Wanting better things for my child & I
by Glen Gary Jr
I'm a 31 year old single parent of a 10 year old girl who is my world. I have been struggeling since the day my daughter was born to be able to see her & be her father not just a part of her life! My daughter means the world to me & more. She is a very smart Healthy young lady with so much potential in life and the opportuneties to be so much more.
From day 1 I was denied my rights as a father. I spent so much time preparing for her arrival working hard everyday as a Union Bricklayer, Union Laboror, Security at an arena and night club staff. the day I found out I was going to be a dad was the happiest day of my life. Though I was not married & had only been with the mom for a short time I had confidence in what was to come. I supported mom throughout her pregnancy & stood beside her decision to be the mother of our child. I had hoped that things would work out and we would give our child the life we always wanted.
A short time into her Pregnancy things changed & I realized it was going to be a little difficult ( So I Thought). Well things turned out to be a whole lot worse than I had thought. I soon came to realize my dreams of being the father I always wanted to be were not going to happen.
The day my daughter was born I got a call saying mom was having the baby. I left my late night job to rush to the Hospital to be by moms side like I had Promised & to continue to support her. once I had arrived at the Hospital I came to find out mom was already in the delivery room. I was told I would have to wait in the waiting room. As I sat there waiting my Mother had arrived. we both sat waiting in anticipation of my daughters arrival. It had Been several hours I was about as happy as could be. 14 hour total we sat waiting once my daughter had arrived a nurse greeted us to let us know that I was the Proud father of a 6 lb 6oz bay girl but that I would not be able to see her!... ? Confused my mother & I asked why? why couldn't I see my new born Baby girl? the nurse left us and a supervising nurse came out . the supervising nurse told us that I would be unable to see the baby for fear that I would take the new born baby from the hospital.
According to mom "I had threatened to take the baby away from her".? greatfully my mom had worked at the hospital previously and the nursing supervisor was formiliar with her. They talked and my mother was allowed to see the baby. Mom (my mom) was able to talk the nursing supervisor into letting me see my new born child "under the watchfull eye of the hospital security" & this was only the beginning of what has been a long hard struggle to survive.
After several years of fighting to be able to see my Daughter. Through court proceedings and D.N.A. tests and loosing several jobs. I was finally granted visitations and ordered to pay more than half of what I was now making in Childsupport. Mom still continued to deny me my rights to visit with my daughter. Filing bogus restraining orders and moving out of state. Court proceeding cost me yet another job & several others after that. Soon later it became a struggle just for me to survive let alone provide for my child. Without the childsupport mom turned to her family (System Leaches) who told her if she claimed disability she would get money for her & child. So un benonced to me mom began a prosess known as "Munch housing" claiming my daughter had illnesses that were non-existant.
Once I found out what was going on I tried to file for custody and had no proof to show what mom was doing because I was denied doctors, school & any other Records because I had no Legal Rights to my daughter till I had potitioned for paternaty and had an order put into place stating that I now had shared "Legal" custody of my daughter. though I still had not known where /what doctors my daughter had seen or would be seeing or what schools she had gone to or would be going to We had an order put into place stating to be actively involved in my childs life mom was to provide a list of all previous doctor, schools & any other leagal information that I was entitled to "to Date" & any future doctors appointments I was to be made awear of, as well as any major decissions to be made were to be agreed apone and in writing within 7 days of that order. here it is several years later order in place & still no list> I have fallen unreasonable behind on childsupport & have the department of child services telling me the have received a number of calls regarding my daughters attendance in school.
This happens year after year but can not keep documented because of moms moves from state to state. Also because I have hallen In arrears in childsupport I fear going to court to file for custody with no proof as to what has been happening in my daughters life. "The proof is in the records I told the social worker". Those records wich I have been unable to obtain. It has become such a struggle that I have left the state in which I was living to try to obtain work. I feel like I have abandoned my daughter & in her most desperate time of need but feel there is nothing more I can do... I know my daughter is suffering through neglect & have tried to prove it over & over agian. I left her with mom & feel regrete every moment but without the help of Thew government there seems to be nothing I can do... & who would blame them for not wanting to help. after all it is a mess they created! So to all the sruggeling fathers out there we need to unite! fight for our rights as fathers so this will not happen to fathers in the future. Why sould the government raise the children "We" created... I Love You Kristina! you're Daddy little Girl