What can I do?

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What can I do?

by Sarah
(Marengo, Illinois)

I am a fifteen year old girl looking for some help. Now I know some people will automatically close the browsing page; but hear me out. My mother works two to three jobs at a time to take care of her three children, my father has no custody of me and I think, don't quote me, but he may have signed my birth certificate. Now, how do I go about nicely to tell him I need money for the car I plan to get in a few months. He has never paid a dime and I have seen me three times in my life. If he holds to his word, I will be meeting with him Wednesday, May 5th of 2010. I plan to explain everything and bring up the subject of child support. But of course, being the child and him still biologically my father I don't wish to upset him or anything like that. But he has never paid a dime and I have a really good chance at finally getting my life started and make something of myself. I really don't want to stay in the current lifestyle I'm in and a kick start from him would mean a lot. Even more if he didn't fight me on it so I don't want to offend him. Any suggestions on how to bring up such a heavy discussion with a complete stranger to my life?

Please don't leave anything about how my mother has to do it, she has run herself ragged with work and can't afford a lawyer to go after him.

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What can I do?

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Jun 19, 2010
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Paternity
by: Anonymous

Paternity is where it all begins. If you parents were married at the time you were conceived and neither thinks there was an issue, then usually in the divorce decree it will state child support and the duties your father has. If it does your mother does not need a lawyer because the support was already issued by the court, and any and all payments of support need to be done through the attorney general's office. However if she intends on filing her own contempt charges on top of that, then she will need a lawyer. The attorney general's office in each state has all the guide-lines. If the divorce does not mention any support then you would have to ask him for it, but I would get it in writing. I dont' mean to be callus. It is so great when people can just do what they say and say what they mean. Then laws are not necessary. I hope that the meeting with you dad went well, and that you get a handle on what your rights are. Really ultimately you teach people how to treat you. I am very sorry that he's never done anything for you. I'd be certain of that as some times not everything is as it appears. Give yourself time to absorb everything. You are a smart girl for reaching out for help, you will surely find it!

Jun 08, 2010
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Dear "What can I do?"
by: Anonymous

First, I hope he showed up, & it went well. Second I hope you didn't listen to this guy with the WOW comment, he obviously has issues. It absolutly is your money & If your father didn't want to support you he shouldn't have had you. You dont just bring a child into this world, create a life and than just dump it off on someone elses lap & say "you do it." If thats truly how he felt he should have signed away his rights, or offered to give you up for adoption, a chance at having a father's love is better than none at all, even if its not your biological father. One of today's major problems with society it that people have stopped taking personal responsibility for themselves & their actions, intentional or not. As the adult, setting a good example for todays youth is the right thing to do. So if you had anything to do with delibritly not seeing your father, he should still be the adult & show you forgiveness and give you a second chance and in turn, teach you forgiveness. But whether he avoided you or you avoided him, he is still the one who contributed to creating your life & is there for responsible financially & emotionally! Good Luck, if he doesn't show & you have no choice but to fend for yourself(which would be so wrong,no Child should have to)just remember..you can do it, I have faith in you as I am sure your Mother does too. She sounds like an excellent example of what one person can accomplish when challenges present themselves, and she has clearly made many sacrifices for you,like any good parent should do.

May 05, 2010
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just ask
by: Anonymous

just bring it up like you said, my sister and self were the same way we saw our father 3 times in our younger lifetime, on occasion my sister would ask him for assistance financially and he would agree but only if she would go visit him which she didn't want to do so she would decline the money. If nothing else, when you turn 18 YOU can file through department of child support enforcement and get all that back child support to help you start your college career. No matter how much time passes he is still obligated to pay that back child support. And your mom wouldn't need a lawyer all she would have to do is file through DCSE. If he doesn't have the money then they will start putting leans on his property (yes they did it to my dad)

Apr 29, 2010
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WOW
by: Anonymous

sounds like you dont like your father but you want his money? How about you wait until your 16 and get a job like the rest of us do. You get this idea that this "stranger" will give you money and your life will be so much better. Well hunny money isnt everything and people have to work for when they have.
Icouldnt get a car until i was 18 and i had to get a loan that i am still paying off. Not a lot of people can just get money from strangers to "get a car". Asking this man for money would be the rudest thing you could do. How about you form a relatonship first. Just because he is your "father" doesnt mean its yur rite to asking him to buy you a car.
Stay in school, dont have sex, go to college and better yourself. Dont be like your mother and dont be like your father. Get a job and save your money!!!! Dont rely on ANYONE but yourself to make your life better and DO NOT rely on money that is not yours!

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