Unwed Father Fighting w/ All I have for the 1 that matters most!
by Brad A Dickinson
(Pine Plain, NY Dutchess County U.S.)
My boy and I B4 things wents sour between his mother and I
I am a father of a 2yr old boy. I was never married to his mother. I pay $100 a week for my son and only make $300 from unemployment because; I was recently laid off from my well paying job. My case has not gone to court yet. I have a copy of my VAOP and my son birth certificate both with my valid signature, issuing me the right as legal father, in NY State. My sons mother regardless of all I help out with, sending care packages (diapers & gifts), more money the legally necessary and agreeing to fill out any type of paper work she needs from me to her, will not agree to let me see my son.
I'm allowed 5 minutes on the phone w/ him 3 times a week. It has been 3 months now since I have been a part of his life, other than financially or the random hearing of his voice. I have just recently petitioned the courts (Dutchess County) for custody, state set up child support, & right to visitation. My sons mother is an excellent mother to him, but at times she has been a wreck, drug using, even in front of him (crack, heroin, and many other narcotics), stealing from her own family and mine as well, and she stole money from my bank account and denied security camera footage... I don't know what to do! I literally have given my all for my family (inc. my sons mother) She left for "2 weeks" while my brother and his family were in town and, then decided to move back home w/ her parents in Long Isl. NY. She has already has a new boyfriend, that cheated on her earlier in her life.
It's NOT fair, that some other guy should have the right to spend time w/ my son and I can't!!! This infuriates me. Unwedded FATHERS should have the right to be w/ their child regardless of the mother decision... In my case there is nothing right about this circumstance!!! I have tried looking up information on my right to see my son and it seems the only way I will be able to, is by going to court. If you have a similar situation, I would advise you to either get your petition to paternity from your local family court a.s.a.p. or order a copy of your child?s birth certificate w/ VAOP attached online the web site is www.vitalchek.com for about $50 or less. You can save yourself the hassle of the court system for your rights considering yourself the "legal father" of your child. Then proceed the court on every term you can for your child, if you?re the first to make the move on being a part of your child's life it will look better for you in court! I was wondering if anyone had suggestions in the mean time because court can take up to 6 months or more to be finalized, or any way I could be active in my son's life and not just a pay check (without legal problems or complications).
My son is the most important person or thing in my life. Your answers could make a real difference for me and possibly many others! Is there a way to take this to the next level protecting others like myself to NOT have our children ripped from our lives and, get to enjoy raising our children before court or even entirely outside of court!!! Good fathers disserve there children and to be able to influence the upbringing, not have some other person, try to replace you as a father!