Virginia's crazy support system

by JERRY
(NORFOLK, VA)

My story has been going on for 14yrs and i haven't won yet. I'm the father of three children 21,18,16. Who really didn't have much contact with my kids, by force not chose, I got tired of going to jail for no reason. Paying child support is not a issue with me, it's where the money is going (not to the kids). when i ask about the money 12yrs ago in court, I was told "ONCE THE MONEY LEAVE YOUR HANDS, IT IS NO LONGER YOUR CONCERN" then i asked about how my kids where being taken care of.

I was then told " THE NON-CUSTODIAL PARENT ALWAYS FEEL THAT THE CHILDREN ARE NOT BEING TAKEN CARE OF". fast forward to 2007, my oldest son, who was still in high school then, called me and said the "momma put me out and i have no where to live". So, i bring him to live with me. After a few conversation and questions from him about what his mother said about me. I had to set him straight. NOW, ARE YOU READY!!!

My son stated that I wasn't sending any support for him and his siblings, so his mother said. I pulled out all my check stubs and showed him that i was send $1200 a month for the last 12yrs, that's 14,400 a year. now know this, my childern didn't know that since my departure, i've sent $172,800. So, on the first of the month, he called and asked her for $20 and she yelled that "I AINT GOT NO MONEY"======== "ONCE THE MONEY LEAVE YOUR HANDS, IT'S NO LONGER YOUR CONCERN"

My next son, who is now 18. He has been in the 9th grade since 2007 with .5 credits as of today. From January of this year to now, he has missed 36 days of school. He has 5 full pages of disciplinary action and my Ex has said nothing about this. She has threatened to put him out the house. I'm not on the emergency call list at school, because my Ex told the school, She didn't know how to contact me.

My daughter 16yrs old, who is in the 9th grade is heading down the same path as my son (missing school, grades, fighting).======== "THE NON-CUSTODIAL PARENT ALWAYS FEEL THAT THE CHILDREN ARE NOT BEING TAKEN CARE OF"

I was just in court last week to get my child support reduced, because i retired from the military and not making the money that i once was. It took me 9 months to get a court date set. I submitted the paper work in September of '09 when i retired that's when my income went down, but child support stayed the same. SO, I GOT BEHIND. The support did get reduced starting May 1st 2010 but it wasn't retro active from September '09. Between September '09-May 2010, i over paid $6,400 that i will never get back, then I was told that "MY CHILD SUPPORT WILL BE BASED ON WHAT MY INCOME SHOULD BE, NOT WHAT IT IS" Plus being that my Ex has another child "THAT MAKES MY PERCENTAGE GO UP, SO I HAVE TO PAY MORE". So, I'm paying for a child that's not mine (by proof), an 18 yr old that's still in and will never graduate high school and my 16 yr old that don't even know that i'm sending support to her.

WELCOME TO THE CHILD SUPPORT COURTS OF VIRGINIA


THIS IS WHY MOST MEN DON'T LIKE PAYING CHILD SUPPORT IN VIRGINIA