UNBELIEVEABLE PEOPLE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by RW
(Sacramento,CA, USA)

Not one of these experiences are unique to anyone. Filing papers in court is as easy as spending a few hours at your local courthouse in a pro per clinic. If you take your emotions out of the process, do what is fair, and truly have the best interest of the children at heart, it could be a done deal and everyone can move forward.

If you really have no money to file the court will waive all or part of the fees. Payment plans may be available. CHeck you options.

Custody and visitation??? Depending on the age of the child and length of travel for visitation, a 50/50 split would be good. But life happens. Because of YOUR choices or decisions, your children are torn from the ideal childhood... growing up with two loving parents in the home. Now try to give them as close to that ideal as you can, If both parents are good and decent people, why wouldn't you want the children to have a normal relationship with the other parent? If the parent is truly unfit, a drugee, drunk, sex abuser, etc... then ask the court for supervised or no visitation. You have a responsibilty to do so as a parent. You can stipulate for drug test, no drinking or smoking while the child visits.

CHild support... pretty cut and dry. Visitation and the economic abilty of each parent is taken into consideration. It is what it is. But again, life happens. People lose thier jobs and can't find work for a while. Payments aren't made, arrears build. THe arreage never goes away. In severe cases, (deadbeat) you may have to go back to court and file contempt charges against the non-custodial partent. That is to say they have not followed a court order and may be found in contempt. The penalty were I live can be one week in jail for every month the support isn't paid.
Now having said that ... the non-custodial parent still can and should have the right to visits with the children. THe children don't understand financial support, but they do understand emotional support.

My story .... I am father of eight children. Four are my biological children and four are my current wife's.
All of our kids except one are grown. I have had reasonable visitation with all my children and have taken custody of all but one. I have paid over $360,000. to help support my children over a 25 year period. I have struggled making payments,lost my job, got into arreage, pled guilty to contempt and continue to pay support and arreage amounts to this day. My wife on the other hand, has never received a dime of support for her four biological children. Her ex became a drugee and drunk and a deadbeat Dad. He was never granted visitation because of the lifestyle he chose. My wife never went so far as to file contempt charges. He gets to live with not having relationships with his children and now grandchildren, no drivers license, can't get a passport, or even keep a bank account. Any property he EVER gets will be leined.

Our kids are emotionally stable and lead good lives. Four are married with children, One is in a long term relationship, one is a law student, one is not currently in a relationship and is building his own business and one is still student in high school. My children have a good realtionship with both their mother and I.

SO stop the fighting, do what needs to be done, accept the situation that you help create, raise your children and help them develop with your love and emotional support. You may have to raise them yourself without financial support, either way, your decisions today will have a tremendous impact on them.

Good Luck