric to keep them warm and so they can see inside, gas to keep the stove going so I can cook for them, fuel so I can get them to the dr if need be and yes for my ass to get to work for more money that I have to spend on my children, household goods so they can wipe their butts and blow their noses and bathe to keep clean, food to put in their mouths when they are hungry. I do not see how you can say money is just wasted and not going towards the children. Us custodial parents have to go through a lot with our children!!! It is not easy at all caring for them. They are children and us a parents should provide for them no matter what the circumstances are!! Get up and grow a set,(all of you parents)!! I've been doing this single mother thing for 3 years now and I did marry a deadbeat but knew that going in and knew that getting out!! I got away from all that because my children deserve a ton better than having the things we are getting by me scraping by my fingernails. I am still having a difficult time!! I've been jobless and hate it. My children do not need that. There father/sperm donor doesn't work so when I'm out of work it kills the household. Those of you that work are very blessed to have work!!! So for the whole money thing and the custodial parents not spending on their children is a bunch of hogwash!!!! This is the real world!

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arrearages for grown kids
by: Anonymous

My husband owes over 50,000$ due to not paying for a few years, the X kept him in court everytime he went to visit(he lived across the state) or they were just not there for pick-up. After many waisted trips and much money he stopped trying. When the 2 kids were young teens he tried again to see them, same dead end. Bottom line the x waited untill the kids were emancipaited to file for any additional $ She got it, all the arrears plus interest. The kids are grown, she has been remarried since the day after the divorce was granted, there are grandchildren and she is still collecting $ andtrying to get more at this time. My husband is seeing and building a relationship with the oldest(24) So we know for sure that non of the thousands of $$ have benefited them since they were teens. Why can't the laws reflect on this issue. It is supposed to benefit the child, it should be sent to them not help the bitter.X. buy a boat, That is what was purchased a few months ago when she received several thousand from our savings.
So is it ok to take the kids while your husband is at work, hide them, lie about them, lie to them and wait until they are grown and then go after every dime a man has? some Dads are labeled as dead beat and deserve it but so many are screwed by evil vendictive women. Some laws need to change and judges should look a little closer at the situation.

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One more thing
by: Wife to a Non-Custodial Parent

It is my business what they do with the money. Especially when the child is eith with us or her grandparents. OBVIOUSLY,the money isn't going to the daughter now is it?

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Wow You must be my husbands ex wife
by: Wife to a Non-Custodial Parent

Look here don't be bitter because your ex is a dead beat and mine isn't to his daughter. I am not selfish. I had a job. Actually I recently got out of the army. So I put MY life on the line so you can have the opportunity to run your mouth. I got out because we just had a son and I wasn't about to deploy for a FIFTH time and leave a newborn here while his parents deplyed. So now we are on a tight budget. So what you are saying is the husband is not allowed any happiness because he left is psycho, cheating ex wife. Oh ok I get it. So his new family is suppose to suffer and live on welfare so that his ex wife can be happy, get remarried, technically have THREE incomes and have everything she ever wanted. OH WHAT WAS I THINKING!!! Sorry my husband deserves no happiness. Your right we should all suffer.no wonder he left you. Good for him.

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Dead beat men and their crazy new women!!
by: Anonymous

You know I am a mother of three and I get no child support for my children and haven't for the past few years. My exhusband had his drivers license taken away and he has the nerve to call me to see if I can talk to our support enforcement officer to get it back. I am sorry. I dont feel sorry for him. He has chosen not to pay any child support for many years and work under the table. The women who stated her husbands exwife went to Cabo to get married, has a new car, new house just wants his money to herself. They are allowed to have a few luxuries in life. Just because you get child support doesnt make a needy person. That is what welfare is for retard. The childrens father has an obligation to help support those kids. As long as the kids are taken care of, it is frankly none of your business what they do with the rest of the money!!!!

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I agree
by: Wife to a Non-Custodial Parent

I COMPLETELY agree with your statement about keeping track of where the support money goes. If the custodial parents are hard up for money how is it mine went and got married in Cabo???? And flew all her friends down to join them???? But yet she needs the money and we can't lower it. I would not mind paying the $600 for the ONE child if I knew it was going to her clothes, food, toys, and education. But since they have a new house, car, ad vacations, and a new baby I am very hesitant now. It's almost like they are punishing the non custodial parent for not spending every moment with the child. I think the support should come in the form of a visa card. (Like food stamps) so that no haste, waste, and abuse can take place.

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More info
by: Stepmother of 3

Most of these IDEAS are found under the economy, and domistic poverty so you can either vote or submitting you own IDEA on how to change the chidsupport laws in your favor.

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