Who stands to gain?

by Tony V
(New York)

You know in the old tv cop dramas they always say follow the money. Who stands to gain? I've been reading post all afternoon and a reoccuring thing keeps popping up to me. There are people on both sides of the issue who are being mis-treated. They are usally the ones who are trying to play by the rules. You have custodial parents on one end who are receiving little to no help from the courts and non-custodian parents being raked over the coals. Despite where you are with your personal situation consider this. Who is gaining by providing such shoddy service? Does their lack of intrest or compassion affect whatever monetary gains they achieve for the state? I've come to understand, with my own experience that the "System" any system is like war. It only serves itself and will serve those who are rightous. While it will be said and can be argued that it is there to protect whom-ever, the fact of the matter is that it serves itself. There is no reason why anyone in this country should be treated as sub-human for finding themselves falling out of a relashionship where a child was concived. To stand in a familiy court courtroom here and have no voice. Murderers and pedophiles get to say their piece. To be put in a position where suicide is perferable to a existience of anguish is unthinkable. Then if being treated like an animal isn't enough you have to watch how your case is being mishandled by the SCU because they are incapable of completing simple math problems. But I digress, here is my point. Belive that wether or not you make your payments or are receiving payments, people who often times are inept and unhelpful, when they are not outright apathetic receive a benifit. I can remeber the first time my son's Mom asked ME to call SCU to find out where her payment was, even though it is garnished and payed directly. Imagine my surprise when I learned because she live in another state it can take at least 30 days to process payment. I did make those calls and have done so often since. No we don't get along well, I rarely see my son although my payment covering the chid care portion (my son is 20 yrs old and I still pay it) when was not in school is supposed to cover expenses for him to come see me, I have still payed for plane tickets.



One more thing, when "it" stops being about the best for the child and continues to be punishment for leaving I feel or bets are off between the "adults" in the situation. I recently spoke to my son's Mom after nearly 5 years, because he was sick. Where I have had little problem admitting my faults in the failed relationship she admits none. Next year my son will be my age when he was born, with a woman 14 yrs my seinor, go figure.

All I can do is continue to be availible to him the best I can.

I have not gone into any of the gory details of what has been done to who over the years, but I will say this, while I do not condone violence as an answer, I understand how and why it happens.

To all struggling...Keep your left up

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