Unfair, unjust. This is my Horror Story

by A. Valentin
(Connecticut)

Definitely New York State is too hard and abrasive on hard working fathers. I too went through the horror, and are a victim of the very same system that is also supposed to protect me. Instead the made me a victim.

New York State is overwhelmed with people on welfare and deadbeat fathers, and NY is making the rest of us pay for that. Not fair. Is their fault they have created parasites that refuse to work, and have made careers out of the welfare system. They go after responsible fathers and refuse to make irresponsible mothers go to work. So they sit home waiting for the welfare check, food stamps, section 8, and child support. No wonder they don't work.

In court, the judges work in conjunction with welfare social workers and victimized fathers.

I don't understand why I should continue to pay child support for a daughter who is 19 years old, doesn't look for me, and whom I have not seen in more than 3 years. On top of that, she's sexually active with a boyfriend who she calls her "husband", finished high school, not going to college, and like her mother, she also refuses to work. This is what NY has created, a parasite out of my daughter as well. Her mother is over 40 years of age, and has only worked jobs getting payed just enough so welfare won't close her case. The court system, child support unit, and welfare know this goes on, but make a conscious choice to look the other way at all this.

And the court don't want to hear it. I'm paying a ridiculous amount for one child who I can't even enjoy the company of.

I always supported my daughter, always, and I understand that I have to. I'm in support of paying child support. But, is the unjust amount, and the length of time I have to do it for. I have another four daughters over the age of 18, and every single one of them hold a job, and are responsible citizens.

I remember going to court, and having the judge get upset at me because he thought I made too much money. I'm not making this up. He made it known right in the court room. He probably saw my W4 and got upset I made more money than he did. I'm just a Police Officer, NOT Donald Trump. I make just enough. Believe me. I have to work a lot of overtime to be able to pay bills, a mortgage, and put food on the table. The amount of overtime I have to work takes me away from my family, so I could pay a ridiculous amount of child support. The court system, child support unit and welfare department don't care about my family, they just care about the $530 they deduct from my pay every two weeks.

If most states child support stops at the age of 18, then why is that NY State goes to the age of 21? You know the answer; so they could keep supporting parasites in a state that in overwhelmed with them.

And by the way, why I'm am I writing this story if they are not going to care anyway, and changes are not going to be made? Do they even read what we write? Does anyone care? Does anyone have a good story?

Until then my friends, we, the fathers, have to continue getting depressed, sick, and lose sleep, because the bills sometimes can't get paid. Divorce rate among us is also very high because of the stress our own families go through. So they break up a family to support others who refuse to work.

This is my horrific, unfair, and unjust story. HELP!!!

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not your typical dad
by: Anonymous

I am a result of denial run rampant.I denied being a member of the LGBT community, as a result I became a father. Due to me no longer being able to present myself in a fatherly light due to identifying as a female I have lost the right of being my son's parent. Being a moral person prior to marrying a woman that was pregnant upon our meeting, I told her during our courtship that I had gender identification issues.I guess love is blind regardless from which side of the relationship you come from.Maybe my ex that she could make a man out of me. Anyway,six years after my (adopted at birth son) my ex decided I was not redeemable as a male.As a result I have been paying child support without the luxury of having my son in my life on a consistent basis over 15 years. My ex ensured even after my recovering from serious depression, my change into my new gender identity,and coming back into the state in which my son and his mom resided that I was not going to be a part of his life.I petitioned the court to have visitation,which I was given 4 hours per month. The next thing I know my son is half way across the U.S. So here we are now I have seen my son less than 10 times in 15 years,& still paying.

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In and Out
by: Anonymous

My story goes like this, A kid of the foster system and a young 16 yr old father makes good. I had a child at 16 worked any Job I could and lived with my daughters mother. However I was not aware that she was collecting Welfare the whole time and my child support, all the money I gave her went un-reported. When the relationship came to an end cause she cheated while I was working(all the time) I learned I had a 15,000. child support bill and I was being charged 86.00 dollars a week at 16 yrs old with a job making 200.00 a week. I don't care about all that and payed it back fast. I worked hard, went back for my GED and pushed way up the ladder to be a top level sales executive, after many bad jobs and bad employers. What kills me is my daughters mother allowed her to do what she wanted, when she wanted as long as Mommy got Dads money. My daughter moved out at 16 for 6 months so I went to court both to get her to return home and stop seeing the jerk she was with. Both my daughter and mother lied said she was still living home, again not the problem however when I proved my daughter was not living home she decided not to show up for court, at that time child support was terminated. My daughter and her mother didn't get along but they agreed to lie again and say she moved back home again, No problem except she now was about to have a baby and her boyfriend was living with her and her mother. I think it's called rape when your daughter is a minor, whats my point you say? this is what the system cultivates when there is know action taken to restrain a parent from allowing events like this to occur. When I was young the system was very bad however if you dropped out of school, it was illegal and they could take action against the parents for that, not continue to make the none custodial parent pay emotionally and physically. My daughter was allowed and payed to quit school, have a baby as a minor, live with a boyfriend 3 years older than her, and by the way he is in prison again, for what you say robbery and assault. My daughters boyfriend hit her once I called the cops and tried to kick his ass and they did nothing but make him leave. The whole point is we go to court and all the judges want to do is get you in and out. I can't blame them as there is a lot of trash that walks thru the door however when a man who is well dressed, well spoken and has a good job brings a case with many equations to the courts, maybe that is the moment in time where you have to employ some actual tactics you learned after sitting on a bench for so long. I believe Judges could make a difference if they listened and didn't view all of us the same. My daughter turned 20 and moved out, the Judge then wanted me to pay her direct so I gave my daughter a large sum of money to emancipate herself and she did. I hope you understand it's not the money it's the princepal.

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Your horror story
by: Anonymous

I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. i myself am a single mother of twin daughters and finally gave up on a sixteen year relationship after having to constantly beg their biological father to do his share. He works three jobs and does not want to support them. I finally had to get on working section 8 to make ends meet. I know what you mean about some of the people that do not work but I work and make almost $17.00 an hour 40 hours (sometimes plus) per week but with the apartment rates in New York it was impossible for me to afford a two bedroom apartment. Working section 8 allowed me to obtain an apartment suitable for me and my daughters. i am on no other programs. I have been at my job for 4 years but there is no advancement there. I am currently a part-time student in college as well. Please don't take your frustrations out of everyone that has some form of a program because there are several different types and some of us are hard working individuals who just fell on hard times.

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It stops,when fathers across this naton stop paying the extortion.
by: Anonymous

Ok so we are suposed to go to work,pay taxes,social security,and suport children we never see,or doesnt have our names,because some judge says so,whell Fathers will never have rights,untill we give this corupt system the finger ok.they can put you in jail so what,they can take your lisence,so what?look we stop working,we stop paying taxes,we stop paying the support.the state falls ok,and then we are free.So whats better,laying in a jail cell eating three meals a day,or working living in a dump eating once a week,Hay as long as its making them money it wont stop.think about it they cant arest all of us,or better yet why not all get together,get armed and actually burn down theise agencies,and kill the beurocrats,judges,and feminists doing this,surrly we have enough numbers,then just go state to state,and then washington,burn down washington DC,both houses of congress.and end this.we can and should.

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My Horror begins
by: Anonymous

I liked this story alot! I am in the beginning process of a Divorse and wouldn"t you know it...she lost her job the Day the Divorse papers were processed. I only have a High-School Diploma and have held my job for over 5 years. She claims she can't find a job even with her High School Diploma and 2 years Assoc. Degree!
Really!? I know big name stores like Wal-mart and Target are always hiring. It's so much easier for a woman to sit on her duff and collect from the State and then wait to see what she can get out of me in court. There are no Rights for hard working dads carring the weight load and responsablities of a home and Family.
It has been said that in NY State, "if you have a penis, you are guilty".
So I just want to thank all the dead-beat Dads out there who are not responsible for there own actions, who abuse the system, and have made the system look down on men so bad, that hard-working, responsible, loving, caring, Fathers; go to Court and get bent over because of it all.
Something has got to be done about this, and for right now, the only way to come out on top, is to pay your lifes worth to an Attorney.
Fair? My advise to all young men out there...condoms are cheaper the children and Marriage is no longer a vow of love, its a retirement plan for women. God luck to use all!

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Don't worry be happy.
by: Peace

Don't worry be happy: what goes around comes around. I have paid more than what I've seen on this blog. Live according to your means and you wont have a problem. I don't have a fancy car, 3 flat screen tv's , sneakers etc... Think about it, the money is probably not enough to raise a child, but because the car payments; the full package cable; the rims on the car, and so on it makes hard for you to live. I went got another job, paid off my car, saved some money and just paid the support and did not complain. The money can never replace a parent mother or father, so don't worry be happy. Check this out the same people working at the courts and all these other agencies they are paying child support too!
Child support phases out after a certain amount of income, so get rich and you will be able to keep more. Read the laws become better informed then you will understand.
Peace

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