Very sad, frustrated and not sure of what to do

by Cathy
(Florida)

I am now disabled and can't work. My ex-husband owes over $46,000 in child support. He has earned really large money in the past. I know in 2001 he averaged $25,000 a month, yet didn't pay any child support. He lies to the courts and the judge seems to believe him every time. He is to pay $150 a week in child support and just refuses to do so.

The state finally was able to garnish his wages and after just one paycheck he quit his job! He has had nothing to do with our daughter. She is almost 14 and he has only seen her a few times in her life. He was actually with another woman the day she was born. He was an abusive husband too. I know she is probably better off without him. I just am so sad and don't know where to turn. I feel so alone.

Some times it seems that I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. My daughter is pretty understanding, but some times she feels jealous of other children who have loving fathers and money to do things. Right now we can't even afford to eat at McDonalds. Life is so tough now.

Her birthday is coming up in two weeks and I am feeling so horrible as I don't know what to even do for her.

I didn't worry about him not paying before as I made enough to take care of us, but now I can't work and I am hoping to be approved for Disability. I was denied once and so hope they will approve me on an appeal.

Life is just so tough now. My ex-husband is working and has money, but he just won't pay any. I have never been mean to him or hurt him in any way ever.

Right now, though, I just feel so discouraged. I wish he could be made to pay. I don't understand why the judge never does anything to him. He promises to pay a certain payment and never does, yet he never gets punished for it.

I don't want him in jail-- I just wish he would pay what he can as right now I really need some help.

He has never bought our daughter anything for a Birthday and only remembered 2 Christmasses in her life.

He has another daughter who he sees every other weekend and does for. He is divorced from her mother as again he was abusive, but at least this time he does care for his daughter.

I am happy for her, but also sad for my daughter as she has never had a father.

Thank you for listening. If anyone has any advice I would love it.

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Totally can relate!!
by: Anonymous

I'm dealing with an abusive narcissistic sociopath, who happens to be a general surgeon. I supported him throughout his medical training for 10 yrs. He knew nothing about life, never traveled out of his state of PA ever, totally uncultured, never played anything, nor swam, nor skiied, nor skated, nor boated, theaters, opera and symphonies. Who doesn't know how to swim in this age?! Good grief! Showed him everything he knows now, which he uses to lure women, to pretend he has any class. I paid for his swim lessons when he was 28yrs old, along with the wedding, carribean trips, cruises, honeymoon, home renovations! I taught him everything about life which his family never taught him. I bought him whatever he wanted, even the Rolex as wedding gift. I worked my tail off, and very successful at my career at the time to support him in his medical training. He thanked me in front of his entire graduating medical class that he would never have made it through medical training and residency if it weren't for me, I was pregnant with my first baby. We moved to NC b/c he wanted to finally provide me a better living down South, b/c it's cheaper to live there. I'm a city girl, but I compromised as a supporting wife. I gave up my successful career at the height of my career believing his empty promises. When I had my first angel, I stayed home, playing the doctor's wife, put all my energy into helping his practice to setup, hostess dinner parties for referrals, etc. I then caught my ex on porn websites, perverted teen websites, he started affairs with his secretary and nurses, it was like an explosion of ego! Once he became an MD, no laws or rules applied to him. He became abusive verbally, mentally, and physically. Long demented story short, he met a Philipino girl online, married her within one month of meeting her online using my timeshare out of the country for their honeymoon, while we were still married!! I thought bigamy is illegal?! He used my timeshares to take her and other women on trips, without me ever knowing, b/c he became such a good liar. The second he makes any income, he's sure to spend it that day, so he doesn't have to pay child support. His constant excuses are, he's not making enough money to pay taxes, can't eat, can't pay his bills. But he's seen riding a Harley-Davidson which he bought cash, his truck cash, and his 800K mansion, which he foreclosed on in 6 months after purchasing it. But if it's to pay child support, he never has the money.


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To sad and frustrated
by: Anonymous

I used to live in Indiana, and collected child support from my ex-husband through a wage withholding order. When he switched jobs, he didn't bother to let me know, so the support stopped. I contacted the prosecutor's office and they were able to find out where he was working through a software program that looks for him (by tracing him through taxes or social security being withheld from his paycheck for example). They tracked him within about a month and filed a new wage withholding order on my behalf. My understanding is that this is a nationwide system. You might check with the prosecutor's office in your state.

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I wish you were My Ex
by: Larry of Tucson

I hope this makes you feel better. I wish you were my ex. I would have paid you weather you had a job or not, just for taking care of my daughter and understanding a father needs to be a part of there childs life.I hope you can get him good. I only say that because of fathers like myself who have been screwed out of a life with there child and money. And irresponsible assholes like your ex who make the rest of us look like emotionalless brainless men. Please Read my Blog "No One Wants the Child Support". I love my children and would pay a million a month if I could afford it just to be a part of there lives. I missed so much time with my daughter from age 3 to 16 and I tried to pay they closed my case, quashed my wages, and refused payment for over 8 years "Read My Blog NO ONE WANTS THE CHILD SUPPORT" and now I/WE have to pay out our butts for doing nothing wrong and now my 5, 10, 15 year old children are going to have to suffer the judicial systems finacial wrath on our lives. I would like to wish you good luck in getting the real "DEAD BEAT DAD" but please do wish me luck in fighting the "IRRESPONSIBLE, GREEDY CUSTODIAL PARENT"

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