Who Cares

by Another Dad
(memphis,tn)

To all the dads hold on to what you know in your heart is real, I have three kids by this young lady, two in my marriage. Now things were cool between me an my kids mom before I got married. Now she is making the state bend me over backwards. Everybody expects the dads to fork over all his money, (state/kids mom) for clothes, food, car, her nights on the town. These young dads know what I mean. Dads have you ever seen your kids looking like shit, excuse me that's sounds bad, looking dusty while your kids mom has on new clothes hair done, nails done ? I have, I have even went as far as taking the kids cause she left them with some more kids that called their self grown.


My son was about 5 he was in a pamper, my twins were about 2 they had been in the sames clothes for about 3 days. Now I did the right thing as a Father I took my kids. There's more to the story just keep reading, now what makes this situation bad is the fact that my sister had the kids. Now this sister asked another sister to watch them now this sister is younger she is about 15 or 16 at the time not getting paid to watch them, an to into boys to be watching some kids. So I get a phone call saying that my kids were left at my moms house in this condition.

So I go get them. I take them to my house clean them up, keep in mind I'm looking for her to see whats the problem her, so I called an phone is disconnected. So now I'm like dam my kids need me more now than ever, so now here she comes she want the kids back, and the fucked up thing about it is my sisters had her number they didn't want me to have it. They were on that, just cause their not together I'm still her friend shit. Not just that I was every guy that had done them wrong in life, cause women stick together! Fellows listen up cause this is real talk. Now the police calling me talking kidnapping charges, why? What about neglect? True enough I was young and didn't know any better, I gave the kids back, Fathers that was a bad mistake!! Now this was in December of 2004.

She played it cool started to let me see the kids more till about March of 05 then here comes the bomb shell. MY manager gets a call from the Memphis police saying the the car I'm driving is stolen. Dam I was just going up for an M.I.T.(manager in training) making good money. Now I only been working for a few months now. I suffered 15% 1st,2nd,3rd degree burns from my stomach up to my face i had some time off just to heal. So now I can't get promoted cause their is now a lack of trust with my employer.

Then I get a letter from the state of Tennessee asking for child support. That's not the problem, here's the problem we go to court I'm told I have to pay insurance, child support and I'm $10,000 behind when it starts. So now the car that i was driving it was in her name I paid the note, but just cause she cried wolf, the dealer came looking for the car, so now I can't drive the car or take a chance on walking home from work. An now my check is no 78.00 every two weeks. How do I survive? I have two more kids they don't understand hunger. A house with enough bedrooms for the kids when they come over.

Now All of that is gone how do I bounce back. The state don't look at that shit. Now she won't me see the kids If I call she won't answer I have to send the police over there to check up on them. I been going threw this for the last 6 years. Now she has moved and I don't know where my kids are. I know every body's saying visitation, sure i can get it if i pay for it. WHAT, pay child support and pay for visitation that's fucked up. Deadbeat my ass, why the fuck the state makes it so hard for dads to be in their children lives. I asked for a modification it takes 6 to 8 months, she say I ain't paying i gotta cough up money or go to jail, it's a catch 22 so dads hold on

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The price of divorce
by: Anonymous

First let me say not all women stick together. I am a woman. Never received child support for me three children. But I did not let that stop me. I moved on. If thier father wanted to see them he did if not he did not. Why punish the kids because i did not agree. I now have a husband that has be done so wrong about his child support. I agree that men in this country are being abused. I agree we need a overhaul and fairness. I spend my day and when ever I can trying to let it be know about how men are being abused in child support cases. So remember we have to try to move on . Your case sounds a lot like other cases . I really dont know the answer to your problem but I sure believe you need a solution. Keep trying . Good Luck

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I'm not a father
by: Anonymous

But I'm a mother of two little girls who suffer because of a crazy ex. Your story sounds a lot like ours. I think it's scary how close it is actually. My husband only had one child with the ex, but she doesn't take care of the kid and pulls the same shit. I don't understand why it's ok for them to take all of your money especially when you have another family to support. They should look at both sides and do what's fair for both parents. Ya I do think that as a father it's your obligation to help support your child, but that doesn't mean giving all of your money to your ex. Support a child is about being in the childs life and helping do what you can. Your present family shouldn't have to suffer because of your ex.

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NOT alone
by: Anonymous

find a support group through internet or self help center and find one who supports fathers they can give you the resources and support needed to help keep you sanity cuz the system is out to screw you and if you don't start trying to find solutions, even though it's a long road without it youll lose them forever and be in debt forever good luck your not alone amongst thousands

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