What can I do?

by Bryna
(Iowa)

I have been reading all of the posts because I am trying to figure out what else can be done in my case. To make a long story short and to give everyone an idea of what my ex-husband is like; If I looked around, no matter where we were at he would go into some psychotic ordeal accusing me of looking at this man or that woman and yes, he is such an insanely jealous man that he implied lesbian tendencies (no thank you). That is the least of his behavior and I will not bore anyone with all the gory details, only a few pertaining to the children. While going through the divorce and after the divorce I did my best to deal with his behavior for the kids, I wanted the boys to have their father in their life without restriction but all of my compromises and concessions made everything worse. He informed our sons that he was going to kill me, kill himself, and it was my entire fault. He threatened to kill our sons and myself and that was when I got an order for supervised visits in the presence of my parents and a restraining order to keep him away from me. He told me in these exact words," If I can't have you, I don't want them", meaning our two sons; I replied with "You cannot have me and you do not deserve them." He said he wanted to give up his rights and I said no.

One wonders why I wouldn't allow him to give up his rights and why I persue child support! I would not allow him to give up his rights because that decision belongs to my children when they are of age, that decision does not belong to a man that is trying to get out of his responsibilities. I peruse child support because it is expensive to raise children in this day and age and the way I see it, he helped to create our children, so, he can help financially support them. He has purposely not laid eyes on his own sons in almost 4 years and this has been his choice. He is of the opinion that if he doesn't care about them and does not want them then he has no responsibly to them. He feels that child support is for the mother not the children! How wrong is that! We have two beautiful, athletic, and intelligent sons; what I want to know is how can a man not want his sons? How can any man not want to be at his sons sporting events? How can any parent just throw away their children like trash??

I have been attempting to do something about my child support case for a long time. This is the scenario; first off he crossed state lines to evade paying child support, a felony. The ex pays child support long enough to get the authorities off his back and then promptly quits his job. This was going on until last year when I decided to go through Support Kids; a company based out of Texas, where my ex was born and raised and now lives again. SK took the case and a year later they turned the case back over to the state of Iowa (where my sons and I live) without so much as a "sorry, we can't help you". Now I am back to square one again. Interstate cases take a year to see any results.

This man has gotten away Scott free for years and I am sick of it. Child support enforcement cannot take his license because he has had it suspended (too many DUI's) and then taken away, he owes the IRS over 20,000 dollars (he doesn't file his taxes and the IRS won't do anything) and so they cannot take his tax refund, and to top it all off, his mommy and daddy bail him out at every turn (his parents know and/or are related to all of the higher officials in the great state of Texas). He has not served any jail time nor been made to pay his child support for over two years, why won't the government do something when they know
certain people have a certain pattern and that they habitually repeat this? What can I do?

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In Texas
by: Anonymous

You should have let him sign away his rights. I would never want my children associated with a man of such low integrity. You obviously can take care of your children on your own as hard as it may be. But now you are causing yourself and your children more stress by persuing a deadbeat retard that wants nothing to do with you guys. I'm so sorry you are going through this, but I believe that in the long run....he will get what he deserves.

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