What's Luck Got To Do With it ?

by Asia
(Virginia)

Where do I begin, I'm reading through all these stories and testimonies and while it's clear that the child support laws, policy and procedures needs to be revamped and revised my story truly shows how even the Custodial parents can be screwed by the system. I'm 29 years old I have a son with an active duty member or the Navy. My son is now 5 and since 2005 his Dad was ordered to pay approx $400 a month. Please keep in mind that the order was drafted when I was on maternity leave so my income nor day-care expenses was taken in account. Anyway since my son's father and I could not get along and I just wanted peace and quiet in my life I decided to just wait until 3 years time to request a review of my order.


In 2008 I went to the child support office and requested a review of the order. My son's father who at this time is still in the Navy and hadn't seen or spoken to me or my son in 3years shows up to the office the same week with his letter of notification and his LES (military pay stub)in hand. The case worker contacted me while he was in their office to advised me that she has to put a hold on my review because he told them my son wasn't his and he was filing a petition for a DNA test. He petitioned me to court September of 2008,we did the test early OCT 2008, the results were back to the courts OCT 22,2008. Once I got the results from the clerk 99.99% he could not be excluded as the father.(DUH!!!!)I called him thinking this would give him a change of heart. He cursed me out told me it still wasn't his kid and by 8pm that night he had his cell phone turned off.

I went back to child support to have them continue the review of the support order and was told by the caseworker she totally stopped my review because I didn't bring her a copy of the DNA results... Huh? This is where I flipped. First of all the Child Support office has had a signed Acknowledgment of Paternity and a Birth Certificate with my son's Dad name on it since 2005. I was confused as to why the DNA would've held my review up. I immediately asked for a supervisor who reinstated my request. Approximately 20 days letter I was advised that all the letters they where mailing to my son's dad where coming back with a P.O Box forwarding address and they could not serve notice to a P.O Box. They also tired to call him on his number was disconnected. This went on for almost 2years. March 10th 2010 I walked into the child support office and convinced them to try his original address again. I mean we knew he was still in the Navy because my son's $400 was in my account faithfully. And trust me that whole $400 went straight to his day care every month.

So they mailed him a letter this time indicating that amount that child support called for an increase to $800. In 3days he was in the office letter in hand going nutts, he started making up lies telling them he had 2 more kids and that he pays $150 a month for dental coverage for my son (what)? The case worker puts this info in her computer and drops my son's support to $750. After all the hassle I said cool. That wasn't enough for him, he filed an appeal. During the appeal the $150 dental cost was questioned he told a bag of lies I called United Concordia (military dental) and found out the cost was $12 a month. So that made the child support go back up to $840 even with him getting credit for the alleged 2 children he claims he has (still waiting for proof). Before the appeal decision was made he ran down to the courts and filled out a request for support order.

So right after he appealed through the child support Administrative judge, we were back in court May 6 2010. The judge gave us 2 worksheets one with the $840 if he did have two dependent biological kids living in his home, and $946 if he didn't. He looks at both and of course chooses the lesser. What a fight. Just when he realized he wasn't going to win even after all the lies. Child support hits him with the bill 840 minus $400 times the 18 months he should've been paying a higher amount. They retroactively credited my case back to September of 2008. Now he's $6000 in the arrears and fighting that now.

Listen you think I'm not tired, frustrated,pissed off. I work my son's dad makes $60K in the Navy, he lies and lies and lies. He just came back from 8month deployment and dropped $30K on a new car. For a total of 3 cars paid for. The least he can do is pay the 6K and keep it moving. To wait 2 whole years for a review, just to have the custodial parent willfully evade child support not give them his contact info and then get credit for kids he don't have. I thought it was good to be patient. I thank God everyday that he took care of myself and my son those 2years my Job with one of the World's biggest shipping companies decided to drastically cut back hours without notice. Meanwhile the military got raises every year. I have a lot of respect for our service members I have family and friends that serve. But people can't use the military as an excuse to dodge and run and evade child support.

The review could've resulted in and increase or decrease or stayed the same. Why hide out for 2years while money piles up. And no credit to the Child Support office either lazy set of worker's who think their lawyers. I want to sue them for mis-handling my case and violating a Federal law. I spoke to 2many lawyers who acknowledge every parent non custodial or custodial has a right to a review under Federal Law every 3 years unless you get gov't assistance it's automatic done bi-annually. Every parent can also request a review if there is an increase or decrease of 25% or higher in wages or daycare expense and it is retroactive from the day the non-requesting party receives notice. So after all this back and forth when people say "oh your son's Dad's in the military, your so lucky" I just look at them and say," what's luck got to do with it."

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