Women treated like 2nd class citizens
I am a Single 52 year old mother of 2 teenage daughters. I'm also college educated and I am a Nurse and I am white. Due to complications from a surgery I have had to go on medicaid and food stamps at one time. I am totally grateful for all the help I have been giver. Now I'll tell you about my experience and hopefully it will open the Publics Eyes to how Women and Children are treated like 2nd class citizens when going after these Deadbeat dads.
It has brought so much stress into my like with Menopause and raising 2 teenage daughters on top of it and chasing a Deadbeat Dad who every time he gets a job and I find him he Quits. If you think that this doesn't have such a negative and stressful environment on the mother and her Children your wrong.
I am so ashamed on how I handled the situation and I can't take it back. I actually not knowingly ran my 17 year old daughter right into the hands of her Deadbeat dad. It was around 8 weeks and 1 day before her 18 birthday she moved out and stated she would never see me again or her sister and that her father had told her that I had manipulated her all these years and kept her from him.
I am not going into a he said she said. But wake up. These Deadbeat Dads are like Republican Politicans they are putting a spin on it. This deadbeat never wanted visitation until I asked for an increase in Child Support she was 8 years old. He signed the papers at the Hospital and because I refused to give her his last name he refused contact with her. I am not going to go into specific details on how he would react when I bought her to his house. He would see me not her. However I did keep his verbally abusive dad to me involved in her life and he lives a half a block away from his father. He could have seen her any time.
It took him 4 days to come to the Hospital to see her and sign the papers how would I have given her his last. Name. What was I going to name her Budweiser? Because that is what he was doing while I was pregors and in Labor and had a c-section. I just could not raise my daughter in those conditions. When my daughter was 2 years old he came over on his bicycle to give me the insurance papers he signed and that was the first time he had seen his daughter since birth. It kinda hard to work in your daughter when you alledged drink 36 cans of beer a day. He then saw her off and on his terms alcohol always involved and I had to be with and my other baby daughter.
It was very inconsistent and I could no longer subject my children to that because I would never live that way. He saw her off and on for 3 years went to a friends funeral came to my house on his bike at night and said I just met another women and she is like me and drinks what do you want me to do. I said well quit drinking he said not going to happen I then said go for it and he did and married her two of a kind.
He then did not see his daughter for 3 more years until I asked for more Child Support then he all of the sudden I guess was saved. Because he decided to get married to his equal mate and said he quit drinking. Sure thats why I've seen him buying beer at the Gas station. Plus guess where he and his wife had there wedding reception in a Bar. Neither one of them could drive at the time and her grandfather had to take them to the Hotel for their Honeymoon. How romantic. I do not drink and you would never catch me having my wedding reception in a Bar.
Never called her for b-days or Christmas nothing although his verbally abusive father to me came to all her b-day partied and I also gave him pictures and the deadbeat son of his too. They didn't pay me for the Pictures nor did they ever ask for them I just made sure they got them with my money. Now the deadbeat is putting a spin on it and now is trying to what we Nurses call Covering his ass a little to late and my daughter believe this man. It is her father and she loves him which she should and i am glad they are establishing a relationship that should have started at birth.
This man always had enough money to take me to court for a reduction in Child Support or to act like he wanted visitation all of the Sudden after 8 years of not requesting any visitation. His Lawyer for the Child Support case took me in a room and said look he'll pay this amount and I have really never encountered this but does not request any visitation I'm really sorry. His lawyer said this to me.
He blames me for it. Are you kidding. I have spent the last nine years chasing him down from job to job because he would quit as soon as he was served papers. On my daughters 17 the birthday he went to where she worked after not trying to see her at all since she refused to visit him at the age of 13 years old he didn't even go to her 8 th grade graduation and she cried. I'm sure glad I didn't have a father like that I feel so guilty that he did that to my daughter. When he did see her at 17 years old he said you want me to take your mom to Court for visitation.
Slow down big boy you were noway going to do that then the man on the moon. Because you knew you would get busted for contempt of Court orders to report changes in jobs and income. The only time I really got Child Support which was only $39 dollars a week was when he was on unemployment. I guess the State of Illinois gives unemployment to people that don't work because he claimed he did not have a job even after I caught him.
What these Deadbeats do is get the Child Support order lowered as low as possible then after it is Court ordered at a really low amount they quit there job get a higher paying one he put down he had no Children and some how got away with it for all those years. I went to an Attorney in 2003 the year I lost both my parents 6 months apart whom were very involved in their granddaughters life unlike the other grandparents and all 3 of us were devastated.
They were 10 and 11 years old. The Attorney said look my wife is a Nurse like you and I know you have strange hours. Any Attorney fresh out of law school would Know that this guy quit frankly is a prick. He know more wants to see his daughter he just does not want to pay you. This type of guy will take you to court and try to get Custody he won't but he will make sure you go through all your money and its not worth it.
You already know the Attorneys for the Attorney General for the State of Illinois are worthless just leave it alone at Speak about it when she is 18 years old and that is what I am doing.
I have more I am going to say later. From now on I will not do a he said she said I will just tell all of my experiences with this faulty system and try to help other Women go through it. I will be on utube soon and blog talk radio it will be under Politics and Child Support Issues. Keep checking.