Unjust Child Support Laws


(new york)

The current child support laws are in drastic need for reform. These laws, administered by many uncaring Judges, are general in nature and punish good law abiding fathers for the sake of some deadbeats. This in turn, creates an environment where in many cases, law abiding fathers are criminalized. In America we are told that we are innocent until proven guilty, but not so for fathers when dealing with the courts concerning child support. Fathers are deadbeats until they miss a support payment and then they are even bigger deadbeats.


There is no discerning of individual circumstances and many men are faced with insurmountable odds and a sense of hopelessness. For example, any person or judge that would advocate to dismiss a modification of support for a man whose income is reduced due to unemployment without considering all the facts is calloused and uncaring. How can a man live if his support payment remains the same but his income decreases by 50% and he runs a weekly negative cash flow? Especially during these economic hard times? Where do these judges live? On Mars? Don't they know that companies aren't hiring right now and that there are 6 people competing for every one job there is? That unemployment is at an all time high?

That's what these laws encourage. An apathetic realm of uncaring directed to those affected. It really doesn't matter what hardship a father is facing; the law is nonetheless slapped down and people try to get blood from a stone. Some laws are ludicrous. How much sense is it to take away a working man's drivers license if he is supposed to be paying support and he drives to work? What group of nincompoops came together to think that one up? Even if the man is behind on his child support, taking away his license only aggravates and perpetuates his debt.

Consequently, I see a system that is heavily biased against men with women bearing a much lesser degree of accountability. It's not a 50/50 situation. More like a 80/20 situation.

I am not against caring for and taking responsibility for our children and enforcing justice against deadbeats but let's not treat all men like they are deadbeats and criminals from the get go and place unreasonable demands on them.

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one day they woke up and said, "no more".
by: sicosystemsuckers

nobody should pay nobody ,I don't care ,It is ordinarily one parent that decides they are going to make a move, generally does not tell the partner their plans and it drops like a bomb in the lap of the soon to be non custodial. and then it is on, because everything that they say is used as the basis of their wanting custody which they must first obtain before they can get the support. any person that accepts or orders support should be hanged for a crime. No man or woman should be made to pay money with no contractual evidence at the risk of life or liberty, at any time, in any country. This is forced slavery, extortion, debtor's prison the list goes on and on the violations of rights has come to a head people.

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An illogical System, and the kids are the victims
by: Chris

Child support laws in this country hurt families, can destroy men and many children don't even see the money. We have to face a reality here, thanks to feminist movements, the country is now a female ran country, where the man is a second class citizen. If you marry a woman you are taking a risk, if you have children with her, you are taking an even greater risk, especially if you have money. If you fail to pay child support, you can go to jail, and tax payers money are paying for your stay in Jail (illogical). The deliberate destruction of the family cell is a danger to our future.

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Reunited with daughter 13 years after she was abducted!
by: Anonymous

My almost three-month-old daughter was kidnapped by her 16-year-old father’s family. The police refused to act without a court order even though the father of the baby was 16-years-old and his name was not on her birth certificate. Her surname was the same as my surname. I did not see my daughter again for almost one month until the court date in which my attorney did not show up for court. The judge allowed this fiasco. A 16-year-old boy was awarded custody of my infant daughter even though his father was a convicted felon. We were never offered any mediation. I was awarded visitation every other weekend but each time I tried to exercise my visitation rights I suffered constant harassment and death threats by the father. He came to my work and my home. He scared me so terribly that I was forced to move out-of-state to remain safe. I hired another attorney and intended to fight for custody but when I flew back for the court date I was shocked to find out we weren’t going to court and the best they would offer me was four days at Christmas with my daughter, take it or leave it. During these years my daughter witnessed and was victim to the birth father violent nature, and finally died at the hands of law enforcement after firing shots at an officer with the officer’s own gun. When he was shot it was all over the news and that’s how I found out. I was down there the very next day attempting to get my daughter back now that her father was deceased and I no longer felt afraid. The police said I needed to hire another attorney. I hired yet another attorney but my case was thrown out of court before it could be heard based on a technicality.The birth father's mother and father got custody without my knowledge when the birth father signed custody to his parents who filed as Interveners. At this time, I was left to fight the paternal grandmother for custody. The paternal grandfather was deceased at this time. Two different attorneys told me there was not a good chance for me to win custody because of NC state laws regarding custody due to the fact I had not been in her life. Even though I was a college graduate with other children at home, the paternal grandmother (who lived alone without driver’s license) had a better chance. The paternal grandmother was an alcoholic and according to court records, her own daughter took her to court to remove my daughter from her home as a second Intervener. The order states the paternal grandmother drank alcohol and used drugs in the presence of the child. I was never made aware that any of this was going on either. I was always threatened if I tried to contact my daughter. This past March 2011, Social Services handed my daughter to me after allegations of child molestation by the custodial aunt's boyfriend. So now I've had my daughter living with me for the past nine months. She is happy, healthy, and thriving. But we cant get 13 years back! mothertoanother@gmail.com

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One size fits all...
by: Anonymous

I'm in complete agreement with the sentiments offered here. Ostensibly, New York State Child Support Laws make it ILLEGAL to be unemployed. Why? If you lose your job, child support arrears accrue. Once those accrued arrears reach a certain level, Child Support Enforcement may take a number of actions, which can include loss of driving priviliges, and even imprisonment! Now unless you are independently wealthy (which for most of us, child support payments typically renders moot) you will fall behind make this a moot point)payments and accrue arrears when you lose a job. Fired, laid off, "restructured" - doesn't matter. In the eyes of the New York Child Support system, you are a CRIMINAL unless you can pay.

Thsi "one size fits all" system is archaic and is ruining the lives of many men; many who are simply trying to keep up.

Where is our representation in such matters. Who is arguing to our defense. Do we even have a voice to represent us?

Or are we simply victims, perpetually awaiting those harsh letters in the mail, reminding us of how horrible we are, and what will happen to us if we don't pay.

Finding a job in this economy is hard enough. Reciving the kinds of accusatory, threatening letters that practically say: "We don't care how hard you're trying or how much you love your kid. You are bad, and we are going to punish you."

Ny creditors (some who have a legitimate beef) aren't nearly as mean spirited.

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Support laws are unjust
by: Anonymous

My mother left my father in 1973. My father paid $30.00 a month for child support for both my brother and me. Since 1973 wages have barely increased but, housing, food, fuel and vehicle payments have increased ten fold. I've had 2 back injuries and a neck injury with surgery. I have continued to do the best I can to keep my child support paid up. In 2008 there were no jobs in my field so I started my own business. I continued to try and pay until my business folded in Dec. 09. I'm now unemployed and and living with my in-laws, thankfully. I've started back to school and will graduate in 2013 as a software engineer. The point i'm trying to make is that the laws aren't fair at all when it comes to support. If I had never divorced my ex and would have had the injuries and business failure my children would have done without the same as me. But since I no longer live with my children the justice department passes laws that assume everything is perfect and that the ability to pay the increased support and continued monetary flow are a sure thing. The drivers license issue is another flub of the justice system.I had a class A CDL and everytime I turned around or fell behind a payment the DMV would suspend my license so that I couldn't drive or I'd lose my job because of a suspended license. Then I wouldn't be able to gain employment because of the license. Now understand, I never fell behind more than what could've been covered by income tax returns. I was caught up every year until 09. Now I am in fear of going to jail everyday because of arrearages in support. These laws are unjust and they infringe on my constitutional rights to pursue happiness. My children have never gone without and my ex holds a grudge. Everytime I fall behind more than a month she is at child support enforcement trying to get them to arrest me. The law has to be changed.

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Too Poor to Fight
by: Anonymous

My two boys are 18 and 20. I face 4 - 6 more years of support to their mother. She is taking me back for more money.----------------------------------Is there anyone out there with the finances to get these laws changed??????--------------------------------------------------------------------I am still homeless as I have been for the last 15 years.(Thanks to support)

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Money hungry baby mommas
by: Anonymous

For all the mothers who cannot take care of the child without the fathers financial assistance, I say think about giving the father custody, we're the one paying for everything anyway. Though the judicial system don't hold mothers accountable you're just as financially responsible for taking care of that child, with or without help. Again if you can't afford to take care of the child give us real fathers custody. We don't need your money.

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To Responsibility isn't fun
by: O RLY?

You sure do sound like a proud recipient of child support, or someone who thinks that the system is just perfect the way it is. But I digress, as my comment is more to counter the premise of your statement.
Yes, children deserve to receive proper support that covers their needs for food, shelter, clothing and proper educational needs.
No, child support is not "Ex" support; just as you say that Daddy is having a rough month, perhaps it would behoove you to get off your bottom and ensure that you are doing your part as well? Everyone can have a bad month, and sometimes people (in general) come up very short in terms of covering their financial obligations, especially in this economy.
And what if the non-custodial parent chooses to make a new life elsewhere that may include a reduction in pay? This non-custodial still pays their support as best as they can, but they are now suffering having to pay the same with less. Do you propose that they should not have moved? If so, do you know that you are supporting a violation of the 13th Amendment of the US Constitution, which prohibits (in this case) indentured servitude? Because telling a non-custodial parent that they shouldn't have moved and force them to find income equal to what the support was set at is just that.
I am all for children receiving support, as I pay my support without question. But I do question some of the people (usually women) who come on this blog and start spouting off about how the non-custodials (usually men) need to suck it up and stop complaining.

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i agree
by: Anonymous

the system needs to change money funds this corrupt system off the backs of mothers and fathers who truly want to be part of their childrens lives but cant or are met with prejudice the minute they enter that court room the childs best interest seems to get lost???

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Corruption in Family Court
by: Barbara Baillie

I am a single mother to 4 children; father makes $100,000 and pays $900 per month. Order was based on false debt, inflated expenses presented by my husband and his concealing of community assets he had hidden for over 10 years. I make $110,000. I returned to work full time, 1 year before, after 19 years in role as primary parent. Husband?s mental illness is documented and includes chronic endogenous depression, depressive personality disorder, generalized anxiety, obsessive-compulsive neurosis, passive dependence personality, paranoia and persecutory ideation, oppositional defiance disorder, mood lability. Judge ordered parent evaluation after review of psychological evaluation of husband. Evaluator recommended 90 minutes per week and sole decision making to mother. My husband refused communication since the release of the evaluation report. Our kids have medical conditions that require treatment, but husband refuses to share cost and won't forward insurance reimbursement for fees I pay and claim. He is profiting from medical care for our children. The Judge has action to rule after a trial of 9 days, 2 months ago. I have paid all family household costs since he left including mortgage, and real estate taxes which now total $57,000. Judge said to me I "made plenty of money so what was my problem". My husband?s only emotions are rage and apathy, and he told me he would financially devastate me because I tricked him and was unappreciative.

In family court, children are treated like property; their parents, a source of income. The Judges I have seen are arrogant, ignorant, and freely make decisions without regard to families or children. Judges seem to be interested in power to do what they please and maintaining control of parties. In my case, the Judge has limited substantial amounts of evidence and it appears consideration of all available evidence is not a priority. I see no criteria or process timeline that is followed and a total lack of oversight or review of judicial decisions or process. Without oversight, this situation will continue to be in opposition to the best interest of the children trapped in an unjust family court system operating without check. I find the neglect and damage is not unique to either gender. It appears to me that Judges are out of touch and uncaring.

I believe civil rights are violated in family court, the families involved are not in a position to demand just or timely resolution given financial and time constraints. Judges know this and attorneys mitigate parties so rulings aren?t questioned. The process infringes on the rights of US citizens, and there is blatant lack of accountability for those sworn to protect citizens and uphold law. I have been stunned by a process that condones a man abandoning his family and all adult responsibilities. Further, he is supported to further damage his family via the dissolution process set up without regard to damage it inflicts on the parties involved.


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Responsibility Isn't Always Fun
by: Anonymous

Squeezing blood from a stone, you say? How much squeezing do you think would be done if you were the one with custody of that child? Would that child stop eating just because daddy is having a rough month?

What exactly do you propose the system do to pound into the head of a non-payer the impact of his negligence? We shouldn't take his license or jail him and we should weep for his situation and hold his hand until it's all right. Meanwhile, who's weeping for the custodian who has to find a way to make up for your lack of ability to pay, or for the child that might be going without? Who's holding the hand of the parent who really can't afford simple things without your "generous contribution", and who is likely terrified that her inability to provide adequately without your support might land her in a Social Services situation?

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