Very screwed father

by Tom
(Port Orchard Washington USA)

My story is quite messed up. I live in Kitsap county in Washington state. I have been dealing with child support and a very vindictive mother who has cause me many many nights of no sleep and a ton of stress. So here goes my story.

June 19,2011, I was dropping off my child to her mother in a vacant parking lot. She immediately started in on me, threatening me about taking me to court and sue me to pay for dance classes for our child. I reminded her that the judge told her exactly where to go on that situation. So she continued threatening me and calling me names in front of my child. The mother to my child has been ordered many many many times by the kitsap superior court judge to not do this in front of my child. So, i turned around and told her to knock it off and that our child is way more mature than she is. She is still threatening me at this point trying to make me look like a bad father to my child. The mother of my child gets mad at me because i will not put any extra money over to help her raise our child. Right Now she is getting $353 a month from me, plus medical, plus dental, plus vision. She was getting daycare up until my child turned 12 this year. I have to continuosly remind her that every time i buy her clothes, buy her stuff she needs. Every stick of clothes and jackets and shoes wind up in a consignment store within 2 days of the stuff going to their home. So, i stopped buying extra stuff. Anyways, i was mad and called her one dirty name. An hour later, Her son (no relation to me) comes to my home, beats on my door to the point he was going to break it. Then when i answered the door, he threatens my life because i called his mom a "bitch". Since then, I have not had any communications with my child. My weekend visitations and holiday was this 4th of july weekend. The mother to my child refused to answer my messages. I text my child and i get 3 texts out of her and they all point to her mother is refusing to let me have my visitations. Now, every time the mother to my child does something wrong and gets caught. She cuts off all communications and interfers severely with my time and my relationship with my child.

We have been to court 15 times in 12 years. The courts here treat me as if i am a deadbeat and an outcast. The judges do not listen to all of the statements before they make their rulings. The mother to my child has been hit with contempt of court in our last court case. The courts gave her a $100 fine per contempt and the contempts are purged from her record when she pays the fines. My crumby lawyer told me it takes 3 contempts to get custody of my child. Now i am back to trying to bust her in court.

I am so tired of fighting with her all the time. I am tired of being threatened every time i turn around. I am doing as i am ordered by the courts. The more i do research on stopping child support and getting a woman who is extremely dangerous out of my life. The more i find that i am severely screwed by the courts here. I am in a no win situation. I can not afford to pay a lawyer to go after her again. I am having a hell of a time getting to see my child.

Like i said before. This is an ongoing problem and the lawyers and the courts do not want to do anything about it. So, i am stuck in between a rock and a hard place.

The courts say that we are not to talk about any of this to the child. You know, the courts need to look at that again. My child has the right to know how dangerous her mother is. But the courts restrict me from telling my child anything about her mother.

So now i have to go get a loan to pay my over priced lawyer to take the mother of my child back to court. It has taken me 13 years to put $2000 in the bank and the lawyer takes $1800. When i ask for help from washington state. They just raise my payments.

I have every court order in a binder so I can look at the orders. I have followed every order that was every given. What happens to me? I get threatened by the state of washington to force me into a better paying job. I get threatened by the mother of my child and I live under the threat from washington state to lose my commercial drivers license, my fishing license and go to jail.

What is a guy suppose to do? I am honest and I get screwed. She does not follow the orders. What happens to her? She gets her hand slapped and gets to keep custody. The courts here in kitsap county are extremely unfair and very one sided. If you every hear of any man who has been screwed by the courts here. You will hear him call this county "kidnap" county. That is the only way to get to see your child.