Unfair child support system

by Jennifer Brooks
(Dallas, TX)

I was married to my children's father for four years when I found out he made a child out of wedlock. When I found out about his other child outside of the marriage I filled for divorce. My children ages are 1 yrs old and 2 months. My ex husband put himself on child support for the child he conceived outside of our marriage. He did this so he could have rights to see his other child since the mother was not allowing him to. The other child is a 1yr old and is only a month older then my oldest child. When my divorce was final I was given less in child support payments then the other child's mother.

I have two children by this man and only get $180.82 a month and the other lady with one child gets $405.00 a month. This is really unfair and does'nt make any sense at all. I was married and had two children by this man and this lady only has one child. How can this be the law?? I have called many time's to talk to the office of Attorney General and they do nothing! Im trying to take care of two children with my income and only $180.82 a month. They wonder why a single mother can't work because she can't afford daycare. They wonder why so many single mothers apply for food stamps because there is no justice!If I was getting a good amount to support my two children I wouldn't have to apply for goverment assistance.

The other mother who has one child is able to afford child care and whatever else she needs. Im not saying she shouldn't get this amount but why can't I get the same amount too? I have two children and I just don't see the fairness in it. My problem is the law needs to change on how child support is determined. Why do the first child on child support receive more then the other children?? This is not fair and need to change asap!!

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West Virginia Man Haters
by: Anonymous

I have two little girls and have them about half of the month but still paying almost four hundred a month? I had too take thier mom to court so that i can see them but that wasnt good enough here in this state. you see here in this state if you love your kids and want to be with them you get punished? Guess since they are so used to dealing with deadbeat dads that being a good one is simply out of the question. I had to get a second job because of this and it is killing me esp since i know that none of that money goes to the girls but instead to pay her bills and live an easy life. So for every dad out there that might consider living in this trashy state make sure you are already paying support before coming here to this bullshit man hating state.

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No support from Exhusband
by: Anonymous

My youngest child chose to live in dec 2011 with her father in jan 2012 i was hit with a 450 a month child support payment ,my exhusband of 25 years now newly married came after me he left me with 3 girls no support a ballon morgage debt up to my eyes he has never supported me or our girls ,they garnished my pay and are threatning to have me arrested is this legal?what can i do?can't afford a lawyer.

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Simple logic
by: Anonymous

"Child support" is unfair for the simple fact that the woman alone makes the "sole" choice to bring her child into the world. Since the man has ZERO input in such choice, logic dictates that he should have ZERO accountability for same!

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oh my...try this one on for size!
by: Im a SUCKER

I have 2 children 21 and 18 yrs of age of which I raised by my self with no help from the father .he got visitation when i took him to court for child support may 2003 they orderd him to look for a job and to check in 1's a week to let them know why he didnt have a job until he got one,150.00 a month was suspended. After a yr 2004 i got no word, took him to court again 3x'she never showed up.finally they set the order and started arrers,that got him into court he told them "he cut his finger(5 stitches)and his criminal history is why he couldnt get work"gave excuses why he never showed up for court.they put the order in again as before to look for employment,check in once a week AGAIN. I left ohio 1996 and moved to pa and decided not to put myself through it anymore ,march of 2000 they sent the news he owed 1732.76 in back child support(for that yr that he didnt show up and i was finally going to get it)I recieved 4 payments then they stopped again. same arrangment as before.I was pissed I decided to take it to court from pa then like what ive had done wasnt bad enough the balance of Arears he owed 1732.76 in back child support.THEY WIPED IT CLEAN and said he owed "0" they were dropping the case and closing it.told me he was in jail and they suspended it to stop persuing it cause I would never get any money from him. they won the arguement. I come to find out the wk before fathers day 2010 that he in fact has a job and is not in jail my youngest found her uncle on "facebook" asked about him wanted to see him, I took her and my son to see there father. I didnt want to deny them that it wouldnt make anything better.They sent me a letter a wk later wanting me to sign a agreement to relieve him of his parental obligations" my daughter is 18 and out of school and hes in jail and cant pay. I told them I seen him face to face a wk before and they obviously they havnt been tracking him or they would have known this. they told me he only owes for my youngest daughter and not his son because although he admitted to being the father in 1990 when he was born and sign the birth cert and said it in court they dont have a blood test of proof so there not making him pay for him. some times he pays 20.00 some times he pays 50.00 a week.they gave me back $ he owed but said they were only for my youngest daughter. can anyone give me some advice as to what I should do? im always going to guide them as a good mom there always going to need me regardless of what he has or hasnt done as a father.

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International Support - Another guy screwed, HELP!
by: Anonymous in MI

I'm yet another guy that is getting the child support shaft. My situation is unique and full of issues like everyone else s. If anyone has a way out of this hell let me know please!
Here's the situation:
I had two kids with Canadian women about 14 years ago. We split when the kids were very young and after calls, gifts and visits we agreed to move on, no harm no foul. We agreed to leave one another alone and go our separate ways. She got custody of the kids in Can and left it at that for years. This year (12 year later) she decides to suck me for child support. Connivingly, trying to get back support for the whole time since they were born; twisting and trying to use the system to her advantage every way she could. She tried to inflate my income, say I was a terrible person the whole usual nine yards. The whole time I was denied visitation and contact with the kids by her (wouldn?t let me talk to them on the phone, no pictures, no contact period and I tried multiple times). I couldn't go to Can to fight her or see the kids because I have a DUI charge and am not admissible to the country under new immigration laws. There is no way around it since I have a couple misdemeanors I can?t go over there anymore and the only way is to try to get a special ministers permit and pay almost 4,000 with no guarantee and a likely rejection (per immigration attorney).
So, she has me served and sues me for support. I go take a paternity test (just to be sure) and its positive and now I'm on the hook for the next 5-7 years for over 600 per month. The one good thing is that MI will not give her support for time paternity wasn?t established (thank goodness). In the meantime I've started a new family, got married and had 3 other kids. Fortunately MI gives credit for my legitimate kids so I get a reduction. Regardless, she's out to try to burn me anyway she can now. I'm stuck at the mercy of Friend of the Court and have no rights to the kids whatsoever, no visitation, no contact, no reports, pictures, updates, nothing. The court said they couldn't order any of those things because she's in a different country; yet they are all too happy to oblige her every whim to suck me for child support, medical care (which she doesn't need they have national health care), and child care (her sister has a daycare and lives next door so they can inflate costs and scam me hard). I'm so screwed. I can't get up there to fight anything and the laws are very lenient towards women in Ontario.

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Child Support is INCOME for the ex...
by: Anonymous

We pay my husband's ex $1000 a month for their 2 boys. We have them every other weekend, and help buy all their crap for sports, clothes for school, and we pay all the medical and dental coverage. I think its complete BULLSHIT that the federal government does not see child support as income. She gets $12,000 (that I know the kids don't see...at 6 and 9 in school full time, they certainly don't use $1000 a month, shit I don't use $1000 a month). Over the course of our "sentence" to pay child support we will have forked out $180,000. The Federal Government needs to overturn the law and make child support reportable income. If she gets to claim them on the taxes, receive earned income credit, etc.; she most certainly should have to report the $12,000 she squanders. Its just incredulous!

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For the non custodial parents
by: Anonymous

Ok fathers and non custodial parents listen up! I urge you to go to this website and sign the petition for unfair Texas Child Support Laws www.petitiononline.com/support9/petition.html I am the mother of two beautiful children one of which receives child support but it is unfair! Ive tried taking him off because the poor guy cant even make ends meet but they told me I couldnt! Wtf?! On the other hand my husband and I have a daughter together and half his income gets sent to his ex! And guess what? She uses it to pay for her HUMMER!!! They dont care that the second family lives without or about the other children! Its an outrage! We have to live with relatives because we cant pay rent! Im not saying not to pay but to make the payments affordable and to please please consider the second family!! Sign the petition lets end this and get our lives back!

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Is anyone really surprised?
by: Anonymous

OK, We are talking about a system that is ran by the government. Is anyone really surprised that it is broken? The government breaks everything it touches so with that in mind, how could you possibly be surprised? No matter if you are paying support or receiving it, the fact that the system is extremely flawed should not come as a big shock to anybody. The bottome line is this; whoever has the best lawyer will come out on top. That is how the courts work no matter if we are talking about criminal or civil law. Is that fair? Absoultley not, but that is the way it is. Don't expect anything to change any time soon because the government has more to worry about now than child support laws. If elected officials could win votes by changing child support laws, then they would do it, or at least tell you that they are going to do it, but that is not the case. When it comes to the government, family law is low priority. Not to mention that if support is paid through the state, charges are tacked on so the state is going to make money. I think a good piece of advise is this; If there is any doubt at all that you are not going to stay with the person who you are about to sleep with, DON'T DO IT!!!

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Men should not be penalized just by being men.
by: Anonymous

To the lady that says - I SPEND IT ON MY KIDS DAYCARE, FOOD, DIAPERS, MEDS, OR WHATEVER THEY NEED. You said he is a good father. Why don't you pay him then? You have no idea the sacrifices that good fathers make in order to pay these extraordinary amounts of support payments.

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fathers side
by: Anonymous

was married to my ex for 13 years.. my ex has very weathy parents and spent over 15k in atty fees for divorce.. and continue spending.. I am a father that fought for more time with kids, found atty to work with me and basically have nothing.. ex took all money in account while active duty army over 12k, then clamed she was destitude.. i work over 55 hours a week just to make ends meet and judge ordered me to pay 50% of my income to mother, refused to give credit for the health insurance I provide.. basically leaving me to live off of $230 per week. I can barely afford to buy food.. since order I have had my car repo'd all student loans are in default, and basically judge refuses to adjust anything stating not his issue if if I loose everything, or become homeless.. I should be able to live on $775 per mo.. I cant even afford to fight this and judge is mad because I have not complied and paid for ex atty fees of 15k. I asked him how can i do that based on my income... said he did not care, that he would suspend my licence even jail me if i did not.. ex drives brand new car, buying air line tickets for vacations, etc.. I did not do anything to abuse her.. her mom even said she will spend what ever she wants so she does not have to work more then part time, and that she gets what ever she wants.. when did the court really loose sight of whats best for kids.. I think if the judge orders it he should have to live on that too...

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child support dont care for either side
by: Anonymous

child support dont care for either side. They the government. They can care less. They just want there part of the money. I pay $720 a month. Wtf is a baby gonna need $720 with that money the bitch I mean the mother will stop working. Is like hitting the lotto. $720 a month for 18 years
Bull shit. They should show proffered that they spending that money on the kid. Instead of her spending the money on motels and getting laid. F.U government. That's why I don't vote.

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Wow
by: Anonymous

Wow. You people are ridiculous. I am a mother of 2 and work full time. I receive child support and guess what??? I SPEND IT ON MY KIDS DAYCARE, FOOD, DIAPERS, MEDS, OR WHATEVER THEY NEED. I don't drink, have never done illegal drugs, don't smoke cigarettes and have no bad habits that cost $$. I'm not trash....I don't "spread my legs" for everyone. Yall should really watch what you say....generalizations are ignorant. You have no clue what peoples situations are. How can you not hold a dad accountable for his children? Seriously? I pay my own bills with my paychecks. The money I get from their dad is THEIRS. I pay for their expenses and yeah...I put money back for them. And not once has my ex complained about paying for HIS kids. He's a good dad...that's why. You jerks that want to be a part of your kids lives but none of the responsibility....need a swift kick in the ass.

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Child Support Should Not Exist
by: Anonymous

My husband pays $500 a month to his ex whom he has one daughter with. She is remarried and they both have good jobs. She CHOSE to move 6.5 hours away, but she is still in the same state so legally my husband can't do anything about it. My husband gets his daughter ONE weekend a month, even though he would love to have his daughter full time.

So my husband pays $500 and that goes towards food, shelter, clothes, school, etc. THEN, we turn around and pay for all of those same things at our own home, because on the one weekend a month that he actually gets to see his daughter, she obviously needs food, shelter, clothes, etc. What I'm saying is that on top of child support, we have a lot of other expenses for his daughter, on top of our own bills.

Half of my husband's paycheck goes to child support, and he doesn't make much money. So that leaves me to support two people most of the time.

The worst part of this is that his daughter has practically been taken away from him. His ex has asked him thousands of times to sign over his rights. He loves his daughter and she loves him back. But she calls him AND her stepdad "Daddy" because my husband's ex told their daughter that her stepdad is "Daddy."

Lady, quit your bitching. If you can't care for your child on your own then maybe your husband should get the kids. I know my husband would love to be able to care for his daughter.

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OH PALEEZE
by: Anonymous

stop crying. u dont get a monthly lottery ticket for a failed marriag, Woman up and handle your OWN responsibilities!

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Shaking head.
by: Give me a Break

I have a child with an idiot. (My fault). Took him to court when he would not pay childcare. I was awarded twice as much as I asked for. His pay was increased and I never asked for more. He had more children and had my support reduced. Never mind I was making less money than when I filed. I decided what the heck, I can still support my child. If we both have to put exactly what it costs to raise my child, he is not even covering quarter of the cost. This summer my child's daycare for 2 weeks (so I can work) is less than what I get for the month. My son still went to daycare, so what about food, housing, clothes. I guess If I like some of you say I should pay the same amount as my ex. Who will really take care of the child. Can a child be raised on $300 each parent? I know there are women that take advantage of the system, but we should not all be punished for them. The same way I think Child support should be awarded on a case by case basis

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Stay at home dads
by: Anonymous

I work for a living to support my self and my achild. Her father for lack of a better term is a "stay at home dad". He lives off his older son's social security and is a weekend warrior. I am punished because I am not lazy and I work a full time job. So he pays $140 a month inconsistently. I have the child full time. He does nothing for this child. Why doesen't the System take into account that my lifestyle has now changed. I have to rent a two bed room apartment instead of one bedroom. I can't afford health care for my child and I'm not eligible for Medicaid or Peach Care. I can barely afford child care. I'm now worried that I may have to quit my job and go on welfare to keep my sanity. Child support should be split 50/50 regardless of other children or work status. The child's needs do not cease because you can't afford them. They still need to be fed, clothed and sheltered!! Both parents should bare this responsibility equally!!!!!

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DO THE MATH
by: Get Real

Mother and father get a divorce. Joint custody is the order with mother getting placement. Now lets be conservative and make his child support payment 500 an month. Which is not a very unreasonable number if you ask around. Now here is where we get sticky. The child support is there for food, clothing, rent, electricity and any other expenses the child has.
Lets take a look at the fairness. If we take the child and place them in an apartment by themselfs and the father throws 500 in the pile where is the mothers half? Before you bleeding hearts go crazy with your politicaly correct jimber jab look at the numbers. The father pays 500 and now the mother should contribute 500 in the childs life. So regardless of where the child lives you mean to tell me it cost $1000 a month, tax free, to raise a child? Father pays 500 so mother should contribute the same, not get a free ride. The child support laws are simply wrong and in favor the woman.

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Choices
by: Anonymous

I'm sick of hearing certain women complain how child support laws are unfair. They only scream its unfair when it doesn't satisfy the payout they anticipated. In my opinion the only women that should be eligible to file for child support are women that have been married 6-12 months at time of conception. No woman baring a child out of wedlock should be eligible for child support. Some state assistance would be available but it would not be classified as child support. This would cause women to be responsible for their choices. Let's be mature about things we all agree it takes money to raise a child so if you have problems meeting your day to day needs without a child, that should be an indicator that you aren't prepared to have a child, hence the word "prepared." On any given night you may feel ready but preparation is key in this scenario. If a women decides to have casual sex she should solely financially responsible for the child. There will be no state involvement or enforcement. If the laws was set this way women would make alternative choices involving sex, and parenting. They'd think twice.

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Pissed off mom!
by: I pissed off mom

I`m a mother of 2 special needs kids and my ex won`t pay child support! I `m not a bitch or unreasonable or anything, my ex won`t have anything to do with our kids. He calles maby 4 times a year if I lucky and don`t even know when the kids birth days are. All I want is for him to step up and grow a pair take care of your responabiltys he won`t pay and the child support office of Texas has put him probation twice a one point he was on probation in two diffrent cities at the same time for not paying and we still don`t get crap from him! He has been in jail for it and still nothing we are owed almost 10 grand in back childsupport and I`m tired of it! For all the men that say the childsupport is unfair to them it`s guys like my ex that make them treat you like this, get mad at them! I wouldn`t even be mad about the money I wouldn`t even take him to court if he would call them once a week and was envolved in their life`s! When are guys like this going to see that kids can`t eat excuses, wear excuses, etc.

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Population control
by: Joe

It's no wonder marriage is loosing it's appeal, who want's to get married when you have child support laws to look fwd. To. It's terrifying...A woman can cheat on you, and if you have a problem with it, she will leave and take your pay check with her....I am being held hostage by the system. As much as I love my kids, I think I may have to find another country to live...Any suggestions?

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What people don't think about
by: Anonymous

What people fail to realize for some reason is that a lot of the time the mothers are the deadbeat parents they set home get child support spend the CHILD support on cigarettes and drugs and not one cent goes to the child. My husband which I have a daughter with has another girl by his ex and she is a truly disgusting human being! She smokes all day and night in the same room as her kids...the room that she has to share with her boyfriend and two children because she can't afford to live in her own house even though she gets max unemployment and child support from my husband not only is she trying to kill them with second hand smoke in and tiny little single wide trailer bedroom but none of the child support goes to the child we buy her everything she needs or wants. we have to buy her lunchables! we have her more days out of the week than her mother does and when she is there she accomplishes nothing more then making her sleep in the smokey room he pays her child support then pays for everything else for the child too! it's ridiculous and I know hat she has a drug problem my husband refuses to believe it I think it's because he doesnt want to think about it. I know that he is trying to get custody but the system is so screwed up I don't know I he will, not only should he not have to pay child support to this women she should not be around his child! this happens more than people know. everyone wants to say the dads are the bad guys but thats not always true and from what I've seen when the moms are bad it's a lot worse because when the dads are bad they just aren't around, but when the moms are bad it really effects the child the moms refuse to not be a part of the kids life even when it would be much better for the kid if she just dropped off the face of the earth! This women sets home and makes almost as much money as my husband and I do just one more reason I think she has a drug problem how can you spend that much money and not have anything to show for it she has no bills what so ever no car and no cellphone nothing! I just hope he gets custody and the sense of entitlement really gets to me but I'm over it I'm tired of my husband getting upset everytime he has to deal with her or hear his daughter tell him something stupid she did. he's a great dad and I don't think I need to take his money just because I had sex with him and some moms don't realize how great some of these dads are and they should just be happy that they want to spend time with their kids and if they don't ask you for money when the kid is at their house why do you need money when the kid is with you take some responsibility just because you can give birth doesn't mean you need to charge for it because you couldn't do that without a man anyway!

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Women against child support
by: Anonymous

Okay I'm a women and I would ne'er file for child support unless the man was a total deadbeat that wanted nothing to do with the kid because in that case why not make him pay at least he may think of the kid then but a regular guy who does care about his kid and wants to see it those guys houldnt have to pay child support I think women these days just think they're whores because apparently having sex with a man an getting pregnant means you get his money that's crazy what makes them think they deserve it because they don't it takes two to have a child and if he pays for everything when the kid is with him and you pay for everything when the kid is with that's fair and I do have a kid by the way and if I ever do break up with the father I will NEVER file for child support because I know he will spend time with her and feed her when she goes to see him and that all I ask and for all of you women out there why would you be so cruel you obviously liked them at some point! They're not all that bad and personally if you didn't know them and love them at some point you're probably a slut anyway and having to take care of a kid on your own may make you grow up!

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She received the money!
by: A good Dad!

Hey whats everybody!!
check this one out, The mother of my children
has received the money a little while ago give or take a few months and how I know is She hasn't called asking me for anything or even let me know she got it, she is afraid I might ask for some of that money back, I never even thought about it, It's
a waste of thinkn energy, It's like stopping the ice
cream man for a cup of noodles on a hot day. Well she and my son are comming to see me in August what
I mean is my son is comming to be with me for 2-weeks and she will be here for one week in a hotel
her exact words to me is that she is on vacation it's all about her because she hasn't had a vacation
a very long time and she needs one away from everyone she needs some her time it's not about me or my son it's all about her. (ain't data bitch!!!)
After all the shit I went thru with garnishments and the taxes the took away from me to give to her
6414.00 and 1400.00 in December I still love datbch She didn't have to throw the It's all about Me, I need some Me time, I am on going on a
vacation.

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same story over and over
by: K Kalaf

I pay child support for a 20 year old who is president of his own company and doesn't live at home!

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Paying Even If It Kills Me
by: T. L. Broke

I've recently joined the ranks of those who pay child support. September 2010, to be exact. When I went to court for the child support hearing, it was no secret that I'm disabled and have medical issues. I was ordered to pay more than a quarter of my monthly gross income in support. to someone one with a yearly gross income more than 4 times that of mine. Needless, to say with my medical issues, the addition of these payments has drained what little savings I had, but I didn't miss a payment. That is until I recently gained a favorable decision for my Social Security Disability. So, they were adjusting my income, I made the mistake of calling Support Enforcement to let them know that with the way Social Security operates (on their own time scale). I will not have any income until the end of April. Now, that I've called Support Enforcement, they're having my "normal" monthly support payment deducted along with an additional amount for what they are now referring to as arrears for the month of March, which we are still in mind you. Today, I got a letter from Social Security: "because of the amount of child support deductions, they will have to cancel my Medicare because it doesn't leave enough for the monthly premiums." I tried to explain to Support Enforcement that the original amount of the the monthly support would not leave my enough to be able to pay my electric, buy medicine and food, never mind anything else. I am always greeted with the "I don't care" attitude, and I'm sick of it. Support Enforcement told my to file a claim for the child under Social Security, but since I've not seen, or heard from anyone, in a number of years the best I can do is give a name and a state they might be in. Support Enforcement says that they can't help me with this information. Seems to me that if they can be all in my Social Security that they can could get it done... if they really wanted to help. What's left to do???

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SENDING MONEY & CREDIT TO CASE???
by: A GOOD DAD!

OKAY! HERE IS ONE THAT REALLY ISN'T FAIR AT ALL, MOTHER CALLS TO ADD ANOTHER TO C/S CASE WHEN WE AGREED NOT TO BECAUSE I WILL SEND MONEY ON MY OWN TO HER AND HAVE BEEN, SHE DID WITHOUT ME KNOWING I NEVER GOT SERVED 1.5 YEARS GOES BY IT GOES TO DEFAULT BECAUSE I NEVER RESPONDED UNTIL NOW. NOW I OWE ARREARS, MY PAYMENTS GO UP AND GARNISHED AND TELLS ME SHE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT C/S EMAILS ME TIME AND DATE SHE CALLED, OKAY! FINE IT GOES UP TAXES TAKEN (I'M @ FAULT ADMIT I SHOULD HAVE STAYED ON TOP OF IT)DURING THE 1.5 YEARS I SENT ALOT OF MONEY TO HER THRU MONEYGRAM AND HAVE ALL MY RECIEPTS
I TELL C/S I HAVE PROOF I'VE BEEN SENDING MONEY AND THEY SAY GOOD FOR YOU FOR DONIG THAT THE BEST THING FOR YOU TO DO IS WORK IT OUT WITH HER AND ASK HER WILL SHE LET YOU CREDIT ALL THAT YOU SENT DURING THAT TIME TO THE ACCOUNT.WHAT! ASK HER WHAT! IF SHE SAYS NO THEN YOU FILE A MOTION. (AIN'T THAT A BITCH!!) YOU KNOW DAM WELL SHE'S GOING TO SAY NO! WE MEN DON'T HAVE ANY SAY ON ANYTHING IT TAKES TWO MY ASS! I'M THE ONE WORKING HARD TO SUPPORT ALL OF THEM AND THE MOTHER AND SHE HAS ALL THE POWER THAT AIN'T RIGHT

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UNFAIR, YEAH RIGHT!!!
by: ALEX

I MAKE SUPPORT PAYMENTS ON TWO BOYS, TRUST ME THE SYSTEM WORKS FINE FOR THE MOTHERS, AND TOTALLY AGAINST THE FATHERS. ALL THEY WANT IS A FREE RIDE ON EVERYONE ELSES SHOULDERS. I CAUGHT HER CHEATING, SHE CALLED THE COPS AND MADE ME LEAVE MY OWN HOUSE. NOW I MAKE PAYMENTS SO SHE CAN SIT ON HER WELFARE LOVING ASS. HOW FAIR IS THAT?

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They fail to realize!
by: Anonymous

I agree that man should pay child support if both parties can't come to an agreement, A man is not a father or a dad if he isn't/ or never was around he is just a chump and it & everything always completes a cycle of some sort and comes back and hurts financially and when it does he will want to work something out (possibly?)and finally see's the child
and look into there eye's that's where it will hurt the most, Guy's we need/have to help out.And for all these mothers out there that are straight greedy,lazzzy always saying we don't do anything he ain't giving me enough money and call c/s to increase you are so wrong, Father works all day possibly a second job (for the good dads)that do. Let me ask you this while we are work busting are ass and paying taxes so c/s can just take it from us and give to you not the child you the mother because the child can't go and cash a check, How many napps do you take a WEEK!!!!! answer is when the baby sleeps you sleep!! One last thing ladies my badd Mothers if the man gets so caught up with all tax offset, arrears because you asking for money and loses his license or to far in debt and goes to jail or even says he had it and becomes homeless, You get nothing and who hurts the most the child so think about it, if he makes an effort
meet half way he also has a life and child to brag about. Like myself I have 4 girls,1 boy my oldest girl is 20 now I met her when she 1yr old, I knew her dad before he past I never had to pay support but I was always there and she 3 sisters and brother I do pay the youngest will be 4 and the mother took all of them to Texas to live grandma
I'm still in CA working, we were never married just lived together while I payed for everything and c/s and was never asked to go with and now I have 3yrs of arrears, taxes taken,higher garrnishment & I thought we agreed not to add the youngest to avoid this. I mean disrespect to the mothers out there just eazz up on us GOOD DAD"S

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I should have kept myself updated with case.
by: Anonymous

Here is one for everyone and please don't hold back I am also askn for some advise. I have 5 children my first daughter is beautiful and has grown up she is 20 years now, I am not the biological dad I knew him before he past away, we were both street hustlers and he was cool and have been around her since she was 1 year old and now all grown up, the same mother gave me 4 more children. I never had to pay support for her, but I was in her life and she does call daddy I consider her my first, then mother gave me a son & 2 more girls and all were born in Ca. I have always payed support and help raise them. I payed,stayed,raised and gaved and never complained this was our family I always had a job and hustled, the hustle part was wrong I know, but was nice having the extra helped out. Maan! how time just flies, 2005 grandma moves to Texas and wants them come out there & I was against it and said no! the thought of my family leaving I was never asked to go, I never pushed the Issue, a few months pass & I give in and they move Texas but she leaves pregnant and has my last girl in texas, 4yrs pass I still pay support and send extra especially b-days/xmas and I try & fly twice a year. Grandma asked me year can she claim the kids I said no maam you can't that money helps me catch up with what push aside so I can send the extra money here (moneygram everything) just incase, mother and I had an agreement not to add my youngest due the laws are different out here.They all live in a new house go to good schools get what the what dam near, grandma wanted claim them so she have that money to pay on her house taxes, I said to myself no body asked you to move out here and send for my family,
the money stretches more in Texas cost of living is cool out there compared to C. I'm get to the point in 2009 she calls c/support to add my youngest, & never told me I get c/s mail, my pay gets an adjustment @ work I never looked @ any mail (which I regret so bad I f-up bad)now it's 2011 my taxes 6413.00 taken by c/s my checks are hit hard 589.38 every two weeks and c/s I owe 7800.00 for 2years of no pay, we sent you paper work to fillout & you did not respond so it went to default in 9/09 why not start the increase then why wait to years no I have arrears, and the getting ready to hit my license if it does'nt get paid off 2012 now thats not fair at all!!

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Guys dont have a clue
by: Anonymous

Everyone's story is different some /most guy dont have what it takes or the patience to rais a child sacrificing weekends late nights and you own "me time" for your kids is something most guys dont want to do if and when you all do get your kids before the weekend is over most guys is ready to bring them back "home" if you all had your kids fulltime and see the "real" costs (not only fiancial) of raising kids by yourself you have more gratitiude for us mothers. Believ it or not there are some mothers that try/tried to come to an agreement with out involving the system. Here is my story: Me and my daughters dad are in the miltary so money was not an issue but all I asked for was half of my pumpkins daycare nothing more $250.00 nine months passed not one red cent is that fair to me? so after the set amount came back for $700 a month only then he want to pay the $200 dollars a month so some guys have chances to beat this so call unfair system so give me a break...whatever

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Two problems with Child support
by: Anonymous

Dear Child Support Committees.
Want to know a way to get more fathers to pay child support?
First of all, allow the fathers to deduct the child support payments on his taxes. Why is this fair??
Firstly the mother does not have to pay taxes on child support because it is not considered income. Secondly, most mothers are the ones getting the benefit of claiming them as dependants on their taxes.
WHOA, DOUBLE WHAMMY ON DADDY!!!

Another problem or issue is the pay scale. JUST BECAUSE A FATHER GETS AN INCREASE IN SALARY DOES NOT MEAN HIS CHILDREN AUTOMATICALLY NEED MORE MONEY TO LIVE ON.
JUST BECAUSE THE LIFESTYLE OF THE FATHER HAS CHANGED DOES NOT MEAN THE EX SHOULD GET MORE TO SPEND ON THE CHILDREN.

Children are not cheap to raise by any means. and there are fathers out there that should pay more. But there should be a limit. The reasoning is that children can only eat so much and the schooling will not increase because of the fathers increase in income.
The pay scale structure basically says "The richer the father is, then the more money it must take to raise the child."
So I guess if the father wins a $100 million dollar lottery the children begin to suffer more.
Even though I'm sure the father will get the children nice things regardless.
LET'S BE HONEST. THIS SCALE IS SETUP TO PROVIDE THE EX-WIFE WITH A BETTER LIFESTYLE..
It should be at the fathers descretion of spoiling the child. Not the right for the Ex to come back so she can improve her standard of living.
AND YOU KNOW THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE IS UP TO.
Now shouldn't the ex-wife be contributing the same amount of money as the Father is providing.
Wouldn't it make sense that the more money the father is having to pay raises the amount the ex-wife should be responsible for as well.?
Thanks for reading. This is a sore subject with me.

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Wow
by: Anonymous

It is a very unfortunate situation, and I dont think that its right either. I think it's inconsiderate for someone to tell you that your complaining because it really does cost to raise a child. And for the ignorant comment on women just spreading their legs and having babies is completely uncalled for, because it takes two! And for those who didn't know men can be single parents too, so there is no need to single women out! For the comment in which child support shouldnt be used for a car note, that is a form of transportation for the child as well. People are often bothered by how the money is used, as long as the child has a roof over there head, decent clothes/shoes to wear, and food to eat then the job is being done. I hate when people are ignorant to everything that comes with being a single parent, when your in that situation then you can understand what its like to be a single parent getting little of nothing, esp with how much just being alive costs. I am a single parent as well and I am currently receiving a form of child support, in all honesty it isnt enough. But I work very hard, doing all kinds of crazy hours, lose sleep, and do whatever I have to do to make sure that my daughter is well tooken care of, and in the end thats all that you can do. Dont let this get you down, when the other parent is slacking you do what you need to do to better provide for your child. As previously said, whomever files first shall receive the highest amount. Thats why it is important as a custodial parent to go ahead and file if your not married, or if the other parent has other children, and whatnot. Consider this a lesson learned.... use your story to inform other single parents who are ignorant about the system.

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Get a job!!!
by: Anonymous

So why dont u get a job thats your kid too!!! These poor men are stuck paying half of what they earn to a bunch of lowlife women who blow the child support on drugs or,alchol or even worst their new boyfriends the system is unfair for men but theres a special place in hell for greedy money hungry women

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Sick as it sounds
by: Anonymous

lady be glad you are getting somthing and dont be selfish. Trying to get a last dime from these poor dads. How do you Expect to have him keep his job when these men are almost homeless. But no these woman still spread their legs and have more kids. and lay on their backs collecting foodstamps!!!! Thats whats unfair.

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Unfair but true
by: Anonymous

Your child recieves less money because she filed for child support first. The courts will not change an existing court order for child support because of a new claim. They will only take out an additional amount from his income. The state can only take out 50% of his income. I know a man that has 5 children and the last one gets nothing because there is nothing left. If you don't want to raise your kids alone financially, choose wisely. You should have filed the minute you found out about the other child. Ignorance never pays.

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more than you
by: Anonymous

You get less child support because he has to pay back child support for all the years he has missed. My husband's ex receives 600.00 a month for ONE child. That extra 300 could be used for OUR daughter. But its not. We struggle from week to week while she lives in housing and gets food stamps. NOT COUNTING TANF. Child support should be used to SUPPORT the child.. not pay for young democrat membership dues, a car note (brand new i might add), and books for her own enjoyment and cat food and cat litter. Everything for herself. We also don't even get to see his daughter.

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unfair childsupport system Big D.
by: Anonymous

I would say that he had a much better lawyer than you. Most of the time Men are discriminate againest in the system. Looka like maybe you were this time. However I still say we need to stop treating our men wrong and maybe the system get straight.

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Not always the case
by: Anonymous

My son was born in Texas almost 7 years ago. His father then had another child 8 months after my son was born and then another one a year and a half after that. I do not get a larger amount just because my son is the first born. She gets more because she has two and I only have one. Thats just how it is. I think Texas is unfair in the amounts they set and the non-action that takes place when payments are not made. However, I take it for what it is and I dont dwell on it. Its a waste of my time. Time that could be spent with my son.

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just a thought
by: Anonymous

just listenin to comments wow whats the reason behind that whoever files first gets the most money doesn't sound fair and the court answer is we are looking out for the kids best interest sounds like bs to me don't forget get behind on payments and the court gets a nice payoff too, so they can build more and more offices to rip us off great system !!!!

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Get over it
by: Anonymous

You know I really cant have much simpathy for you. When my husband is 52 years old and his daughter is 35 years old and he now pays 2043.00 monthly at a time when we should be retireing. He paid his childsupport back when his child was young and listen to his ex on please it takes so long to get the money, just pay me he did and what a big mistake it was. Because the greedy woman comes back 30 years later and claims never paid. So dont whine just get going and do the best you can . You chose to leave .

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Unfortunate...
by: Anonymous

It is unfortunate, however that is the law in many (if not all) states. Regardless of the marital status of the persons involved, the child(ren) who was born first or for whom Child Support was filed for first will get the larger amount.

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Was the divorce worth it?
by: Anonymous

Well I hope the divorce was worth it. It's much harder to raise a child as a single parent, even with child support. It's simply much more expensive to have two (or three) households (and then add legal expenses), so there is simply much less money left over, unless the non-custodial parent is well off.

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Stop!!
by: Anonymous

Hey Lady,

Stop your b*tchin. The child support laws are completely bogus and need to be changed at a macro level. Be thankful that you get something, but remember they are his kids to! Who cares if he has another kid...you're not the mom so don't worry about it. Remember that he has to live too! and that seems to be something that all you f**kin moms forget, you don't care how the man is supposed to live.

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