When will there be change

by Luthor
(USA)

I have experienced and still live many of the horror stories on this site. I call them horror stories because child support has become a grossly abused but albeit necessary evil. The problem is that the fathers who actually do as a father should more than just financially are fodder for an unbalanced and unfair system.


Child support should be used to take care of a child. That's a no-brainer. Child support should not be used as a tool by a vindictive parent to get even with another parent. Child support should not mean that the other parent should suffer financially. But in this day and age it does. Time and time again child support and it many resources, checks and balances are used to discourage, beat down and demoralize the non-custodial parent in most cases men.

A father can be jailed for non-compliance to a child support order but what is the penalty for a mother that denies him the right to see his child/children when its court ordered that he can. And let's not forget the role of law enforcement (Philadelphia being one of the worst)when it comes to enforcement. Arrested at your job or at home for non-compliance to pay. But When it comes time to simply file a report because the custodial parent does not adhere to the order, no one wants to get involved. Shameful.

Just as eager as these officers are to laugh and joke, to demean and insinuate about an individual, they should show the same bravado when enforcing court ordered visitation, not just court ordered support. The laws are extremely one-sided. Child support has become a blank check that can be used by women, to threaten, intimidate and abuse a man. For every story you hear about a dead-beat dad there are dozens more who have stepped up but are now trapped in a system where the mother can pull his strings as easily as a puppeteer makes a marionette dance. Where's our advocacy?! Where's our lobbyist?! What happened to our rights? Or did I assume too much and that we have none once a child is born.

I have been to child support offices in 5 different east coast states(not because I have children in them) and will be heading to more soon to make an observations. In my recent visits find it disheartening that the ratio of case workers/case managers, etc. have a female to male ratio of about 4 to 1 in each office, what also concerns me is the discriminatory attitude shone to each male visitor who walks through these doors unless accompanied by legal counsel(which really isn't much help). You are wrong from the time you sit down. One proceeding that I observed even allowed a verbal statement to be accepted as verification of income for the father from the mother. He was then told that it could be up to three months to appeal, but his wages would be garnished by his next pay. Sad, indeed especially when he sat there waiting for his name to be called palms sweating with his just above minimum wage pay stubs in his hand, at that time they were not entered into evidence as verification of wages, who knows what happened later.. These are the practices that need to stop.

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ONLY WHEN , WE THE PEOPLE
by: FIGHT BACK AMERICA

it will change when people start getting killed over this government ran nazi organization.

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Get your facts straight.
by: Anonymous

To this ignorant woman - you cannot stereotype everyone because of your predicament. I too am educated. I pay $1200 a month and because I had the nerve to want a decent life and family, I remarried and had a daughter. GOD for give me! MY ex was given the home in our divorce worth nearly $380,000 in exchange for me paying $50 a week support when I earned $200 a week. But then when my salary increased she petitioned the court and had the amount changed to an amount so high that I was forced to live in a car for a year. When I got back on my feet enough to get an apartment she had it increased again and I had to move into my car for another 7 months. I have my support garnished from my salary and can barely pay the rent and buy food for my current family. My ex earns more than I do. The house we exchanged in the divorce is fully paid for. She has redone the house, redecorated, new kitchen, has bought a new car, and has travelled all over the US with my kids. I haven't seen them in 5 years because I am forced to work almost every weekend to survive. This weekend she is taking my daughter to Paris for the next 4 days for her 12th birthday. I'm lucky if I can take my 4 year old to McDonalds for a happy meal. So next time you decide to shout your mouth at everyone try to remember that you are one insignificant ass out of millions of other people who have as much trouble with the system that you have on both sides of the issue.

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Loss of Rights
by: Anonymous

You are correct. There are no rights or even consideration unless you are represented by an attorney. My support is wage garnished. It has been for 12 years now. Even though I physically show the paystubs with the garnishment to Child support officers they continue to claim arrears time and again. It has gotten to the point where every 2 years I am faced with a tax offset that I have to argue because of the accounting and processing of payments by their office. They continue to disregard my evidence and continue to claim arrears. So now, I have obtained legal counsel. He admits I have a case against the state for placing liens and judgments against me even though I have provided evidence of my compliance with the support order but to move forward he needs a large retainer that I cannot afford. So, without his representation I have no recourse and to get his representation I need to go further into debt. My ex is taking my 12 year old daughter to Paris for a 4 day weekend for her birthday. I haven't seen my kids in 5 years. My present wife and our 4 year old can't afford to go to McDonalds. Where is the justice.

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To Get your Facts Striaght!!
by: Stepmother of 3

I am an educated women, I don't care about the money my husband pays for his child support, AS LONG AS HIS CHILDREN ARE WELL CARED FOR!!!! It makes me mad when women like you label all dads dead beats, because your man is a peice of S&^t! My husband and I try to provide everything we can for his children. Now lets turn the table His childrens mothers are the dead beats they don't care for the children, they leave the children at other family members homes for weeks on end, my step daughter was left in a car over night, which we have finally gotten her over that fear. We couldn't even put gas in the car without taking her out of the car first, because she was afraid we were going to leave her. BUT THE GREAT STATE OF TEXAS, DOESN'T CARE HOW MANY REPORTS YOU MAKE AGAINST THE MOTHER, WE ARE INVADING THE MOTHERS RIGHTS!!!! LIKE I SAID BEFORE THE STATE OF TEXAS NEEDS TO CHANGE... THEY KNOW HOW MUCH A FATHER MAKES TO CACULATE CHILDSUPPORT, BUT WHAT DO THEY DO TO MAKE SURE THE MONEY IS GOING FOR THE CARE OF THE CHILD! Not a damn thing, they don't care about the children the OAG labels the children a credit card (woodville office stated this to our companys lawyers over the phone on tape). So how do you feel now that the OAG feels your child is just a credit card! My step children are not credit cards, or numbers they are human. Texas needs to change their practices, all they see is $$$, that goverment sends them when they collect child support from a father, they don't care about the chilren, or the family's involved. It is all about the money,so you need to get your facts straight! Children are a gift from god, and the child support system, Family court Judges, don't care they Think they are doing in the best intrest of the child, BUT NEGLECT ISN'T THE BEST INTREST OF THE CHILD!!!! MEN ARE SEEN AS DEAD BEATS, AND A PITY PARTY IS THROWN FOR THE MOTHERS! SO YOU TELL ME IS IT FAIR FOR FATHERS THAT DO THEIR PART FOR THEIR CHILDREN TO BE PUT IN THE SAME CATAGORY AS THE ONES THAT DON'T DO THEIR PART!!!! I DON'T THINK SO! YOU ARE INTITLED TO YOUR OPINON, AND SO AM I! TEXAS NEEDS TO CHANGE!!!

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Imbalance in the system
by: Anonymous

Women demand equal rights. This is a fair thing - I support it, but with the right not to be discriminated against, comes the reponsibility not to be favored. I have seen child support used to abuse the relationship and to retaliate against the father. My best friend was denied from seeing his child by his wife - in violation of both the custody agreement and court order.

While dead beat dads are wrong, so are the mothers who keep the father from the child. If the state is to interfere and require support, then it should require compliance with the the other side of the coin - with visitation as well.

As for the amount of child support, most cases I have seen it is fair. Remember, that it is supposed to be for the child's support - NOT the mothers. That is what alimony is for. I have often seen father's paying directly for the daycare, and the mother still trying and often succeeding in getting paid for it.

As for the women being believed, it runs rampant thru the police. I have called the police on my ex who was very violent and an alcoholic, and *I* was assumed to be wrong when they came. In fact they believe it was better to leave a seven year old with a drunk mother than with a sober father. I was requierd to leave while my drunk wife stayed with the child.

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Get your Facts Striaght!!
by: Anonymous

Stepmother of 3! Its women like you who run their mouth and don?t know what they are talking about!!!! First of all I am educated and do not live off the system! Its sounds to me that you are upset because your man has to pay support and has nothing left for you!!!! Secondly the fathers and I?m not saying all fathers but most go on to marry and do what ever never taking out time with the child!!! The women are left to raise that child and make excuses for the deadbeat father that never shows for visits! I don?t think Texas needs to change the laws and apparently they don?t either because they are still in place for a reason!!! 20% of a mans salary isn?t sh--- when it comes down to paying $220 a week for day care of an infant! And the women still has a house note, car note, and other bills! What you need to do is get your facts straight before you speak out!!!! How about getting some class about yourself! I?m entitled to my opinion! You don?t know a D--- thing about my child?s father! Its step parents like you that make me sick!!!!!!!!!! Always thing the children should come last so you can have what you want! Keep socking it to them Texas!!! Your doing what right!!!

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no justice
by: Anonymous

I being a female so agree and have seen the unjustified actions by the "system". I know of too many females who use the system and are vindictive. It is just so discusting that my blood just boils!!

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To the One that doesn't agree!
by: Stepmother of 3

Let Me Understand what you said " Men get to go on with life and the women is left to try and raise the child! The mother has to deal with all the up bring as the father goes on to do whatever he wants! They should pay child support and Texas should keep socking it to them! Maybe then they will learn not to make children they can't support!!!!!" Your words, YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!!!! IT TAKES TWO TO MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY SUPPORT A CHILD, JUST BECAUSE YOUR MAN IS A DEADBEAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT EVERY MAN IS A DEADBEAT! WOMEN LIKE YOU MAKE ME SICK YOU MUST BE ONE THAT LIVES OF THE SYSTEM AND EXPECTS YOUR BABY'S DADDY TO PAY ALL THE BILLS, WHILE YOU SIT ON YOUR LAZY ASS!!!! DON'T YOU DARE EVER MAKE A COMMENT LIKE THAT AGAIN!!!! YOU ARE A SICK INDIVIDUAL, I 'M TIRED OF WOMEN THINKING THAT THE WORLD OWES THEM BECAUSE THEY HAD A CHILD, AND MEN ARE EXPECTED TO PAY OUTRAGEOUS AMOUNTS OF CHILDSUPPORT TO A WOMEN THAT CHOOSES NOT TO WORK, OR FOLLOW COURT ORDERS. SO YOU NEED TO SIT BACK AND LOOK AT YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU MADE THAT CHILD TO, AND THE CHILD IS YOUR RESPONSIBLITY AS WELL, SO OWN UP TO RESPONSIBLITY AND DO YOUR PART!!!!!! THE SYSTEM NEEDS TO BE FIXED, AND IT NEEDS TO MAKE BOTH PARTEIS 50/50 RESPONSIBLE FOR SUPPORT INSTEAD OF BEING 1 SIDED!!!!

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BE RESPONSIBLE
by: Anonymous

WHY SHOULD SOMEONE HAVE TO MAKE YOU TAKE RESPONSIBILTY FOR YOUR OWN SEED. IF YOU DID IT ON YOUR OWN YOU WOULD NOT LOOK LIKE LOOSRES.CHILDREN ARE NOT CHEAP TO RAISE. BE RESPONSIBLE.

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You said it best!
by: O RLY

Luthor, you have clearly given the best dissertation on Child Support in the United States today, and have captured the essence of what upstanding parents are feeling today.

Unfortunately, for many states (if not all), Child Support and its resulting enforcement is a win-win for both the state and the custodial parent. In New York, for example, it is assumed that the custodial parent (usually the mother) is telling the truth without any supporting evidence, while the non-custodial parent (usually the father) has to cough up all kinds of documentation just to avoid being thrown in jail or worse.

Then you have the Federal stipend or reimbursement that each state gets for every child support case they have open.

As long as they (those who abuse the system) keep running to court to get their payday, the states will continue to ensure that "equitable" support is ordered. It's all about the money.

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I totally disagree!
by: Anonymous

I do not think this needs to be changed! These men should have thought about what they were doing when they helped make theses children! Men get to go on with life and the women is left to try and raise the child! The mother has to deal with all the up bring as the father goes on to do whatever he wants! They should pay child support and Texas should keep socking it to them! Maybe then they will learn not to make children they can't support!!!!!

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100% agree with you
by: Anonymous

Im a father with a second family i have 5 children with my wife now i have one thats 18 by a woman that i was never married to i was 17 young and dume but i pay my child support when i can i also have another that is 13 by another woman i was never married to but i cant get my child support lowered the states child support atturny denies it every time i do a modification to lower my total i pay a mounth is over $700. dollars $351. to each child thay realy do sockit to the man thats for sure we cant win for loseing ive allready spent 45 days in jail for contempt of court when i was out of work and couldent pay for a while then thay turned around and indicted me for a felony failure to pay support to a minor now im on probation for 5 years which i think is wrong becouse i allready spent my time in jail i havent been to see my probation officer since october because i moved out of state for work (yes i had permission) now i cant afford to go see my probation officer its over 300 miles and thay refuse to transfer so now i have to petision the court to transfer but i think thay might revolk my probation before i can get it through any suggestions i have a lawyer but there not much help.

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100% Agree
by: Stepmother of 3

I can't agree with you More I think you should vist the Woodville TX office of the AG Child Support Div,It is the same story My husband and I went for a modification for his 10 your old son from his ex and his Ex was treated like a Queen and they socked it to him.(EX does not work has no income but Child support,SS, and state payes for her car, ins, and any extra's for other son that is disabled and has a different father and disabled child goes to school 8hrs a day)She gets treated like a god and My husband who does his part every wk out of every paycheck gets the shaft. My husband supports 3 house holds His oldest lives with his ex wife he supports her, his son and the other boy that isn't his. Next he support his youngest 2 children from his exgirlfriend, but these two live with their grand parents (mother is unfit) and grand parents never ask for extras. Then our Household we just barly get by each month. I agree with childsupport 100% when it goes to the child, but I don't agree that the Custodial parents can do no wrong, SUCH AS NOT SUPPORTING THE CHILDREN AS WELL $$, AND FOLLOWING COURT ORDERS!!!! IT TAKES 2 TO MAKE A CHILD IT SHOULD TAKE 2 EQUALY TO SUPPORT THE CHILD MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY!!!! THIS NEED TO BE CHANGED.

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