When will there be change

by Luthor
(USA)

I have experienced and still live many of the horror stories on this site. I call them horror stories because child support has become a grossly abused but albeit necessary evil. The problem is that the fathers who actually do as a father should more than just financially are fodder for an unbalanced and unfair system.

Child support should be used to take of a child. That's a no-brainer. Child support should not be used as a tool by a vindictive parent to get even with another parent. Child support should not mean that the other parent should suffer financially. But in this day and age it does. Time and time again child support and it many resources, checks and balances are used to discourage, beat down and demoralize the non-custodial parent in most cases men.

A father can be jailed for non-compliance to a child support order but what is the penalty for a mother that denies him the right to see his child/children when its court ordered that he can. And let's not forget the role of law enforcement (Philadelphia being one of the worst)when it comes to enforcement. Arrested at your job or at home for non-compliance to pay. But When it comes time to simply file a report because the custodial parent does not adhere to the order, no one wants to get involved. Shameful.

Just as eager as these officers are to laugh and joke, to demean and insinuate about an individual, they should show the same bravado when enforcing court ordered visitation, not just court ordered support. The laws are extremely one-sided. Child support has become a blank check that can be used by women, to threaten, intimidate and abuse a man. For every story you hear about a dead-beat dad there are dozens more who have stepped up but are now trapped in a system where the mother can pull his strings as easily as a puppeteer makes a marionette dance. Where's our advocacy?! Where's our lobbyist?! What happened to our rights? Or did I assume too much and that we have none once a child is born.

I have been to child support offices in 5 different east coast states(not because I have children in them) and will be heading to more soon to make an observations. In my recent visits find it disheartening that the ratio of case workers/case managers, etc. have a female to male ratio of about 4 to 1 in each office, what also concerns me is the discriminatory attitude shone to each male visitor who walks through these doors unless accompanied by legal counsel(which really isn't much help). You are wrong from the time you sit down. One proceeding that I observed even allowed a verbal statement to be accepted as verification of income for the father from the mother. He was then told that it could be up to three months to appeal, but his wages would be garnished by his next pay. Sad, indeed especially when he sat there waiting for his name to be called palms sweating with his just above minimum wage pay stubs in his hand, at that time they were not entered into evidence as verification of wages, who knows what happened later.. These are the practices that need to stop.