Where is the money?

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Where is the money?

I have a 15yr old boy that I have always taken care of. I got a bit behind a few years ago but have always made it a point to be there for my son. Here is my problem, his mother is the custodial parent. I pay $500 per month that includes a portion of the arrears I owe. Most months I pay well over that amount, up to $1000. Every month I get a call from her asking where is her money? "She counts on it as part of here household income." But now keep in mind that I have not missed a payment in over two years. She has been through several husbands and her current husband let that comment slip to me that they have joint account in which all of their money goes. So here is my point of anger. I pick my son up last week and he comes out wearing shorts in 30 degree weather! When I ask him he says that he has no clothes! What!!! So let me see, I pay the support, all of his Insurance (another $300 per month) and she says she just has not got around to buying him new clothes!
Grrrrrrr!

It has been like this for 15yrs and I am tired. Where is the money that is for my son? Can I not enforce in some way to verify that the money is really going for my child and not whatever she wants to spend it on? Such as receipts or something along that line. After paying over $85,000 Over the years you would think she put some away for his collage, but no, nothing. Keep in mind she has always worked and been married to husbands that make good money.
Thanks!!

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Where is the money?

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Feb 15, 2009
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how about those taxes!!!!
by: Anonymous

My sons mother and i had a good relationship after we split up.we agreed that i would be a father to our boy.so she entered a crappy relationship where she lost almost everything.at the end of that relationship,she apllied for public assistance who then took me to court for child support.i was then ordered to pay her (or them shall i say)a monthly fee.i was also ordered to pay the arrears dating back to the day he was born!!!so there i was,thousands in the hole.tax time came.i never recieved my return.they garnished my wages.now she has not recieved a single check.alot of money has been payed into child support for a boy who had every and anything he wanted or needed.now i cant give him all of those things.now there is an allowed percentage that can be taken from your paycheck.why isnt there one for our tax returns?and how can ANYONE HAVE THE RIGHT TO INVADE ON TWO PARENTS'MUTUAL AGREEMENT to support there children on the simple fact that the mother needs help supporting herself?my son has less now because there are no laws in the favor of the non-custodial.and to top that off...they told me to prove that id been supporting him for the past 7 yrs!!!!!now how would i do that?as parents we agreed to take on our responsibilities.she didnt ask for child support...she asked for help supporting herself......

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Feb 15, 2009
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Submitted by: Anonymous

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My sons mother and i had a good relationship after we split up.we agreed that i would be a father to our boy.so she entered a crappy relationship where she lost almost everything.at the end of that relationship,she apllied for public assistance who then took me to court for child support.i was then ordered to pay her (or them shall i say)a monthly fee.i was also ordered to pay the arrears dating back to the day he was born!!!so there i was,thousands in the hole.tax time came.i never recieved my return.they garnished my wages.now she has not recieved a single check.alot of money has been payed into child support for a boy who had every and anything he wanted or needed.now i cant give him all of those things.now there is an allowed percentage that can be taken from your paycheck.why isnt there one for our tax returns?and how can ANYONE HAVE THE RIGHT TO INVADE ON TWO PARENTS'MUTUAL AGREEMENT to support there children on the simple fact that the mother needs help supporting herself?my son has less now because there are no laws in the favor of the non-custodial.and to top that off...they told me to prove that id been supporting him for the past 7 yrs!!!!!now how would i do that?as parents we agreed to take on our responsibilities.she didnt ask for child support...she asked for help supporting herself......

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Dec 08, 2008
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What you dont' see
by: Anonymous

What you all don't see is that some of us mothers work two jobs to support our children. With out the help from anyone so if we do get some kind of support, and need to use it to pay a bill or to buy food then that is for the use of the child. You complain about the amount well stop and think about this what it costs to raise a child today! Here is a look at my budget house pmt 500 food 300 car ins. 130 clothes 50 school exp 50 elect. 150 health ins.360 thats a total of 1540 this does not include the extras like phone tv or anything else my daughter wants. All these things are for her, and all of these are pervided by me her father hasn't payed in almost a year so if i want to use his lousy 50 dollars he was sending on my self then so be it.

Dec 02, 2008
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Been There! Done that!
by: Non-Custodial

I have a 15yr old and 11yr old sons. We have joint custody.There mother was ordered 510.00 a month.Not alot of money for two kids but,we still put out money for everything. My kids do without due to mother mismanaging the money.My kids never have decent clothes or things they needed at their mothers.We had a review with the AG to see if she could be ordered to account for the money spent on children.(AG told us that it is fringing on mothers'rights.Her response to AG; CHILD SUPPORT IS HER SOURCE OF INCOME. Keep in mind also; she has brand new truck, money to party every weekend, new clothes and even money to vacation. Where does the money go? NOT ON MY CHILDREN WHEN THEY ARE IN HER HOUSE. Listen up fathers we are PAYING FOR OUR CHILDREN MOTHERS' TO LIVE THEIR LIFESTYLES...our children can't drive their trucks, don't go on vacation with them, do not where designer clothing, get to eat out every night. SO WHERE'S THE MONEY! I AGREE...

Dec 02, 2008
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In the same boat
by: Girlfriend of Non Custodial Father

I agree with you 100%, But if it was to go to court the judge would say that we are invading the mothers rights and there is nothing they can do about it. My boyfreind has 3 children and a month ago his oldest son asked us about guitar lessons we said to him I thought your mother was going to take care of that. His reply was no mom said she can't get me guitar lessons until you GIVE HER THE MONEY! He pays $400 a month in Child Support, and the guitar lessons is a small thing, but she could have taken $60 a month to pay for the lessons. We also made a deal with his mother that we would buy the school clothes if she bought the school supplies, but instead her mother went out and bought the school supplies. Also last christmas she called and wanted extra money for christmas gifts so we sent her the money, but when we picked his son up for Christmas and asked him what his mother gave him for Christmas he showed us a $20 dollar camera from wal-mart, and she took the rest of the money and spent it on herself. Now my future stepson has told me after his mother has payed all her bills she goes out and buys her self something nice like clothes etc. But here is the real kicker she LIVES OFF THE SYSTEM!!! She collects CSupport from my boyfreind, and disability for her other son as well as other state funding and is very capable of getting a job while both her children are a school. But she thinks THE WORLD OWES HER!and won't go out and get a job. What p***es me of the most is when she doesn't get her Child support check on time she calls us and harasses my boyfreind, when it's out of his hands.

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Dec 02, 2008
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Submitted by: Girlfriend of Non Custodial Father

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I agree with you 100%, But if it was to go to court the judge would say that we are invading the mothers rights and there is nothing they can do about it. My boyfreind has 3 children and a month ago his oldest son asked us about guitar lessons we said to him I thought your mother was going to take care of that. His reply was no mom said she can't get me guitar lessons until you GIVE HER THE MONEY! He pays $400 a month in Child Support, and the guitar lessons is a small thing, but she could have taken $60 a month to pay for the lessons. We also made a deal with his mother that we would buy the school clothes if she bought the school supplies, but instead her mother went out and bought the school supplies. Also last christmas she called and wanted extra money for christmas gifts so we sent her the money, but when we picked his son up for Christmas and asked him what his mother gave him for Christmas he showed us a $20 dollar camera from wal-mart, and she took the rest of the money and spent it on herself. Now my future stepson has told me after his mother has payed all her bills she goes out and buys her self something nice like clothes etc. But here is the real kicker she LIVES OFF THE SYSTEM!!! She collects CSupport from my boyfreind, and disability for her other son as well as other state funding and is very capable of getting a job while both her children are a school. But she thinks THE WORLD OWES HER!and won't go out and get a job. What p***es me of the most is when she doesn't get her Child support check on time she calls us and harasses my boyfreind, when it's out of his hands.

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Where is the money?

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Where is the money?