Where is the money?

I have a 15yr old boy that I have always taken care of. I got a bit behind a few years ago but have always made it a point to be there for my son. Here is my problem, his mother is the custodial parent. I pay $500 per month that includes a portion of the arrears I owe. Most months I pay well over that amount, up to $1000. Every month I get a call from her asking where is her money? "She counts on it as part of here household income." But now keep in mind that I have not missed a payment in over two years. She has been through several husbands and her current husband let that comment slip to me that they have joint account in which all of their money goes. So here is my point of anger. I pick my son up last week and he comes out wearing shorts in 30 degree weather! When I ask him he says that he has no clothes! What!!! So let me see, I pay the support, all of his Insurance (another $300 per month) and she says she just has not got around to buying him new clothes!
Grrrrrrr!

It has been like this for 15yrs and I am tired. Where is the money that is for my son? Can I not enforce in some way to verify that the money is really going for my child and not whatever she wants to spend it on? Such as receipts or something along that line. After paying over $85,000 Over the years you would think she put some away for his collage, but no, nothing. Keep in mind she has always worked and been married to husbands that make good money.
Thanks!!

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