Working the system

by BL
(Lubbock, TX)

I have been divorced for 5 years and have 3 children with my ex-husband. He has NEVER been current on his child support and is currently more than $25,000.00 in arrears. He has not seen the kids since the divorce. He calls them once in a blue moon and promises to send gifts that never come. Our son, who is now 14, has some special medical needs. Their father is ordered to pay a seperate medical support order and to reimburse me for the cost of their health insurance but of course doesn't. My son's medication is more than $10,000 a month and thank God that insurance covers alot of it but the premiums for the insurance are getting to be too much for me to handle. My ex has moved back and forth between Texas, Louisiana and Mississippi and I have to transfer the case every time he moves( a process that ususally takes 6 months or more) and by the time I get the case in place to enforce the orders -he moves again. He has been arrested twice for contempt. He knows exactly how to work the system now and the Courts don't play hardball with him. They give him too many chances and then he moves in the middle of the night and I'm back at square one again. The caseworker at the attorney general's office finally admitted to me that if he is going to move around alot then they really can't help me. When I was a full time student and received wellfare benefits the State of Texas was more aggressive about collecting the child support but now that I've graduated and make a better income and don't qualify for benefits anymore, they have no desire to really help us. I don't know how I'm going to keep going. I have more medical bills than I can possibly pay for my son's conditions and I'm already working 2 jobs. My ex-husband recently posted pictures of him and his new wife and her kids at Disney World on Facebook. He also posted pictures of his new truck that is in her name. I've printed those and given them to the caseworker who really didn't seem to care. It should be a felony to have a child and then refuse to feed or clothe them. I wish someone would get tough with him and tell him that he can't steal from his own flesh and blood.

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Texas Reality
by: Anonymous

I'm in Texas and my wife took the two kids and took off. Although she hasn't admitted it I strongly suspect she is in California..this comes from a couple good sources... from reading the posts I suspect some of you women are just a mirror image of this woman. You think you can rip the bond between father children, uplift them any old where you want and then force the father to help support your way of life. You had the children and you should understand that with that comes the possibility of a failed relationship and if you want the kids in your ball-court than you pay for the ball game. Some of you women are downright spiteful, hating lousy excuses for humanity. Some men are deadbeat dirty scroundels. Some men just dont want to deal with your crap that comes along with trying to continue a relationship with their kids. Some women wouldn't put their ex-husband through this. Some of you do and you know you're wrong and you know you hate your life. Those of you who don't think you're wrong, you need help and you are not in any capacity to properly care for the children you use as a tool to meet your own agenda.

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AG what a joke!
by: Anonymous

My experience is 67K owed and children are now adults! I finally got a judgement 6 months ago after I was drug in court by non custodial at my expense to defend arrears. Now that children are over 18 (mid 20's to be exact) the AG is not concerned in collection and will only enforce one legal action at a time due to cost of collection and the fact that funds owed are arrear not active collection. It would have never gotten to arrear if it had been collected by AG when they were minors! A lien owned by AG has been placed on a 250K property but due to the nature of non custodial employment it appears the property will be traded without enforcement of lein. AG is not interested in further action. What a joke!I suggest you utilize the AG resources while you have minors.

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What to do????
by: Anonymous

I live in Minnesota and recently found out that my childs father is in Texas, and get this he has become a BISHOP!! Wait there's more.... he is in arrears about $30,000.00 called the Child Support office here because of the Liencse supension hold and LIED and said that he would pay it off. Guess what? go ahead i'll wait..... heck no he hasn't paid anything! I need options, information from other parents who have been in this situation. I am really concidering writing this Presiding Bishop who ordained him and asking about the church's payroll process so garnishment can begin.

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Similar Boat
by: Anonymous

I am in a similar boat. The father of my children owes me over $19,000 in arrears and works the system with his jobs. He works construction, and everytime we finally find him and get the paperwork done for garnishment, he changes companies and jobs. He has already been arrested once for contempt and is about to have another warrant for contempt again. But it takes FOREVER to go through this process everytime and is expensive. I wish the laws were much more harsh for parents not taking responsiblity for their children.
-Side note: I don't know about Texas, but in Louisiana, if the father has not contacted the children or paid child support in 6 months or more -- if the mother is married, her husband can adopt the children without the father's consent. Good luck!

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i sympathasize
by: Anonymous

sorry it's father like that that give fathers who want to be a parent to their children a bad name wish you the best hang in their it's worth the struggle don't give up good luck

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