Virginia's crazy support system

by JERRY
(NORFOLK, VA)

My story has been going on for 14yrs and i haven't won yet. I'm the father of three children 21,18,16. Who really didn't have much contact with my kids, by force not chose, I got tired of going to jail for no reason. Paying child support is not a issue with me, it's where the money is going (not to the kids). when i ask about the money 12yrs ago in court, I was told "ONCE THE MONEY LEAVE YOUR HANDS, IT IS NO LONGER YOUR CONCERN" then i asked about how my kids where being taken care of.


I was then told " THE NON-CUSTODIAL PARENT ALWAYS FEEL THAT THE CHILDREN ARE NOT BEING TAKEN CARE OF". fast forward to 2007, my oldest son, who was still in high school then, called me and said the "momma put me out and i have no where to live". So, i bring him to live with me. After a few conversation and questions from him about what his mother said about me. I had to set him straight. NOW, ARE YOU READY!!!

My son stated that I wasn't sending any support for him and his siblings, so his mother said. I pulled out all my check stubs and showed him that i was send $1200 a month for the last 12yrs, that's 14,400 a year. now know this, my childern didn't know that since my departure, i've sent $172,800. So, on the first of the month, he called and asked her for $20 and she yelled that "I AINT GOT NO MONEY"======== "ONCE THE MONEY LEAVE YOUR HANDS, IT'S NO LONGER YOUR CONCERN"

My next son, who is now 18. He has been in the 9th grade since 2007 with .5 credits as of today. From January of this year to now, he has missed 36 days of school. He has 5 full pages of disciplinary action and my Ex has said nothing about this. She has threatened to put him out the house. I'm not on the emergency call list at school, because my Ex told the school, She didn't know how to contact me.

My daughter 16yrs old, who is in the 9th grade is heading down the same path as my son (missing school, grades, fighting).======== "THE NON-CUSTODIAL PARENT ALWAYS FEEL THAT THE CHILDREN ARE NOT BEING TAKEN CARE OF"

I was just in court last week to get my child support reduced, because i retired from the military and not making the money that i once was. It took me 9 months to get a court date set. I submitted the paper work in September of '09 when i retired that's when my income went down, but child support stayed the same. SO, I GOT BEHIND. The support did get reduced starting May 1st 2010 but it wasn't retro active from September '09. Between September '09-May 2010, i over paid $6,400 that i will never get back, then I was told that "MY CHILD SUPPORT WILL BE BASED ON WHAT MY INCOME SHOULD BE, NOT WHAT IT IS" Plus being that my Ex has another child "THAT MAKES MY PERCENTAGE GO UP, SO I HAVE TO PAY MORE". So, I'm paying for a child that's not mine (by proof), an 18 yr old that's still in and will never graduate high school and my 16 yr old that don't even know that i'm sending support to her.

WELCOME TO THE CHILD SUPPORT COURTS OF VIRGINIA


THIS IS WHY MOST MEN DON'T LIKE PAYING CHILD SUPPORT IN VIRGINIA

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My hatred of the system
by: James T Lockhart

When this started 8 years ago I was charged with arrears even though I was paying support before anything was ordered even had proof(bank statements with copies of the checks she signed and cashed)they wasnt good enough because they wasnt on a statement by themselves and now because of one term on my support order(it says weekly and I get paid bi-weekly)every time there are 5 weeks in a month I owe $100 plus intrest I filed for a reduction they looked at my $9.30/hr and her $20.00/hr and decided I should be paying more mean while I have to explain to my other son that he cant have new shoes for school because of a child that he's never seen and one that i've seen like a handful of times needs $512 a month in support and at every turn to try to get help all I get is no.no.no

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Mother stealing the profit!!!
by: Anonymous

I'm the wife of a man that was trapped just like any other young man trapped in a situation where the female felt the only way to hold on to this man was to get pregnant and have a baby?? I have been with this MAN for 17yrs and knew,saw and felt everything he went through with this young girl. Not saying it was the first but the main one to feel that she felt to hold on to him was to go and get the white man involved and we all know that is CHILDSUPPORT!!!! Why a female fells this is the way to hold on to a man I will never understand but anyway. The child is now 21yrs old and has never seen one dime from the father. My husband has been paying childsupport and still is and the mother has lied about her income. Why is it that he has to still have money coming out of his check and his son doesn't see one red dime. What can we do to make it so that his son which has children of his own, if the money is owed so be it but we just want it to go to his son. Not his no good ass mother to spend on herself and anything or anyone else. Please help me and give me an answer to this problem yet situation that I have going on.

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a father that feels your pain ...
by: Anonymous

my x has abused me in the state of missouri 4 13 years as well .. I am current in child support and pay full health insurance yet refuses 2 let me see them . Its very painful 4 me at times and the cost of hiring attorneys constantly is very expensive .. My only hope anymore is that these young guys considering marriage or having children b extremely careful.. with

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your not alone
by: Anonymous

few questions if your local there is a few things you can do for one go to their school, let them know the situtation and give them your contact info if the children don't want to be with their mom their at a legal age where it's up to them not the mother, which would change the support your paying drastically ,after three years of fighting with the court system i have 49/51 custody which gives me rights to how my children are raised if things get out of hand due to the ex you go to court and prove your participation with your children school and activities and maybe you can improve your chances of custody thus lower support and then at least that money your spending goes where it's supposed to a little more good luck

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Get a Lawyer
by: Anonymous

Get a good woman lawyer. If i read it right it will only be maybe 3or 2 more years . Hang in their and keep all receipts. Good luck . Men in this country are being abused by the system.

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